


What Hands Do

by violetchachkii



Category: Degrassi
Genre: Domestic Violence, Drug Dealing, Drug Use, Drug Withdrawal, Gang Violence, Guns, Multi, Teen Pregnancy, West Side Story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 10:06:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 77,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4517766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetchachkii/pseuds/violetchachkii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the eventful summer with record heat and staged kidnappings, the students of Degrassi return for another interesting year. When Maya gets the idea to perform West Side Story as the fall musical, the stage is set for new relationships to emerge, old ones to heat up, and three months of utter, unadulterated chaos. ON HIATUS.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. For Prayers' Sake

**Day 1:**

The end of August was right around the corner and school had been in session for only two weeks.  At last it was junior year for Maya, Zoe, Tristan and the others, who were still missing the summer that had brought high temperatures, new relationships, and eventually a happy ending that shuttled in what was to come for the fall.

It was 7:45 when the group of friends entered the school to see Maya, who had gotten there even earlier for her student council meeting and then her one-on-one with Ms. Pill about something that she was keeping a secret. She was on her tip-toes in front of the entrance bulletin board with a stack of posters in one hand and what could be assumed was a pushpin in the other. She was struggling and Zig was the one who practically rushed over to help her.

“Thank you,” Maya said as she stuck the poster on the bulletin board and stabbed it with a pushpin. Zig grabbed the stack and the box of pins from her. She turned to her friends and waited for them to see what was on the poster.

“West Side Story?” Winston asked incredulously, looking around at the people surrounding him to see if they agreed with his confusion.

The pride on Maya’s face fell and she looked down for a moment. “It’s the fall musical. Pill said it would be a good idea to start with a bang. But it had to be legally recognized so…”

“It will be fun,” Zig added, jumping to her rescue. He wrapped the arm that wasn’t holding the posters around her waist. He continued. “This time someone won’t be starring in their own musical,” he looked at Winston as he spoke.

A thunderous silence filled the group for a few moments. Maya was starting to get even more disappointed. She thought that it was a good idea. She was the one that had suggested having a fall musical and accepted Ms. Pill’s suggestion of West Side Story. It was the newest one of her options, which she was sure her friends would be thankful for. The rest were from the 40s, after all.

“It’s…vintage. Old people will like it,” Tristan reasoned with as much positivity as he could muster. The chorus of affirmative noises that followed made Maya’s hope spark. She looked up at Zig to see what he was thinking and he gave her a supportive look. They would learn to love it. She certainly hoped they would.

“Are you directing?” Frankie asked, being the second to speak up.

“Matlin? Direct?” Grace’s voice punctured their circle as she walked up to join them. She stood next to Zoe, who smiled knowingly at her. “I will unfortunately be the artist in charge.”

Maya looked over at Grace with a thankful expression. She had been the first person she told about her fall musical idea. She had joined her in Pill’s office that morning, assuring their principal that she was a competent director. This was only after constant berating from Maya for days before she finally relented and agreed. She was a good artist, why wouldn’t she be good at this?

Grace rolled her eyes at Maya’s face and proceeded to eye everyone in the circle with a severe expression. “You’re all going to practice and try out, right?” she said as she met everyone’s gaze. Another round of agreeable sounds passed through the group and Grace looked back to Maya with what could be considered a smile for Grace.

As the sounds died down, Grace nodded and nudged Zoe to follow her. The walked away like a queen leaving after she made am earth-shattering decree. Maya’s face was starting to perk up right as she followed them with her eyes. The bell rang only moments after and everyone said their goodbyes before shuffling off the class. Maya gave a small wave as Tristan put a supportive hand on her shoulder. He walked off and she turned to Zig.

“They’ll try out. Just give them time,” Zig comforted before she could say a word. He was being supportive, which she was thankful for, but she didn’t want him to force it. She grabbed the box of pushpins from him and smiled a little.

“Are you going to audition?” she asked instead of questioning his fake support.

His mouth opened and closed a few times before he sighed. “I want to but work and school and…”

“You were so good in Captain Who though!” Maya pouted, placing her free hand on his chest and balling his shirt in her hand casually. Zig swallowed and closed his eyes. She could tell that he had no more excuses left and would have to audition. Even if she wasn’t directing, it was still her call to have it happen and she didn’t want it to be a disappointment.

“Fine. I’ll audition,” her boyfriend agreed and Maya hugged him tight. He rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she exclaimed. She pulled him into a kiss, which he returned whole heartedly. It wasn’t until they heard a voice breaking through the loud crowds saying “no PDA!” did they break apart.

“You’re welcome,” Zig wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He kissed her temple.

“Pill said I can miss part of first period while I’m putting these signs up. Want to join me?” she asked, nudging his side with her elbow.

“Of course. After all, you’re a little short for the high up places.”

Maya gaped jokingly and elbowed him harder. He laughed and rubbed his side. With positive grins, they went on the post the remaining signs.

\-----

“I can’t believe you’re directing a musical,” Zoe commented as she and Grace walked down the hallway together. Her hand was itching to grab Grace’s like she would when they were out of school, but she told herself that she was taking this slow. Taking all of this slow meant not letting the people around school know there was something going on between the two of them. They were simply lab partners who happened to become close friends.

Grace scoffed and stopped in front of her locker. She opened it and Zoe leaned against the one beside it to look at her. She gave her an expectant look when the other girl looked over at her for a split second.

“Matlin needed by help. I’m a sucker for puppy eyes,” she said as she piled books into the crook of her arm.

Zoe gave a disbelieving look. “You want to do it. You enjoy it.”

Grace slammed her locker and rolled her eyes. She leaned against it so she could get a good look at Zoe, who was giving her knowing eyes. She wanted to push the distracting hair out of her kind-of-girlfriend’s face but resisted. They weren’t out yet. Zoe wanted to go slow and she respected that. That still didn’t prevent her from wanting to touch her twenty-four hours a day.

“Maybe I’m a little into it. But if you tell anyone, you’re dead Rivas,” she relented, pointing at her threateningly. Zoe could only laugh a little under her breath. Grace had stopped scaring her halfway through the summer. Her threats were empty and it was starting to be hilarious for her if she acted tough towards her. It worked on others, but no longer on Zoe.

“Whatever,” Zoe shrugged, kicking off of the locker so she was standing straight in front of Grace. “As long as I get to be your Maria there won’t be a problem.”

“About that…” Grace began, taking Zoe’s hand in hers when she saw that no one was looking.

Zoe sighed and nodded. “Of course. I can’t be Maria because it sounds like unfair casting. Great.”

“I don’t make the rules, babe,” Grace shrugged, trying to comfort her by squeezing her hand. Zoe let go and held her books with both hands against her chest. The hurt on her face made Grace’s heart sink. Any enthusiasm she had about the endeavor seemed to leave, which made Grace feel something that was different than anything she had felt before.

“Fine. I guess they just don’t deserve my talent,” Zoe said in the voice that Grace knew was her pretending everything was okay. She would fall back into her bitchy, mean-girl routine to hide any hurt she was feeling.

“Please audition anyway,” the blue-haired girl practically begged. Zoe looked at her hesitantly. “If not for me, for Maya? She really wants this to be a thing for some reason.”

Zoe sighed, looking like she was contemplating the meaning of life. She finally nodded with defeat. “Fine. I will audition. But if I get anything less than one of Maria’s friends in ‘I Feel Pretty’ I am quitting.”

It was a tough compromise but Grace didn’t sigh like she wanted to and just nodded. Zoe’s beaming smile returned to her face and that was enough to make Grace agree to anything.

\-----

Tristan couldn’t get the idea of West Side Story out of his mind once he saw the poster. More importantly, he couldn’t get the idea of Miles as Tony out of his head. It made him eager for class to be unearthly boring so he could just enjoy his fantasy. Who could really listen to a lecture about imaginary numbers when the images of Miles in a tacky yet charming 60s sport coat were so easily accessible? Tristan concluded that no one could.

His brain had just concocted the image of Miles pushing him against the back stage wall when the man himself entered the room. He sat in front of him and Tristan straightened him so he could play it cool. His feelings for Miles had resurfaced during the summer when Gage stopped texting him and Zoe stopped feigning interest in the rich boy. But despite Miles recent single status, Tristan had to play it cool when he was in front of him. Save the daydreaming for when he was staring at the back of his head.

“Hey Tris,” Miles greeted as he sat. He was flashing that charming smile that made Tristan practically melt. How he could smile like that when it was obvious that Zoe had left him for a girl was lost on Tristan.

“You should audition for West Side Story,” Tristan blurted before he could think of anything intelligent to say. He scolded himself for being so forward and letting his fantasies run wild.

Miles laughed and shook his head. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

“But why not?” Tristan persisted with a furrowed brow. Now he was just curious why not.

“Singing and dancing? Not really my thing,” he said as he glanced to the front of the class to see if their teacher had entered. His eyes returned to Tristan as he waited for some retort. He appeared to have grown used to it during the short amount of time they dated.

“Oh please. _Grace_ is directing it. It’s probably not going to have any dancing,” Tristan remarked, though he didn’t know if Miles realized it was a joke or not. He didn’t laugh, which made Tristan’s chest tighten with anxiety.

Miles shook his head again and turned so he could face Tristan better. “Even for you I wouldn’t,” he told him, his voice not sounding as harsh as his words.

Tristan huffed and sat back in his chair with his arms crossed. The image that he had been so satisfied with was only a small glimmer. He didn’t know why he pegged Miles for the musical guy in the first place. They had dated and he never wanted to watch any of Tristan’s movies. He rarely let him pick the station when listening to the radio in his car. It was no wonder he hated the concept of something that Tristan found so enjoyable.

“Don’t be like that, Tris,” Miles continued, his face looking more exhausted than apologetic.

Tristan sighed. “You would be really good though.”

“Not gonna happen,” the other boy persisted and Tristan’s sigh returned quickly. He tried to think of something that might motivate him to audition. Another grand idea sparked in his head.

“Would you at least come watch me audition? You’ll be a good luck charm.”

Miles was silent for a moment. Tristan didn’t know if he had crossed some sort of line. Their relationship had been odd lately. Miles was so into Zoe and then she left and he wasn’t anymore. The two of them had remained civil and talked so there was that. It was only recently that Tristan’s feelings towards him started to reignite. He felt like he was treading on dangerous waters with the threat of drowning almost imminent.

 “I guess I could do that,” Miles gave in. Tristan let out a breath of relief, but covered it with a smile.

“Great. I can’t wait,” he enthused, still shocked by Miles’ answer. He wanted to add something but chose against it. If he said anything more he would seem desperate and that was the last thing he wanted to do. Even as Miles winked at him and turned he stayed silent. After all, he hadn’t completely accepted that that exchange had really happened or if it was his overactive imagination again.

\-----

Jose was not a big fan of Zig and Tiny having girls over after school when he was still at work. Zig, however, was a fan of breaking that rule when it came to Maya. Especially when Tiny had to stay after school for detention. It was then that he and Maya were truly alone, seeing that her mother was not exactly keen on him being there when she wasn’t.

He opened Jose’s big front door and allowed his girlfriend in. She kicked her shoes off and he did the same. The second the door was fully closed he had his arms around her waist and was dragging her into a deep kiss. The kiss that had been so rudely interrupted that morning.

Maya kissed back and only pulled away when she decided she had something to say. “Jose’s coming home late tonight, right?”

“I promise,” Zig reassured her, attaching his lips to her jaw while she thought. She seemed to be nervous that the house’s owner would pop in any time. Zig, however, had made sure that he was going to be out late before he invited Maya over. He wasn’t stupid enough to get himself kicked out of yet another home. He also had no desire to jeopardize Tiny’s place in the home as well.

“Okay, okay,” Maya gave in, bringing their lips back together. They exchanged quick, yet somehow romantic kisses before she spoke again. “We still have to be quick.”

Despite their rather egregious first sexual encounter, both of them were getting really good at sex. That was what Zig thought at least. Maya was getting more comfortable and he felt like less of a bumbling idiot. They were not experts by any means but it was really fun now. The nerves would always be there but now there was a sense of ease. They were no longer trying to impress each other but rather learning to please both the other and themselves.

Their kisses grew more urgent and Zig directed them towards the couch. Maya fell onto it first and Zig toppled on top of her. After a brief moment getting into positions that were relatively comfortable, they returned to their heavy, desperate kisses. Zig’s hands found Maya’s breasts and she didn’t push him away. It was a silent victory for him as their bodies collided in a stream of passionate movements.

It was all thrashing hips and tongue from there on out. The couch was probably the most uncomfortable place to have sex, which Zig concluded when his body ached with cramps and scratches that weren’t from Maya’s nails when they had finished. He rolled off of her and was left sitting on the ground beside the couch completely naked.

The blonde was still catching her breath as Zig drew patterns on her thigh with his finger. She looked down at him with the most loving eyes he had seen from anyone. He reached up and grabbed her chin, which was the highest thing he could reach.

“I love you,” he whispered, placing a kiss on her knee. She ran her fingers through his hair with a small chuckle.

“I love you too.”

There was a long moment of silence as Maya closed her eyes in a contemplative look. Zig stood from his spot on the floor, not without kissing her thigh quickly. He helped her up from the couch and they redressed as quickly as they could. When they were fully clothed again, they stood face to face. Maya looked up at him with her genuine smile and he returned her gaze.

“I should go,” Maya announced. She felt bad just popping in to have sex and then leave. However, her mother would be home soon and Jose was apt to arrive at any minute. So things were easier if she just went home.

“Yeah, yeah…” Zig agreed, though he didn’t want her to go. He cupped her cheek and pulled her into a long kiss. They broke apart after a few beats and Maya fisted his shirt.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” she asked, as though it was still a question. Zig nodded and kissed her forehead. She pulled away after yet another long silent moment. With a final wave, she slipped her shoes back on and left the house.

Zig was left to rearrange the pillows on the couch. He flopped down on it after he was finished and opened his backpack. He surprised himself by grabbing the sheet music Maya had printed for him instead of his messy schoolwork folder.

“Something’s Coming?” he whispered allowed, looking at the lyrics. He gave a small smile and opened up YouTube on his phone so he could get a listen to what he would be singing.

\-----

Zoe sat on the stage with her legs hanging off the side, kicking back and forth. Grace said she had to make a quick stop in the auditorium before she walked her home. She wanted to make some rough sketches of the stage and Zoe agreed to come with her. Unfortunately, these sketches were taking longer than she originally anticipated and she was starting to eye the clock precariously. She didn’t want to be demanding but she wanted to get home sometime that century. She was about five minutes away from walking herself home.

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to,” Grace pointed out from her seat in the audience. Her feet were up on the chairs that lined the room. It wasn’t really much of an auditorium. It was more like a gym with a stage and folding chairs. They hadn’t bothered to take the chairs down after Captain Who and Zoe noted that Grace was clearly benefitting from that.

Zoe tried to find a reason besides the sappy ‘I’m here because I want to be around you’ explanation. It was difficult to come up with anything else. She wanted to be honest to Grace, but she knew that if she was too honest mockery was to come. She loved that about Grace; she was never serious enough for Zoe, who happened to have a major flair for the dramatic.

“I don’t like walking home alone,” she lied, jumping down from the stage. She strolled down the aisle of chairs before deciding on the one in front of Grace. The other girl brought her feet down so Zoe could turn to face her.

Grace rolled her eyes and closed her notebook. “I’m done anyway. Get up,” she said while tucking her notebook into her backpack. She slung it around her shoulders and grabbed Zoe by the waist when the other stood up.

Zoe allowed herself to be pulled forward, though the chair between them was preventing Grace from pulling her flush against her chest. Instead Zoe grabbed her purse and fixed it over her shoulder. She wanted to lean in and place a kiss on Grace’s lips more than anything. They were at school though. Any PDA at school was strictly banned between the two of them. Zoe was too nervous to ruin what they had with outing themselves. She was thrilled that Grace was able to respect that.

Their eyes met for a brief second and Grace reached up to push a strand of hair behind her ear. Zoe looked down, blushing. Grace released her waist and walked around the row of chairs so she was standing beside her. She slipped her hand into the other girl’s.

“Everyone’s gone. I’ll walk you home, alright?” she asked, though it sounded more like a command. Zoe nodded and the pair left the auditorium, Grace flicking off the lights as they left.

They left the school and walked to Zoe’s house. It was a bit out of the way from Grace’s house and for that Zoe felt bad. They had been doing this subconsciously since the beginning of school until it became a habit. That was why Zoe feared not making it into the musical. Grace would be after school which meant no after school walks. It was their only time they got to be truly together. It was selfish and a little silly, but Zoe felt it nonetheless.

They made it to the brunette’s house and stopped in front of the door. Their hands had been linked since they left the school and Zoe looked down at them. It was almost like they were a normal couple. Long walks and romantic handholding. If she didn’t think of school, she could think that they were really together. They didn’t have anything to hide and she wasn’t afraid of people finding out.

“Do you want to come inside?” Zoe offered, figuring that her mom had not come home yet. Grace looked up at the large house and shook her head.

“Nah, I’m good,” she answered simply.

Zoe nodded, though she was telling herself not to frown. She was so afraid that Grace would grow tired of all this sneaking around and would leave her. They weren’t even officially together and Zoe didn’t want their relationship to end before it started. She didn’t know how to voice these concerns to Grace properly.

She grabbed Grace’s cheeks and pulled her into a long kiss. Grace seemed to be shocked at first but eased into it. They kissed for a few moments until Zoe pulled away shyly.

“I should go inside…” she whispered and the other girl nodded. Grace held Zoe’s chin in a way that felt too gentle for her. She pressed their lips back together for a split second and then retreated.

“See ya, Rivas,” Grace squeezed her hand and walked backwards away from her. Zoe gave a small wave and Grace nodded. She turned and sauntered down the walk. Zoe watched her slowly disappear behind the bushes at the end of the entrance of her house. When she was out of sight, Zoe sighed and turned to unlock the door. She couldn’t allow a smile on her face when she felt so terrible for hiding them from everyone.

\-----

Miles skimmed the Hollingsworth pool with the only blue net, though he wasn’t paying much attention to what he was doing. It was still August so the heat was just beginning to wane. The pool was getting its last days of use before it was covered up for fall and winter. He didn’t like the idea that there was still a week left in August and leafs had already found their way into the peaceful water. He sighed as he shook the sticky leafs off so he could return to his task.

“Are you trying out for West Side Story?” Frankie asked from her place on one of the poolside chaises. She flipped through one of her shitty tabloid magazines, obviously ignoring the homework she had. Miles would comment but he was doing he exact same thing.

He scoffed. “Don’t think so, Franks.”

She looked up from her magazine curiously. She eyed him as he scooped the leafs and bugs out of the pool with what looked like great interest. She was thinking about something, Miles knew that by her face.

“It will be fun though. Even Hunter is doing the sets for it again,” she pointed out. Miles wasn’t completely sure why she was trying to coax him into this. He had already dealt with Tristan doing the same earlier in the day. Why did everyone really want him to do this?

“I’m going to watch Tristan audition. That’s all,” he clarified for her, looking back up from the pool.

Frankie seemed to be contemplating something really interesting after he said that. It was obvious that she was planning on trying out and he hoped she got something. She was still in a rut after everything that went down over the summer and her break up with Winston. He didn’t want to be sappy and tell her that though. He had to remain the off-standish older brother.

“Are you two getting back together?” she asked, instead of mentioning the play again. Miles smirked. He didn’t know how he felt about Tristan anymore. Their break-up had been so unfinished. They still talked and nothing seemed to change. There was only the lack of kissing and the like. Did he still like Tristan? He figured that only time would tell.

“I doubt it,” he answered, skimming the pool once again. She made a small huff noise and returned to her magazine. Miles hoped the conversation was over. There was a silence between the pair for a couple beats. After processing, Frankie looked back up at him and he waited for her comment.

“You should have been nicer to him,” is all she said. She closed the magazine and stood up. She didn’t say anything or allow Miles to reply as she walked back into the house. Miles watched her walk inside and sighed.

With everything with his dad, he had pushed everyone away. That included Tristan. Did he miss their relationship? He didn’t really know. He missed having friends for sure. He thought he and Zoe had something, but she had left him for Grace at the beginning of the summer. Everyone else was wary around him. He couldn’t help but wonder if the musical would help him get friends back. That was a fleeting thought before he returned to his obstinate view that it wasn’t for him.

He couldn’t get the lonely feeling out though, especially when he looked up from the pool and saw the emptiness that surrounded him.


	2. The Gentle Sin Is This

**Day 8:**

Grace looked down at the sign-up sheet she had plucked from the bulletin board at the end of the day. There were more names than she had originally planned on seeing. It made her grin as she scanned through it for the names of those she knew. She saw Zoe’s name followed by a tiny heart. The blue-haired girl smirked and clipped the paper onto the clipboard she had tucked underneath her arm.

The auditorium was hers for auditions that afternoon. She walked in and saw that it was still empty. School had just gotten out so all that was left was to wait for the people on the list filter in. She looked up when she heard voices and saw Zig and Maya enter the room hand in hand. Seeing them whisper and be so intimate sparked a new emotion in her: jealously.

It wasn’t that Grace had never been jealous. That would be a lie if she said she hadn’t. However, this was a new form of jealousy. She wanted to be them with Zoe. She wanted to hold her hand and whisper to her in the hallway. It was unbelievably sappy and almost made her gag. She couldn’t deny it though. Her desperation for a relationship with the girl she had been obsessed with for months was growing stronger each day. She felt it in the way her heart would pitter-patter whenever she saw Zoe or kissed her lips in secret. It was a very non-Grace feeling. She decided the best course of action was to repress it and hope it never broke out of its small box.

She turned around in her seat, practically ignoring them until they walked down the second row and sat directly behind her. Maya tapped her shoulder in way that made Grace feel the perk and excitement she was feeling.

“Are you excited?” Maya asked when Grace turned around. She noted that the two still hand their hands locked in a tight hold.

Grace smiled as much as she could without looking too insane. “I guess. I wouldn’t go that far.”

Maya’s face fell with disappointment. Grace wanted to tell her that not everybody was as excited about this as she was. That seemed unnecessarily mean though, so she decided against it. Instead she simply nodded and turned back around to face the stage. It was still relatively bitchy, but she didn’t feel as bad as she would have if she said the former.

The whispering between the couple behind her was growing more and more annoying as she waited for more people to come in. More importantly, she was waiting for Zoe to arrive. It felt like she was the last person as she waded through the crowds and made her way to sit beside Grace. The brunette flashed her thousand watt smile at her, which she would never admit made her heart melt.  

“Big turnout,” she said genuinely. She squeezed the other’s knee supportively. Grace scoped the room out once again and noticed she was right. It must have been one of the best musical audition turnouts Degrassi had in a while. She would like it to be her wonderful personality that attracted them; however, it was most likely brand recognition or Maya’s constant advertising. The reason they were there didn’t really matter. What mattered was that they were there.

Once it felt appropriate to begin, Grace stood. “Let’s get this over with,” she shouted so her voice halted all conversation throughout the auditorium. People began to take their seat as she walked up and hopped up on the stage.

“I guess I’m going to call your name, you’ll do your thing, and leave,” she continued. She glanced at her clipboard and read off the first name she saw. “Arlene Takahashi?” she called out and watched as a small, meek girl stood nervously.

The tiny girl looked out in the audience shyly before she began to sing ‘I Feel Pretty.’ It was the first time Grace heard the song that day and most certainly wouldn’t be the last. She eyed the sheet and saw that she was auditioning for Anybodys. Looking between her and the sheet, she was surprised but it almost looked like a good fit.

It went on like that for a little more than an hour. She looked down at the next name and called it out. “Zoe Rivas?” she looked at the girl beside her, who looked over confidently. She stood and practically skipped up to the stage. She chose ‘Somewhere’ as her song choice. Grace thought it was brave. She listened and all she could think of was her infatuation with the girl. She was the perfect Maria and everyone knew that.

As she was about to transition into the second verse, Grace cut her off. “Thank you,” she said, making a mark on her sheet. Zoe looked utterly baffled by her choice to make her stop. She froze on the stage before Grace waved her off. The Latina exited the stage in a fashion much different than how she had entered. With a scoff and hurt look, she scooped her bag up from beside Grace and marched out of the auditorium without even saying goodbye.

Grace felt a sting in her chest, especially when Maya and Zig made surprised noises behind her. The dark-haired girl put her hand over her heart and sighed. She had to make this up to her sort-of girlfriend. She knew how she could do it and made a split decision as she wrote ‘Maria’ beside Zoe’s name.

\-----

Auditions were already in progress when Miles snuck into the auditorium. He still didn’t really know why he was there. He said it was because he didn’t want to go back on his promise to Tristan, but was that really the truth? There was truth it for sure. What was even truer was that he was still reeling after Frankie’s declaration that he wasn’t nice to Tristan. He wanted to deny it, but here he was. He wanted to prove her wrong and show that he was a nice guy who kept his promises to Tristan.

He sat in the chair closest to the door and looked for Tristan. He was by himself in the front row, which seemed odd. He was almost always attached to either Zoe or Maya. But with further inspection, Miles saw that they were both already sitting with their significant others. He took a steadying breath before standing. He walked down the aisle, feeling as though everyone’s eyes were on him. It was nerve wracking. What if someone assumed he was auditioning? That sounded like a horrible consequence.

He reached the front row and took the seat beside Tristan. “You go yet?” he asked and watched as the other boy jumped from his place in the adjacent chair. He had sheet music and a paper with the part of the script he had to read. Dancing was the next day and Miles hoped he wouldn’t be talked into watching that part of the audition.

“You scared me,” Tristan began with, taking dramatic deep breaths. Miles laughed a little under his breath. Tristan didn’t seem to notice as he continued. “Lucky for you, I haven’t ‘gone’ yet.”

Miles sighed and threw his head back with exhaustion. “I’m here, aren’t I? I didn’t mean to be late, Tris. Give me a break this time.”

“If you don’t want to be here, no one is forcing you to be,” Tristan pointed out in his passive-aggressive voice. Miles knew that voice particularly well.

“I’m sorry,” was all Miles could come up with to say. There was a pause before anyone spoke.

“Fine,” Tristan gave a wave of his hand and looked back down at his sheet music. “I need to be focused anyway.”

Miles didn’t have anything else to say. He knew if he did interject Tristan would shush him. He leaned back in the chair and watched Tristan’s mouth move with the syllables of the music he was mouthing. He hold back the small smile that forced itself onto his lips. When Tristan wasn’t being angry with him, he could really appreciate him. He could really remember that his feelings for him were never fake.

“You’re going to be great,” Miles said in almost a whisper. Tristan looked over at him with surprised eyes.

“You think so?”

Miles nodded and surreptitiously spread his arm over the back of Tristan’s chair. The other sat back and felt the arm around him. His face shifted from nerves to a comfort. He flashed the smile that if you weren’t looking for it you would miss. Miles liked having this effect on him. It took him a few moments to realize it wasn’t because he was manipulating him. It was because he liked to make Tristan happy. He liked making Tristan happy more than anyone he had ever met.

\-----

Zoe kept telling herself not to cry as she made her way to her home. She knew she shouldn’t be so affected by Grace silencing her mid-song. She really wanted this. She knew she deserved it at least. The fact that she and Grace had a relationship didn’t mean she had to be disqualified from a role she felt she was born to play. It was simply unfair and now Grace was treating her like shit on top of it.

When the young girl turned the corner, she saw a congregation of students around one of the benches. She raised her eyebrow and tucked her purse under her arm for good measure. She continued on, trying to go unnoticed. She was not successful as the students all turned to get a good look at her.

They looked like rubber room kids but she had never seen them there before. There was four of them, three being boys and one being a girl. They eyed her with extreme curiosity. Zoe took a deep breath and continued walking only to be stopped by a female voice.

“Rivas!” the girl’s voice echoed. Zoe noted that it was oddly feminine compared to what she looked like. She also knew she should just ignore them and keep walking. She looked back at them quickly and noticed someone she recognized. It was one of Zig’s friends. At least they used to be friends. She sighed and walked towards them.

“Leave me alone, okay?” she demanded, getting a better look at them. She definitely remembered one of them from Zig’s old gang. She thought his name was Rodney or something like that, but she could be mistaken.

The girl in the group spoke again. “We’re just being friendly. You don’t want to be friends with us?”

Zoe rolled her eyes, tightening her arm around her purse. It was time for her to take in the appearance of the girl. She was immediately reminded of Grace, which made her guilty. She shouldn’t even be looking at girls when she didn’t know if she still wanted to be with Grace. But all she could notice was the girl’s blue eyes and short hair. It was so unlike Grace in a way that confused Zoe as to why she was looking.

“I’m not looking for friends. Sorry,” she spat out and turned. She was immediately stopped when she heard them talking behind her.

“Hear that, Dougie?” the girl’s voice continued. “She doesn’t need any friends.”

The voice that must have belonged the Dougie, the third person she didn’t recognized came next. “Only wants people to like her when they give her money.”

Zoe told herself to keep her anger in check. She wanted to turn and punch both of them but she couldn’t. Instead she took deep breaths and continued on. Before she reached the sidewalk again, she heard another new name. This time it was a female name. Tatiana.

The Latina closed her eyes and imagined the girl’s face when she heard the name. That split second made her shake her head. She was still into Grace, no matter how much that unusually pretty girl looked like a Tatiana.

\-----

“You are so Tony,” Maya told Zig as they left the auditorium. She squeezed his hand with enthusiasm as he sighed a little.

“I doubt it,” he returned, stopping outside the auditorium door and leaning against the locker right beside it. Maya gave him a slightly sad look and swung their hands back in forth in an attempt to cheer him up. His audition had been really good except for a certain high note at one point in the song. Maya had tried to give him a confidence boost by clapping a little after it. It didn’t seem to help and Grace cut him off right after.

Maya hugged him and rested her head on his chest. He rubbed her back slowly. She was confident about her audition but didn’t want to seem too much so if he was feeling bad.

“You are definitely going to be Maria,” Zig praised, giving her a light squeeze.

Maya scoffed. “I’m not. A blonde Maria is slightly racist.”

It would only make sense that Zoe would be Maria. She was the only Latina who really had a chance at being her. But Maya knew that she and Grace’s budding relationship might make Grace wary of casting her. Maya personally thought it was an unfair choice; more so than Grace actually casting her.

Maya released Zig and took his hand again. She was still on a high from her positive audition and hoped she could spread it to Zig. He had been really good, but he still didn’t have the confidence he should. She wasn’t sure if there was something she could do to help better him on that front.

“Fine. But you were still good,” Zig complimented, squeezing her hand.

They started to walk down the hallway hand in hand. Maya knew she shouldn’t say anything else about the audition. It seemed that Zig didn’t want to talk about it, despite being as good as Maya thought he was. She looked at her feet, trying to come up with a non-related topic.

“You haven’t talked a lot about if you want to go back to your parent’s house,” she blurted out. It was a touchy subject and she immediately felt bad about bringing it up. Zig was silent for a few moments and she took a deep breath of regret.

“I don’t think my mom will ever want me back,” he admitted as they left the school. Maya frowned. Her mom was always supportive and forgiving. She was still surprised that Zig’s mother didn’t welcome him back immediately with open arms. Maybe having her mother spoiled her and that made her feel guilty.

They walked in silence while Maya tried to come up with something to say. The air between them was heavy with the weight of Zig’s words. What could one say to that? That everything would be okay? So far for Zig everything hadn’t been okay.

“She’ll come around. I promise,” Maya said while trying to sound as happy as she could. Things had started out so uplifting and happy when they left the auditorium and now that they were nearing her house a sour mood had taken over.

Zig nodded a sad nod. “Jose’s been talking to her. He says it’s going well but I don’t know.”

They stopped in front of Maya’s front door and she grabbed both of his hands. “Well, there is one lady who always wants to you with her.”

Zig smiled that shy smile that reminded Maya of when they first met in grade nine. He leaned down and kissed her lips softly. When they parted, he moved to her forehead and kept them there for a few seconds.

“I love you,” Zig said when he pulled away from her forehead. Maya nodded.

“I know,” she said with a devious smile. Zig shook his head and brought their lips together in another kiss. They pulled away after a few beats. With a tiny wave, Maya slipped into the house.

She sighed and walked over to the couch. After all of that, a nap seemed like a really good idea. She shrugged off her backpack and brought her feet up on the couch with her. She let out another satisfying sigh and closed her eyes, nodding off almost instantly.

\-----

Tristan looked out the window from the passenger seat of Miles’ car. He had insisted that he could walk but Miles was even more insistent. He didn’t know what to call what was happening between them. He had shown up to the audition and even though Tristan was angry at first, one charming smile and all was forgiven. Now he was in his car. It was endearing that Miles still remembered the route to get to his house.

“You were really good,” Miles said casually as he took another turn that led them closer to Tristan’s house. How could this boy have such a strong hold on him that a bare minimum compliment had his heart fluttering?

“I don’t understand why you didn’t audition. You would have been great,” Tristan returned, pulling his sunglasses down so he could get a really good look at him. Miles quirked the amused grin he got whenever someone said something he found ridiculous. Tristan huffed a little and sat back in his seat, slipping his sunglasses back up his nose.

“Because I’m not a singer, actor, or dancer, Tris,” Miles answered as if it were the simplest answer in the world.

Tristan chuckled. “From what I remember, you really like singing with the radio.”

Instinctively, Miles reached down and turned the radio dial up a little. Miles always had that habit. He was always touching the dials on the dashboard while he was driving. It drove Tristan crazy to no end. It was one of the tiny things they would argue about when they were together. It was so minuscule and silly, yet Tristan wondered if that was something that led to their fallout.

“That’s different,” Miles persisted.

Tristan rolled his eyes. “Not much. This is just in public and not in front of me.”

“Exactly,” Miles nodded. “Public is so much worse.”

Tristan didn’t know how to argue that point. It was harder to face people as a whole than one person. He never considered Miles the shy type though. He always seemed to want to challenge what people thought of him. So why was singing and dancing so hard for him? It almost made Tristan frown.

Instead of being sad, however, he just turned the radio station up more. He looked over at Miles, whose face bled with curiosity. After a moment of hesitation, Tristan started to sing the song out loud. Miles chuckled and shook his head.

“I’m not going to do it,” he insisted.

Tristan continued singing, his throat burning with the loudness of his singing. He continued as they drove down the roads that led to his block. It took only minutes before Miles finally joined in.

It was quiet at first but as the chorus of the song playing blasted, he finally joined Tristan in intensity. Between laughter and singing, Tristan started to regain that feeling with Miles he thought he had lost.

\-----

Dusk fell over Toronto and Zig was starting to feel a bit of a chill as he stood outside. He had picked up smoking as a new hobby some point during the summer. He hated himself for doing it and was sure Maya would find out soon. But there he stood outside with a cigarette between his fingers that he swore was the last one.

The slight breeze was nice against his skin as he took a long drag from it. He closed his eyes to search through what happened during the say. He couldn’t help but think about the musical. He was excited for it. He was also hoping that Maya would be joining him it. Even if she wasn’t Maria, which he recognized was relatively racist if she was, he still wanted to be with her. It felt clingy and the opposite of what he was, but he still couldn’t help it.

His immersing thoughts were shattered when he heard a voice he hadn’t heard it a long time.

“Heard you got our boy Vince locked up,” the voice said. Zig sighed. He thought he had heard the last of that after Captain Who. All summer he hadn’t been targeted and things were pretty good. Of course when things were going well, they had to be broken.

“Rodney,” was all he said, opening his eyes and looking at the boy in question.

“In the flesh,” Rodney joked.

“What? You here to make me pay or some shit?” Zig asked with an eyebrow raised. Rodney smirked and shook his head.

“That would be too easy. Besides, I’ve got something else for you.”

Zig scoffed and brought his cigarette back up to his lips. “I’m out,” he mumbled around it, puffing out smoke when he had finished.

“See, I knew you’d say that. But here’s the thing: Vince was moving a lot of product before he was…taken away. Our boss is looking for the money and that’s our problem. There is none because you got him locked up.”

Zig flicked the ash from his cigarette. He knew it couldn’t be over when he got Vince arrested. It was never over. No matter how much Jose or the police covered him, he wasn’t out. Especially with the knowledge that Vince’s guys would be coming after him.

“I don’t know what you want, man,” he shrugged. Rodney’s face contorted into one of temporary confusion and then back to confidence.

“Oh, you think we’re gonna go after you? Nah. We have something else,” he paused for a moment. Zig could only assume for dramatic effect. “You’re gonna move it for us.”

Zig laughed. “I’m not gonna do that for you and you know that.”

Rodney erupted with laughter the second the sentence left Zig’s lips. He was practically slapping his knee and Zig was confused. Once the laughter had subsided, Rodney spoke again.

“You’re acting like you have a choice,” he said as he lifted his shirt to expose the gun he had in his pocket. Zig remembered all of the threats from the end of the year before. To him and Maya. He didn’t know why he was surprised. They would turn on him sooner or later. Now he was just scared for his girlfriend.

“Fine,” he answered sternly. Rodney gave a knowing nod.

“You made the right choice,” he said as he reached into his backpack. He tossed a plastic bundle to him that Zig just barely caught. Rodney zipped up his backpack and slung it over one shoulder. “You have one week. After that, they’re coming after you.”

Zig didn’t get to say anything else before the other boy was walking off. He looked down at the plastic in his hand. One week. How was he going to move all of this in a week?

He sighed and tossed his cigarette on the ground. Stomping it out, he retreated into the house with the drugs hidden behind his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are OCs and I hate myself for it.


	3. My Unworthiest Hand

**Day 10:**

Tristan could almost hear his heart beating out of his chest as he walked down the hallway at the end of school. Grace had posted the West Side Story cast list at the end of the day and he was anxious to read it. He thought he had done rather well at his audition. His song was perfect and his dancing had been on point. But still, his pulse leapt underneath his skin as he inched closer to the telling piece of paper hung on the bulletin board.

People were crowded around it when he got there. He could hear people who were making elated noises or being comforted by friends. That only got his mind jumping to the worst conclusions. He wanted this so badly. He deserved it. He felt like nothing had really been going for him lately and this could turn things around.

He was finally able to push through the crowd and got a good view of the list. He scanned through it until he found his name. He was surprised, seeing it so high on the list. He looked over at the character beside it. He was shocked to see the name Riff.

How had he gotten Riff? He was the leader of the Jets. He was tough and everything Tristan was not. He was relieved he had gotten in but was now worried for another reason. How was he going to pull Riff off? He wasn’t a badass and he sure wasn’t the type of guy his character was. He didn’t know if his acting was really that good.

Tristan returned his eyes to the list to see who else was playing. Zig was Tony and Zoe was Maria. Winston had secured Bernardo and Frankie got Anita. Tristan had to hold back a bit of laughter at reading that. What really surprised Tristan was how low on the list Maya’s name was. He found it and looked for the name beside it. ‘Somewhere’ soloist, it read.

He didn’t really know how Maya would feel about that. It was one of the biggest songs in the show, but it meant she was only on the stage for one scene. This had been her baby and Grace had only given her a small role. That was sure to break her heart. He didn’t want to be there when the news was finally broken to her.

Tristan stepped back from the list and turned towards the door to leave. He would have to start practicing as soon as possible. Riff had two solo numbers and one of them was pretty well known. He was afraid he would mess that up and ruin everything. It made his anxiety return with a vengeance. He stopped by the doors and took some deep breaths. He wasn’t having a panic attack. He really wasn’t.

He exited the building and gripped the bench at the end of the steps once he reached it. He tried to even out his breath but it really didn’t seem to be working. When his legs started to feel like jello, he sat down on the bench and took some more deep breaths.

In the middle of his deep breathing exercises, a voice broke through his concentration. “Panic attack?” it asked. It belonged to a boy and Tristan opened his eyes to see who it was. He had seen him around school but never went anywhere near him. He racked his brain for his name. Douglas? He nodded. That was it. But he was also sure he had heard him referred to as Dougie.

“Can I help you?” Tristan asked, trying to sound as calm and collected as possible. Even to himself it sounded unbelievably forced.

“I can help you,” Dougie replied, sitting down beside him and leaning back against the back of the bench. Tristan crossed his arms over his chest in an attempt to block any threat.

“I doubt that,” he retorted, scooting away from him. The other boy chuckled and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a baggie that had five pills in it. Tristan looked with horrified expression. “Drugs? You’re offering me drugs?”

Dougie smirked. “I’m trying to help with that panic you’re having. Oxy. Free sample,” he said, setting down the baggie beside Tristan.

Tristan looked down at it with distaste. “I don’t want your drugs.”

“Like I said, free sample. Keep them,” Dougie shrugged as he stood up from the bench. He shoved his hands into his pocket. “If you need more, you’ll know where to find me.”

He walked away and Tristan watched him leave. Once he was out of eyesight, Tristan picked up the bag and wrinkled his nose at it. He had heard the horror stories that surrounded Oxycodone and they disgusted him. Standing up, he walked over to the trash can.

As he stood in front of it, he went to throw them out, but hesitated. He hated himself but he hesitated. Would they really settle his anxiety? Could one really hurt? He opened the bag and pulled one of the pills out. He told himself it was an experiment. He would throw them out right away.

With a sigh, Tristan placed one on his tongue and swallowed it. He gulped and shoved the remaining pills into his pocket.

\-----

Zoe was shocked when she saw that her name was the second on the cast list. She had convinced herself that she would get a minor role at best. But she was Maria and that made her happier than she had been in a while. She had dreamed of being Maria since she had first heard West Side Story when she was young. And even though it was a silly high school musical, she was still going to be one of her dream roles.

“You should start working on your high notes,” Grace’s voice broke through her thoughts. It immediately made Zoe feel guilty. Grace did this thing for her and she had been thinking about another girl for the past two days. She wasn’t even cheating but she definitely felt like a cheater.

“Thank you,” she said, turning around and walking to her. She took Grace’s hand and the blue-haired girl smiled her half-smile that you could miss if you weren’t looking for it.

“You were the best one there. Unlike the rest of the tone-deaf toads,” she shrugged, as though it was obvious. Grace was never one for overt compliments after all.

Zoe gave her hand a tight squeeze. “I’m sorry for being so…bitchy.”

“You’re forgiven,” Grace said with a smile. “I’m sorry that I cut you off.”

The Latina looked both ways in the hall. She had been one of the last people to check out the list so the majority of people had left. Once the coast was clear, she leaned in and placed a kiss on Grace’s cheek.

“Can we stop fighting now?” she asked, taking a hold of Grace’s other hand. The other nodded and took her turn to kiss the side of Zoe’s mouth. Zoe closed her eyes and sighed. She was quickly being reminded that she really liked Grace. She understood her and was the best thing to happen to her in months. No other girl could add up to her.

“This is going to sound clingy and sappy, but do you wanna go to my place?” Grace asked, trying to keep her voice cold and detatched.

“I would love to,” Zoe said with a peppy swivel of her hips. Grace chuckled and rolled her eyes.

She released one of Zoe’s hand and turned them so they were facing the door. “C’mon loser,” she joked and the two left the building.

Zoe was so wrapped up in her and Grace’s conversation that it was only the sight of Tatiana looking at her from her and her friend’s bench that took her out of the blissful moment she was sharing with the girl she liked. When the blue-eyed girl winked at her, Zoe’s heart skipped a beat.

‘You’re with Grace,’ she told herself. She looked down as fast as she could so she wouldn’t have to see Tatiana’s satisfied smirk.

\-----

Zig stood outside the school, glancing inside his backpack. The drugs Rodney had given him the day before were still in there and he hadn’t sold any. It was hard to push MDMA at school, but where else would he go? He was out of the gang scene and blacklisted by all his old contacts. After you got one of your own thrown in jail, not many people wanted to be around you. The days were ticking by however and he only had 5 more to move more drugs than he had seen Vince pull out. Maybe there was interest they were relying on.

He jumped when he felt the weight of another body jump on his back. It wasn’t until he heard Maya’s voice did he relax.

“Congratulations Tony!” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around his neck. He held on below her knees, effectively giving her a piggy-back ride.

He had forgotten to check the cast list after school. He was too focused on Rodney’s demand. Still, when he heard that he had gotten Tony, the first smile of the day graced his lips.

“Thanks,” he said, though it wasn’t as enthusiastic as it should be. He had just gotten the lead in the musical and he wasn’t even excited. He couldn’t be when he said so much to worry about now.

Maya hopped down from his back and spun him around so she could get a good look at him. “You don’t sound too happy. You’re Tony, Zig!” she repeated, shaking his shoulders. Zig laughed and pushed her hands off.

“Alright, alright. I’m excited,” he grinned and this time it was genuine. This was what he wanted when he auditioned. Sure, he had auditioned for Maya’s sake at first but now he was happy. He was good at something. He was really good at something in the eyes of a lot of people.

Maya smiled big and bright and that was enough to lift Zig’s mood considerably. He forgot about the drugs he was carrying in his bag and everything was about her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in for a long kiss.

She pushed him away after a few seconds. “Have you even looked at the list?” she asked, curiously.

Zig shook his head honestly. “I forgot Grace was putting it up today. But I’m gonna believe that I’m Tony.” He pulled her back in but didn’t kiss her this time. She was okay with this and rested a hand on his chest for comfort.

“Well, you are looking at the ‘Somewhere’ soloist,” Maya said, though she didn’t sound as enthusiastic as Zig thought she should have been. It sounded important but he could be mistaken.

“And that’s…bad?” he asked, pushing some of the hair that flown in her face from the wind behind her ear.

She sighed and shrugged half-heartedly. “It’s something, I guess. I really thought I’d be something else but this is good. It’s a good song at least.”

Zig frowned. “Well, if it was up to me you would be the lead, okay?”

There was a silence between them as Maya rose onto her tiptoes and rubbed her nose against Zig’s. It was a silly, small gesture that filled Zig’s chest with so much love. He really loved this girl and couldn’t imagine having her taken away. That was why he had to do what Rodney told him. He couldn’t jeopardize Maya like he had last time.

“Remember that I love you,” Zig told her, cupping her cheek with his free hand. She nodded and leaned into his touch.

“I love you too,” she returned. They kissed once again and he didn’t want to pull away. He wanted to hold Maya close and protect her from harm.

He eventually had to let her go. She pulled away and readjusted her bag over her shoulder. “You ready to go?” she asked. He nodded, looking down at his backpack one more time. He put it over his shoulder and grabbed her hand.

They walked and he paused. “Who’s Maria then?”

Maya laughed a little. “That would be Zoe.”

Zig chuckled with disbelief.

\-----

Miles was thrilled to get out of Degrassi. He had already been there longer than he wanted to. He was in charge of driving Frankie and Hunter home but he was forced to wait while Frankie looked at the cast list for West Side Story. He still believed it was the stupidest thing but it mattered to her so he muscled through. Even Hunter was looking at the list, which was surprising. He knew his brother didn’t audition but he heard a rumor that Arlene had. Miles thought it was sweet that he cared enough to check so he could congratulate his crush.

“I’m Anita!” Frankie practically yelled over the group. Miles was able to pick his sister’s voice out easily when there was a crowd. She was practically jumping up and down, which made Miles laugh under his breath.

A smile that Miles hadn’t seen before moved over Hunter’s face. “Arlene got in,” he almost whispered but Miles could still hear him. He was still wondering if he would ever just ask her out, but that had gotten them into a very uncomfortable sword fight so he wasn’t going to go there.

The twins emerged from the crowd with Lola in tow. She and Frankie had become friends again over the summer. Miles almost completely forgot that he had agreed to give the pink-haired girl a ride home after school. Both girls had grins plastered on their faces while Hunter’s had disappeared.

“I’m Anita,” Frankie repeated, as if Miles couldn’t hear her when she had practically screamed it earlier.

“Rosalia,” Lola said, flashing a perky grin at Frankie. No one had really asked what she got but she seemed to be proud of herself so all Miles could do was nod and smile.

“Great. Can we go now?” Miles asked, shifting from his position against the doorframe into a straight standing position. Frankie nodded, exasperated. She had the face that asked why her brothers were never interested in anything she was.

The four left the school and shuffled into Miles’ car. Lola sat in the passenger seat beside Miles. He started the car and noticed that the radio station was at the same decibel it had been the evening before when Tristan had cranked it. It brought a smile to the face while the other three in the car covered their ears and waited for him to turn it down.

They left the parking lot and Miles glanced in Lola’s direction quickly. “Where are we dropping you off at?” he asked, glancing at Frankie and Hunter through the rear-view mirror.

“My parent’s restaurant,” she answered in the perky voice that she always had. Miles nodded and drove in the direction of Lola’s Cantina.  

The two girls in the car began chatting away about the musical. They would be singing solos in a song together and that seemed to absolutely thrill them. All Miles could think about was whether or not Tristan got in. He must have, but what role did he get? And more importantly, why did Miles care so much?

They neared Lola’s Cantina and Miles parked when they got there. There was a boy outside, wiping down tables and Miles narrowed his eyes to get a good look at him. Lola stepped out of the car and waved at Frankie. Before Miles drove away, he was able to read the kid’s nametag. ‘Rodney’ it read. Lola walked over and gave him a kiss. Miles sighed and drove away after Frankie shouted goodbye and waved.

“I think it’s nice that Lola’s parents are okay with Lola dating one of their workers,” Frankie commented, leaning back in her seat. Miles looked back at her in the window. He felt like a gossip just thinking about how he didn’t know Lola was dating anyone. It made him feel like he had spent too much time with Tristan recently.

The Hollingsworth children drove home from there and the only other thing Miles heard was Frankie telling Hunter to tell Arlene ‘congrats’ about getting Anybodys.

\-----

Maya invited Zig into her house when they reached her home. Once they were inside, she retreated right to the kitchen. She had been starving since school had ended and felt absolutely famished. She opened up one of the cupboards and saw a bag of veggie straws that were Katie’s for when she came home. Maya usually hated them, but the second she saw them she was craving them.

After pulling the bag down and opening it, Maya turned to see Zig standing in the kitchen beside the doorframe. He was leaning against it and looking at her with adoration. She bit into one of the straws and smiled as she chewed it.

“You are going to look beautiful up on that stage, you know that?” he asked in words that were so unlike Zig. Maya rolled her eyes and set the bag on the counter.

“Where did you put my boyfriend?” she asked, walking up to him with a mischievous grin. Zig rolled his eyes.

“I was trying to be nice,” he said with a smirk. He stroked her cheek. “Besides, I’m trying to get into character. Tony is one of those sappy guys.”

Maya laughed and put her hand on top of his. “You’re right. I don’t know if you’ll be able to handle it.”

“Oh yeah?” Zig challenged. Maya turned to go back to her chips but Zig caught her by her waist and pulled her back. She laughed and tried to get away fruitlessly. He rocked her back in forth in her arms. “I can be romantic when I want to be.”

Maya put her hand on the back of his neck. “You can be. Sometimes.”

Zig kissed her neck gently. He ran his hands up her sides and then over her stomach. Maya leaned back against him and sighed. His hands moved all over her torso until he reached up to her breasts. She jumped a little at the sensation, which felt incredibly powerful even through her shirt and bra.

“Babe…” she whispered. “My mom’s going to be home soon.”

Zig pulled away and spun her around. “We can take this to your room, right?”

Maya knew she should be afraid of her mother coming home and seeing Zig there. But when he looked at her with those big blue eyes she couldn’t deny him. So instead she nodded and led him to her bedroom.

Zig carried his backpack as he followed her to the room. He threw it onto the floor and pushed Maya against the wall the second they reached the room. “I want you like this,” he whispered, his hands falling to her skirt. Maya laughed and nodded.

It didn’t take long for both of them to finish like that. Maya pulled her panties back up her legs and unbunched her skirt around her waist. Zig pulled his pants back on and they walked over to the bed. Maya’s foot hit Zig’s backpack on the way down. Neither noticed it and they fell onto the bed cuddling. They didn’t notice that Zig’s backpack was still open and the plastic bundle inside slid underneath Maya’s bed.

\-----

“Thank you!” Zoe shouted as Grace pushed her against the wall of her house. Grace attached her lips to Zoe’s neck as the other girl continued to shout ‘thank you.’ She didn’t know how they ended up like this. All she knew was that Grace told her that she should thank her and then it escalated. They barely made it through Grace’s front door before they were practically attached.

Grace brought their lips back together in a long kiss that she didn’t want to break. It didn’t look like Zoe wanted to either so they stayed like that until breathing was no longer an option. They took deep breaths and looked each other in the eyes. There was a brief silence between them and they laughed shyly once the silence became too much.

“Do you wanna go to my room?” Grace asked in her way that made it sound like more of a command. Zoe nodded and they were practically racing to her room.

They crawled onto the bed when they reached the room and knelt facing each other. Their lips met again and their hands started to explore everywhere. They hadn’t done anything like this and it was all new. Grace hadn’t been with a girl either, though she didn’t want to tell Zoe that. She had to appear more experienced for the girl to trust her.

Zoe was the one to push Grace down onto the mattress. Grace’s hands instinctively fell to the small of her back as their kiss resumed. It was long and felt more like an extension of their own bodies than a kiss. Grace rubbed Zoe’s back but switched to raking her nails up and down after a while.

“Grab my ass,” Zoe told her. Grace was shocked by the forwardness but she listened to her instructions. She groped her ass and laughed into the brunette’s mouth.

“Demanding, Rivas,” Grace mumbled against her mouth. Zoe didn’t dignify her with a response and instead brought their lips back together. Their kisses changed from long kisses to messy pecks. Zoe tangled her hands in Grace’s hair.

Zoe was the first to go down on Grace. She was shy about it, taking her time and looking up nervously whenever she was unsure. Still, Grace unraveled quickly. She ended up coming so hard that she thought she might black out.

When they switched, Zoe took longer to get off. Grace couldn’t help but look up and watch Zoe the whole time. She was beautiful when she was disheveled and panting. She did get off and Grace admired her the whole time.

They finished and Zoe rested her head on Grace’s chest. Grace wrapped her arms around her and held her close to her body. This was the closest she had ever felt to someone. She wasn’t about to reveal that to the girl she was holding but it made her heart tighten in her chest.

“Thank you,” Zoe whispered against her breast, kissing it gently. Grace rubbed her back and looked down.

“You don’t have to thank me,” she told her. She kissed the top of her head softly. Zoe sat up a little so she was looking to the girl’s eyes.

“I’m not thanking you for the musical. I’m thanking you for that. You make me feel…like me. More than anyone has before,” Zoe revealed, her voice soft. Grace caressed her cheek gently and smiled a soft smile.

“Well, I’m not about to get all sappy, but thank you too,” Grace whispered and kissed the Latina’s nose. Zoe tucked her head into the juncture between Grace’s shoulder and jaw. There was a moment of silence between them as they both basked in the afterglow of their intimacy.

Zoe finally broke it by laughing. “Also…thank you for making me Maria.”

Grace shook her head. “You’re an idiot,” she teased. They laughed and Grace kissed Zoe’s temple lovingly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the sex scenes aren't that vivid but I would be willing to write the explicit rated versions separately if people wanted it. I don't really want to make this fic explicit rated.


	4. Lest Faith Turn To Despair

**Day 15:**

The auditorium was filled with the students who had been cast in the musical. It was their first rehearsal and Zoe made sure to get a front row seat. Grace stood on the stage confidently and the Latina couldn’t help but smile. Her girlfriend had been in a good mood since their first time. ‘Girlfriend,’ Zoe thought. Grace was actually her girlfriend.

Zig slipped into the seat beside Zoe and she looked over at him with curiosity. He seemed to be on edge, especially the way his fingers were tapping against his knee as he sat there. Zoe sat up higher in her seat, clearing her throat in the process.

“So I guess you’re my Tony,” she said, searching for something interesting to say to him. He jumped a little in his seat. It was odd, but Zoe didn’t think too much of it.

Zig sighed and nodded, his face relieved. “I guess I am,” he agreed, though it sounded more like a sigh. Zoe was officially curious of what was bothering him but it really wasn’t her place to ask.

Instead of mentioning it, she let out an awkward laugh. “You know what that means?”

He raised his eyebrow. He seemed to think she was being serious and she just laughed.

“I can help you learn to kiss Maya right,” she said. He shook his head and chuckled a little. She hadn’t paid much attention to Zig after their brief flirtation; however, she had noticed he hadn’t been smiling much lately. Even when he sat at lunch with Maya or was talking to Grace. He always looked distant and worried. Like someone was going to pop up and get him.

They laughed together before falling into companionable silence. It was only a few minutes before Grace took a deep breath and started talking.

“Alright, assholes. This is West Side Story,” she began and Zoe looked up at her with admiration. Grace looked down at her feet while she thought of something else to say. Zoe sent her good vibes with her mind, though the girl wasn’t actually looking at her.

Grace continued. “So we’re just gonna go through our first read-through, songs included. If you don’t know, that means you need to look it up. You can all get out of here when it’s over, alright?” 

She passed out scripts and Zoe took one from her, their hands meeting. “You’re doing well,” she whispered, but Grace didn’t really recognize it openly. She did smile softly and Zoe took that as acknowledgement.

Once everyone had received their scripts, she returned to the stage. Zoe opened hers up and leafed through until she found Maria’s first lines. There was no singing but it was just she, Anita, Chino, and Bernardo. She looked around the auditorium to find Frankie first, then Winston. They were on separate sides, seeing that they hadn’t completely gotten over their feud. She instantly knew they would be a bitch to work with for the weeks to come.

They progressed through the read-through at an even pace. Some parts dragged for Zoe and she flipped through the script to find her lines. She looked over at Zig during the scenes between them. She feared they would clash but they actually sounded pretty good together. It made her even more optimistic for how the musical was going to go.

When the rehearsal had ended, Grace told them they could all go home. Zoe shoved the script into her backpack. Her girlfriend told her that she would have to stay late to do some work on the stage. It would feel weird walking home alone but she figured it would just be like old times.

She was leaving the auditorium when she saw Zig again. A thought filled her head and she jogged over to him. “Hey, you wanna walk me home?” she asked.

Zig looked around, like he was searching for someone. It made Zoe question where Maya might be. She hadn’t seen her all day and maybe that meant she hadn’t come to school. So if Maya wasn’t there, who was he looking for? She didn’t peg Zig for a cheater so he must have been looking for someone important.

He sighed and returned his eyes to Zoe. “Huh?”

“Do you want to walk me home?” she repeated. Zig nodded with realization, as if remembering what she had said.

“Sure. Why not?” he said, casually. Zoe grinned and they left the building through the herd of other cast members. They passed by Miles’ car where Frankie and Lola were talking. They paused their conversation to walk over to Zoe and Zig quickly.

“Zoe!” Frankie said, stopping her short sprint. Zoe turned to look at them while inquisitively.

“We’re having a post rehearsal party at my parent’s restaurant,” Lola informed them, flashing Zig her sticky-sweet flirtatious smile. He didn’t really seem to notice.

Zoe looked up at him and snapped to get his attention. “You wanna go?” she asked.

He nodded. “Sure. Let’s do it.”

The two girls smiled wide and Lola did a little clap. “Awesome!” she said, excited. “Miles is driving us but I don’t think there’s enough room in the car.”

“We’ll just walk there,” Zoe informed them. Zig nodded in agreement. The group parted with quick goodbyes. Zoe and Zig continued down the sidewalk towards Lola’s Cantina.

“Are you okay?” Zoe asked as they ventured further. He looked down at her with fearful eyes. She had never seen him look scared and it created unrest within her. Seeing someone like Zig upset was something she didn’t know how to deal with.

“I lost some product I was moving,” he admitted. It took Zoe a second to figure out what he was saying. When she understood, she looked at him with disgust.

“You’re doing that shit again?” she asked with more exasperation than anger.

“I don’t want to!” he retorted, looking around to see if anyone was listening to their conversation. There was no one around them, but his shoulders remained tense.

“Then why are you selling again?”

He heaved another deep sigh that took over his whole body. “I got Vince locked up and they’re looking for payment. They’ll hurt Maya if I don’t do this. But I lost it and I have two days or I’m fucked.”

Zoe didn’t want to get back into this. With Zig, nothing was easy. That was why she was too hesitant to be in a real relationship with him. Right when this shit was over, it came back with a vengeance. She just hoped Maya didn’t get caught in the crossfire this time.

“How much do you need?” she asked with a sigh of her own.

“Ten grand?” he said in almost a whisper. Zoe’s eyes widened.

“How did they expect you to move that much in a week?” she asked, skeptically.

Zig shook his head. “They gave me half a kilo. They want me dead and this gave them a reason.”

There was a silence between them as they continued to walk. Zoe didn’t have anything else to say. She was scared for him and scared for Maya. There was no way Zig could possibly make that much money in two days. She felt like she had to do something but remained stuck. Zig and Maya were in trouble and she was completely powerless to help them.

They reached Lola’s Cantina and it was full with the cast members. Zoe looked up at Zig, who still looked stressed. “Let’s just go in and act normal. I’ll try to think of something, okay?”

Zig nodded and they walked into the building. Everyone was enjoying themselves but Zoe still felt scared for Zig and now herself. When she felt someone tap her shoulder she jumped. She turned and saw Tatiana smiling at her with a wide grin.

“Hey there princess.”

\-----

Maya starting feelng ill the night before. Her stomach was churning and all she wanted was to crawl under her blanket. Her mom brought her some peppermint tea before she went to bed but it was no help. She fell asleep eventually and woke up feeling even sicker. After complaining to her mom, she called her in at school and told her to stay in bed. She did just that, falling asleep the second her head hit the pillow.

It was noon by the time she woke. She had texts from Zig saying he missed her and one from Grace saying it was cool that she missed rehearsal. Maya didn’t know why she had to get the flu right before rehearsals started. This was her musical and she was already missing it. Hopefully this was just a twenty-four hour thing and would blow over by the next morning.

She laid back on her bed and looked at the ceiling. She didn’t have a fever like she thought she might. When she closed her eyes again, she fell into something that wasn’t exactly sleep. She didn’t snap out until she had rolled off her bed and hit the floor with a hard thud.

“Oof!” Maya yelled, rubbing her head. She moved her blanket, which was still wrapped around her. As she moved it, she saw something underneath her bed. It was plastic and had two rubber bands tied around it. She extended her arm forward and grabbed it. It was a bit heavier than she thought it would be and figured there was something inside it.

She started to remove the rubber bands and the plastic rolled open. Baggies filled with pills fell out. Maya’s eyes widened and she sifted through the bags. There were thousands of dollars worth of drugs just lying on her floor. She took a deep breath and knelt with shock.

She wanted to text Zig but she was scared. What if these were his drugs? What if he was back into the gang scene? He had been doing so good recently it seemed almost impossible. It must’ve been a mistake. Maybe someone had slipped them into her backpack. They could have slid out and under her bed on accident. That had to be it. There was no way Zig was back into dealing again.

Maya looked around as if someone was spying on her. She pushed all of the drugs back into the package and rolled it up like she found it. She was about to roll it under her bed when she hesitated. She couldn’t just have drugs stashed under her bed. If she knew one thing, it was that if this went missing someone was going to pay. And if these were Zig’s, that meant he would get hurt.

She was in a blind panic as she held the plastic in her hand. This was an actual life or death situation. She had to accept the idea that she needed to help someone out. If they were slipped into her bag, they wanted her to get hit because of it. What would happen if someone tried to find her and saw all their money just lying there? She needed to do something. But what could she do?

Maya paced her room, all of her stomach pain completely forgotten. She debated what she should do. She thought and thought for hours, too scared to text Zig and ask if they were his. She finally realized she didn’t want to hear him say they were his. She didn’t want to know that he was back into this life when they had all worked so hard to get him out. It would feel like everything was for nothing and that he was keeping secrets all over again.

If it was Zig’s, she especially had to help him. She didn’t want someone looking for him. She didn’t even want to imagine what would happen if they got a hold of him. It was up to her. She had to be the hero and fix this for him. He had saved her more than once. Now she had to save him.

A voice in the back of her head was telling her to sell them.  She could figure out who Zig would have sold them to. It wasn’t impossible. After all, she was an unassuming blonde girl. No one would expect that she was a drug dealer. It looked easy enough. She would do it until she got all the money. When that happened, she would give it to Zig and they could leave all of this behind them.

\-----

Zig feared for Zoe as Tatiana drug her away. He knew Tatiana had a history with the gang and was overall bad news. But Zoe gave him a look that said they would talk later and that she trusted the other girl. He watched as they disappeared into the crowd. When he couldn’t see them anymore, his sense of panic returned. He needed to find a way to come up with ten grand in two days. It was absolutely impossible and soon Rodney would come after him.

The music in the cantina was blaring and people’s voices were echoing in his head. The room was spinning and he needed to get out as soon as possible. He left the room and pulled a cigarette out in the process. He took a long drag and looked up to see Lola, Frankie, and Miles getting out of Miles’ car. Rodney was by the car and Lola greeted him with a kiss. Zig barely knew Lola but he was already worried for her. He knew what Rodney was capable of and what came of all his past girlfriends.

Lola, Frankie, and Rodney retreated into the building and Miles stayed outside. Zig didn’t know how else he could get to Lola so he decided to swallow his pride and talk to Miles. He walked over and Miles looked him over inquisitively.

“What do you want?” Miles asked, his voice already irritated. Zig offered him a cigarette as a peace offering. The rich boy looked at it for a skeptical moment and grabbed it once he deemed it safe. Zig lit it and waited for Miles to take a drag before speaking.

“I need to tell you something about Lola,” he said. He was about to continue but Miles waved his hand to cut him off.

“I’m not her keeper,” he said, smoking leaving his nose as he exhaled.

“But she’s friends with Frankie,” Zig pressed. Miles looked up at him with an exhausted expression. It reminded Zig why he didn’t talk to Miles ever. He was an asshole despite when Zig was trying to be nice and help someone out.

Miles took another quick puff of his cigarette. “I’m not her keeper either,” he flicked the ash and looked away as if searching for another conversation that was better than this. Zig groaned, exasperated.

“Just listen to me?” he said like it was a suggestion.

“Fine,” Miles said, gesturing a little and insinuating that he had until he finished his smoke.

“That guy Lola is dating is a bad guy. You should tell Frankie to tell her.”

Miles laughed out loud and dropped his cigarette on the ground, stomping it out. “You are an idiot. I am not talking to my sister about her friend’s relationship.”

“This is important!” Zig insisted.

“Fuck. Off,” Miles told him and walked away from him, disappearing into the cantina. Zig groaned when he was inside and kicked the wall. It seemed that whenever he tried to do something good recently it got fucked up. Now he was still down ten grand and knew that another girl was going to be a victim of Rodney’s wrath. He didn’t want to see what would happen to Lola, since he knew she wouldn’t trust him if he went straight to her.

He took some deep breaths, trying to calm his anger in the way Jose had taught him too. It didn’t seem to be working even though he continued to take extreme deep breaths. While he was doing so, he turned and saw Miles car sitting there. It was just out in the open and he hadn’t seen him lock it. It was new and it must have been expensive. He could easily sell it for ten thousand dollars.

He flicked his cigarette away and with a quick look, walked to Miles’ car.

\-----

Miles entered Lola’s Cantina after the strange exchange with Zig. He didn’t know what was going on with him recently but he honestly didn’t care enough to ask. Now he had to deal with being at a party he didn’t really want to go to. He had asked his sister and Lola to walk to the cantina but Frankie gave him that whiny-pouty face that made him finally give in. All the musical kids were flocked around and he felt completely out of place.

He walked to the back of the room and leaned against the wall. He hoped that he could just sit back there until Frankie was ready to go home. Everyone else seemed to be so invested in their conversations that they wouldn’t even notice him. He was already wishing he would have grabbed another cigarette from Zig.

Miles stood there until his knees were starting to ache. Right when he was going to go find Frankie and tell her to wrap it up, he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He turned and saw Tristan looking at him with the incredibly goofy smile that secretly made Miles love him.

“Hey there,” Tristan said, his voice different than usual. It was more slurred and didn’t have its usual diction. Maybe it was the roar of people that skewed his sense of hearing.

“Hi,” Miles returned. He still didn’t know where he and Tristan stood. They were talking and that talking always seemed to morph into flirting. Did that mean he still had feelings for Tristan? Or maybe it meant that he and Tristan were meant to be friends.

“Why are you here?” Tristan continued, sounding a little more confused than he should be. Miles was starting to get concerned about him, though he decided to remain unaffected. Saying something would sound like he cared too much. Like he wanted to be there for him officially.

“Franks made me drive her here,” he answered. Tristan leaned against the wall and started laughing. It was a disturbing kind of laugh that officially freaked Miles out. Something was definitely wrong with him.

Miles grabbed his shoulder. “Tris, are you feeling okay? You look a little…out of it.”

Tristan turned to him and this time he looked heavily offended. Where that face came from Miles had no clue. He was only looking out for his ex’s well-being and now he looked like he was pissed off. It begged the question of what could Miles do that wouldn’t piss someone off. Even when he was trying to be helpful people still remained angry with him.

“I’m fine,” Tristan said in the voice that clearly meant he wasn’t fine. Miles looked at him closer.

“Are you…high?” he asked, shocked by this discovery. He obviously wasn’t smoking weed since he couldn’t smell it and this seemed like a different kind of high. He wasn’t just relaxed. He was relaxed and looked like he might actually pass out sometime soon.

Tristan’s eyes widened in forced disgust. He was trying to look like he was offended, but Miles could see the lie inside them. He was going to allow the lie. He didn’t want to but he knew that if he tried to fight Tristan even more, it would push him away. For some reason, that was the opposite of what he wanted.

“You’re judging me for being high?” Tristan asked with disbelief. “I knew you were high the entire time we were together and you think you have the right to judge me? I did everything to help you and you wouldn’t let me. I don’t need your help, Miles. And don’t you dare judge me for doing the same thing you did for our entire relationship.”

Miles didn’t get a chance to rebut because Tristan turned on his heel and walked away from him as fast as he could. The rich boy groaned, officially deciding they were leaving. He pushed through the crowd until he found Frankie and Lola talking.

“C’mon Frankie. We’re leaving,” he demanded while grabbing her arm. She was irritated but said a quick goodbye to Lola.

“Hey!” Frankie exclaimed when they were outside. She rubbed her arm where he had been holding her. “I was-“

Miles cut her off. “Where’s my car?”

They both looked around for his car but it was nowhere to be found. Miles remained calm for a brief minute before punching the outside wall so hard he broke the skin on his knuckles.

\-----

Grace had to finish cleaning up the auditorium before she could go to the party at Lola’s Cantina. By the time she walked in the place was crowded and people were talking loudly over each other. She looked around for Zoe, the only person she really got along with at the musical. She would hang out with Maya but she texted her that she was sick so it was up to her to find her girlfriend. With so many people in one place, it was hard to pick out that head of beautiful brown hair.

She was finally able to pick out Zoe from the bright pink shirt she was wearing. Grace approached her but slowed when she saw Zoe talking to another girl. She recognized her almost instantly. She was one of the girls that Zig and Tiny would ‘hang out’ with. She immediately feared for Zoe and walked over there as quickly as she could.

She wrapped her arms around Zoe’s waist, making the brunette jump. Tatiana looked up at Grace and gave her an expression that said she knew who Grace was. “Hey babe,” Grace said, kissing Zoe’s temple.

Zoe looked up at Grace with a look of something that appeared to be guilt. “Hey,” she said in a voice that matched the expression. She grabbed Grace’s hands and looked back down to Tatiana.

“Grace, right?” Tatiana asked, deciding she had to hold her dominance in the conversation. Grace and Tatiana eyed each other careful as if seeing if they could stack up against one another.

“Yeah. Tatiana,” Grace didn’t say her name like a question. Zoe looked between the two girls and cleared her throat.

“You know each other?” she asked, attempting to change the conversation but actually fueling it.

“We’ve met a few times,” Tatiana answered. There was a silence between them and Zoe continued to look between the two girls.

“Well, that’s good. Tati and I were just talking about the musical,” she told Grace. Hearing the nickname made Grace tense with jealousy and then anger. Tatiana was an expert manipulator. She didn’t want to see Zoe fall prey to her.

“Yeah,” Tatiana began. “I think it’s cool that you cast her as the lead even though she’s your girlfriend. Good choice.”

The sarcasm in her voice made Grace clench her fists. She was about to give a scathing retort when Rodney approached her. She knew him very well. They had talked a few times and she thought he was a pretty good guy. That was until she figured out what he was doing to Zig and Tiny. She immediately blacklisted him and hadn’t spoken to him since.

Rodney whispered something into Tatiana’s ear and she straightened up. “I have to go,” she said almost instantly. She didn’t give as much as a goodbye before following him and a kid with glasses into the back room.

“You should stay away from her,” Grace told Zoe as she spun her around in her arms. Zoe put her hands on her upper arms and furrowed her brow.

“What’s your problem with her?” she asked.

Grace sighed a long sigh. “She’s just a bad person. She seems all nice but she’s not. Trust me on this.”

“Well, she’s nice to me. I think we’re going to be friends,” Zoe reasoned.

“But you don’t want to hang out with her, okay?”

Zoe nodded, though she still looked angry. “Fine. I guess I only need pre-approved friends.”

“Don’t be like that, Rivas,” Grace pushed some of the brunette’s hair away from her face. She was so beautiful and all she wanted to do was kiss her then and there. She wanted to keep her safe from what was to come if she remained friends with Tatiana.

“I can handle myself. I promise,” Zoe comforted, giving her the huge puppy eyes that made Grace melt. She took a deep breath, still upset about the whole ordeal. Zoe could handle herself though. She had proved that in the past. She was smart as well. She wouldn’t let Tatiana manipulate her.

Right?

\-----

Tristan left the party the second he finished his fight with Miles. He was coming down from the high he had reached right before he went to rehearsal. He had been taking the pills Dougie gave him. They took his anxiety away and that seemed like a good thing. It also made him feel really good whenever he took them. Like he was completely stress free.

As his high waned, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the baggie. It was completely empty. He had not realized he had used all five pills. He didn’t know how he had done it but he was craving more. He had to find Dougie and get some more. How much money could it be?

Just as he thought of it, he saw Dougie hanging outside Lola’s Cantina. His friend Rodney had been working there since the end of the summer and he heard they liked to hang out there when he worked. Rodney was working that afternoon so there was Dougie. Tristan walked over to him shyly.

“Hey Dougie?” he said as he approached him. Dougie looked at him, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“You back?” he asked, kicking off the wall. “How’d those pills treat you?”

Tristan wasn’t there for the small talk. He cleared his throat. “I want more. How much will it cost?”

Dougie sighed. “For five pills again? One-fifty.”

“One-fifty?”

“One-hundred fifty dollars,” Dougie clarified, his voice sounding mildly irritated. Tristan’s eyes practically bugged out of his head. One-hundred fifty dollars could only afford pills that he had already finished in four days.

“I can’t…I can’t afford that,” he said with distress. Dougie rolled his eyes.

“Well, one-fifty or fuck off,” he looked away, disinterested. Tristan looked around frantically, trying to think of some way to make this up for him. He could get one-fifty by the next day. He would just have to do okay overnight. He didn’t know if he could really handle it, but he had to.

“Fine. Tomorrow. I’ll bring you your money tomorrow,” he promised.

“Well, buy now and it’ll be one-seventy-five,” Dougie insisted. Tristan contemplated. Fifteen dollars. He could get an extra fifteen dollars before school the next day. He nodded and Dougie sighed again.

“We have some stuff in the back. Just wait here,” he told him and Tristan nodded. Dougie walked away and Tristan leaned against the wall.

He didn’t know what he was doing. How had he let this happen to him? He wasn’t an addict; that was for sure. He just enjoyed something to take the edge off his anxiety. At least that’s how he was able to make it sound okay in his head.

 

 


	5. Saints Do Not Move

**Day 16:**

Miles had been searching for his car all night. Someone at the party had to have taken it. He and Frankie walked around the surrounding area to see if someone had it parked in their driveway or in a random parking lot. Frankie eventually told him they needed to go home so he went. He would just have to continue looking for it the next day. He didn’t tell his mom that the car was missing, knowing that she would make a huge deal about it.

He walked to school with his siblings the next morning and they all looked for his car on their way. There was still no sighting as they reached Degrassi and now panic started to set in. If the car was missing, he would have to tell his dad. He wasn’t eighteen yet so the car was still legally his father’s. If there was one thing he wanted to avoid, it was speaking with his father. His best bet was to find it or talk to someone who might have taken it.

Who was at the party who could have stolen his car? He was quickly reminded of him and Zig’s conversation the night before. He said something about Lola’s boyfriend, who had seen the car more than once. It made sense that Rodney could have taken it. He was apparently bad news so he wouldn’t put it above him. What was left was finding him and confronting him about it.

It was pretty easy to find the boy if Miles just watched Lola closely. She would obviously approach him at some point. During lunch, he saw her go to sit with him and was immediately filled with rage. He stood up from his spot at his table and walked over to their table with purpose. He sat down across from Rodney, who looked away from where he was talking to Lola to glance over at Miles.

“Are you some kind of voyeur?” Rodney asked, turning away from Lola to get a good look at Miles, who scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Just give me my car back,” he demanded and watched as Rodney’s face contorted into one of confusion. Miles believed it was fake and saw what Zig meant by saying he would manipulate Lola.

She was the next person to speak up. “What are you talking about Miles?” the candy-haired girl asked, offended by Miles’ accusation against her boyfriend.

“You were standing around my car last night. I leave and it’s gone. What did you do with it?” he continued, staring Rodney down. The other boy eyed him curiously, calculating his retort.

“I didn’t steal your fucking car,” Rodney decided upon. He removed his arm from its place wrapped around Lola’s waist and put his fists on the table. “You should make sure you’re right before telling someone to do something.”

Miles rolled his eyes. “Who else could have stolen it?

“That sounds like a personal problem,” Rodney looked over at Lola and rewrapped his arm around her. She looked at Miles with sympathetic eyes, though she genuinely believed that Rodney had not stolen Miles’ car.

“I’ve heard about you. I know this is your kind of thing,” Miles persisted. Rodney snorted and looked around the cafeteria, as if looking to see if anyone was watching him. That made Miles a bit nervous for what he was going to do to him.

“Listen here,” Rodney began, leaning in so he was almost right in Miles’ face. “You have no right to judge me, rich boy. I didn’t steal your fucking car, okay? You’re just a judgey asshole. Now get out of my face before I make you, alright?”

Miles didn’t say anything else. He wasn’t sure if he believed Rodney or still thought he was a liar. He looked at Lola with concern in his eyes before standing with his tray and leaving the table. He walked away and threw his lunch out. He left the room and went to his locker. Once he had reached it, he slid down the lockers and took a seat on the floor in front of it.

Was he really a judgey asshole like Rodney implied? He didn’t have any concrete evidence that Rodney had taken his car. All he saw what him standing by his car and Zig’s testimony about what the other was like. In hindsight, that didn’t seem like enough to convict someone. So maybe it wasn’t Rodney. Maybe it was just some random person who was hanging out at the cantina the night before. That was humbling thought for Miles. His jumping to conclusions wasn’t effective.

That brought his mind to his exchange with Tristan earlier. He had immediately assumed Tristan was high because he was acting strange. That was when Tristan went off on him for being judgmental as well. He didn’t know if he was really high, even though Tristan made some implications when he yelled at him. Still, he wasn’t completely sure and he had made an assumption. That really did make him an asshole, he concluded.

He decided that he needed to talk to Tristan. If there was no possibility of him apologizing to Rodney, the least he could do was apologize to the other person he had been judging recently. Good thing that he knew where Tristan would be at the end of school so he could talk to him face to face.

\-----

Grace sat on top of her and Maya’s table in the Rubber Room. She balanced her sketchbook on her knees and held her pencil tight in her hand. She still could not believe how dedicated she was to this musical. On her sketchbook was a list of stage directions and rough sketches of the stage where she wanted people to stand. Her sketches and writings took up pages and pages of the book.

She looked up from her sketchbook to see Maya walk into the classroom. Grace shut the book and smiled upon seeing her friend. “Look who’s out of bed. Fucking finally,” she enthused as Maya continued into the room. The blonde smiled at her though Grace wasn’t sure if it was truly genuine.

“Thanks,” Maya said and hugged her. Grace grumbled and shrugged her off.

“No touching,” she pointed at her with fake anger.

Maya laughed and took a seat beside her friend on the table. “Thanks for being so cool with the musical. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for our first rehearsal.”

Grace shrugged. “No big deal. As long as you’re practicing. ‘Somewhere’ is huge, okay?”

Maya nodded in agreement. “Totally. I’m feeling better so practicing is my new hobby.”

“Good,” Grace returned. She looked over at Maya and noticed she he looked a bit disheveled and far away. She was obviously thinking of something else but Grace wasn’t sure if she wanted to ask. If it was something personal, she didn’t want to bring it. Especially knowing how Maya got about those types of things.

The blonde rested her head on Grace’s shoulder and she reached around to pat Maya’s cheek. There was a moment of silence between them. “Alright, time to get off,” Grace declared and Maya listened. Both jumped down from the table right as Zig and Tiny entered the classroom together. Maya’s face contorted from a worried expression to one of slight fear. It was easy to miss if you weren’t looking at her like Grace was.

Zig walked further in the room and dipped his girlfriend into a joking kiss. Grace laughed with the rest of them though she was still worried for Maya. She had no idea what was going on with her but she was officially concerned.

The couple kissed again, seriously this time. They parted, but Zig’s arms remained wrapped around her. Grace masked her worry and rolled her eyes.

“You two are going to make me puke,” she said with annoyance. She sat down on her chair at the table and Maya joined her after another quick peck from Zig. Grace watched as the boys walked away to their own table across the room. She hoped Zig would figure out what was happening with Maya before she had to start asking questions.

\-----

Maya was still reeling from her discovery the day before. She was even more shocked that she had decided to slip the drugs into her backpack and attempt to sell them. She had spent the rest of the night looking up prices that she could sell them for. She had also gone on Zig’s FaceRange page in an attempt to find some of his old connections. It was easier than she thought it would be and was ready to seek them out.

After her exchange with Zig, she was happy but still worried about how she was going to get all the money she needed to make up for the drugs. Class was boring so all she did was create a list of the names she had picked out the night before. She knew some of them personally or had looked at their pictures when she pulled up their pages. She was confident she could find them and seal the deals.

The bell rang and Maya left for lunch. She had eaten a lot in the morning so she could spend her lunch period talking people into buying her ‘merchandise.’ She slung her backpack over one shoulder and left the room before Zig could catch up to her. She had to do this without him figuring out what she was doing. All she could do was bring him the money when she had finished.

Maya walked around the cafeteria and approached some of the people she had seen. Most started by laughing in her face, but changed their mind when they saw that she was following through. The drugs started to disappear and she was thrilled. She was unable to sell them all but the money was coming in. It was a good start and that was what mattered.

With the money stuffed inside her backpack, she walked up to Zig in the hallway after lunch. He turned to her when he shut his locker.

“We missed you at lunch,” he said, cradling his books in the crook of his arm.

“I know. I had to talk to some of my teachers to get my make-up work,” Maya lied, leaning against the locker. There was something about having so much money in her bag that made her a bit cautious of doing anything, even taking her backpack off her shoulders and putting it inside her locker.

“Well, I’m glad you’re back,” Zig looked down at her with the loving smile he always gave her. They both leaned in for a quick kiss. The PDA rules was still in full effect and no one wanted to be caught under Ms. Pill’s watchful eye.

“We should get going,” Maya replied, tightening her grip on her bag’s straps. Zig nodded in agreement and they walked down the hallway to their next classes. Maya was looking over her shoulder every now and again to make sure no one was going to touch her backpack.

\-----

Zig was still having a hard time acting like everything was okay. He had left the party in Miles car and took it to an under the table dealership that was just outside of town. He had gotten just a little over ten grand for it. He knew it wasn’t a legally recognized dealer so they gave the money to him up front. He was surprised to even hold that much money. With the money in his bag, he walked back to Jose’s, the guilt of his thievery weighing heavy on his heart.

The rest of the night was spent tossing and turning in his bed. He got barely a wink of sleep before he was walking to school the next morning. He was fairly good at acting like everything was okay. So when he saw Maya in class, he kissed her like normal and held a conversation like he would any other day.

His girlfriend was absent during lunch so he was stuck sitting with just Tiny, making conversation like he would every other day. He looked around for Maya but she was nowhere to be found. It wasn’t until lunch was over and he was at his locker that he saw her again.

The rest of class was rather boring. He saw Miles in one of his classes and that made his heart pound in his chest. He was relieved when it was finally over and could leave to go to after school rehearsal. Miles wouldn’t be there so he wouldn’t have to think about it for at least another hour.

Zig was on his way to rehearsal when he glanced out the glass window door, he saw Rodney, Tatiana, and Dougie sitting at their usual bench. ‘Better late than never,’ he told himself as he exited the school to give them their payment.

“Hey Rodney,” he shouted as he hurried down the stairs and over to them. They all looked up and Rodney leaned against the table with curious eyes.

“You got my money?” he asked in a voice that said he was waiting for Zig to tell him no. Zig unzipped his bag and pulled out the stacks off hundred dollar bills and set them on the table.

“There’s your money. Ten grand. It’s all there,” he told them, zipping his backpack up again.

The group of three looked at the money, flipping through it. It seemed that it was all there. Rodney looked up from the stacks to eye Zig over.

“We’ll count it and then we’ll know,” he stuffed the money into his own backpack. Zig took a deep breath, his nerves still not gone. He wasn’t worried about the money anymore, but more about someone finding out that this was from selling Miles’ car. He knew that things came back to haunt him but he hoped this was one thing that would just go away.

“Okay. I’m done. You have your money now leave me alone,” Zig demanded, giving them all a severe expression.

Tatiana was the next person to talk. “You should help us out again. If you got all of this, you’ll make our boss very happy.”

Zig didn’t even take a second to consider his response. “No. I’m out. Now leave me alone.”

He walked away before they could say anything else. He was finally out. All that he needed was for the incident with Miles’ car to blow over and everything was going to be right again.

\-----

Zoe arrived to rehearsal earlier than anyone. She was actually the first person there and sat up on the stage. They were starting with the dance at the gym, since that had the most people there. She and Zig would have to practice their first kiss right off the bat. She sighed and laid back onto the stage.

“I think that’s my spot,” she heard Grace’s voice permeate her silent contemplation. Zoe sat up from her spot and smiled at her girlfriend. Grace had been acting strange since the night before when she saw Zoe and Tatiana talking. Zoe didn’t really know why she was talking to the other girl anyway. There was something about her that intrigued her. But whenever she finished talking to the other, Zoe felt guilty. Like she had been cheating on Grace.

“Come here,” Zoe instructed her girlfriend. Grace walked down the aisle until she was standing between Zoe’s legs. They kissed for a long time and Zoe smiled against her lips. She was reminded why she liked being with Grace so much. Even when they were kissing she made her feel special. Grace saw the best in her and believed that everyone should see it.

Zoe pulled away and rested her hands on Grace’s shoulders. “I’m sorry about Tatiana last night. She didn’t mean to just walk out like that. She told me this morning.”

Grace gave her a face like she had swallowed something bitter. She didn’t say anything though, which concerned Zoe even more. She thought that Grace and Tatiana were friends since they knew each other. But the way Grace’s face look meant that they weren’t on the best terms and she didn’t want Zoe spending time with her.

The Latina wrapped her arms around Grace’s neck and kissed her again. She could tell simply by Grace’s kiss that something was wrong. Maybe she really thought something was happening between her and Tatiana. Zoe was having those thoughts about the other girl and maybe Grace knew them. That was actually pretty terrifying for her and their relationship.

“I promise nothing is happening between Tatiana and me. I love you, okay?” Zoe looked into her eyes. Grace’s face softened, though not as much as Zoe would like. Still, she had to take what she could get right now. Grace would warm up to her friendship with Tatiana. It would just take time. And that gave Zoe time to get over the unholy thoughts she was having about Tatiana.

Their kisses were interrupted by a voice behind them. “Am I walking in on some hot lesbian action?” Zig asked as he walked down the aisle. He seemed to be in the better mood then the last time Zoe saw him. They both turned to look at him.

“Not anymore, Novak,” Grace said with an eye roll. Zig made a fake pout, which made Zoe give an eye roll of her own.

“Where’s Maya?” Zoe asked, curious to see him walk in by himself. Not only that, she wanted to ask him if he figured out how to get out of his situation. If Maya was there, she had no way to ask him in private.

Zig shrugged. “Maya isn’t in the dance sequence. She’s only in one scene. So she’s not scheduled for rehearsal today.”

Zoe nodded while more students entered the auditorium. Frankie walked up to Grace with an apparent question. The blue-haired girl kissed Zoe’s shoulder before walking away with the Hollingsworth girl to answer her question. She was out of earshot and Zoe decided to ask.

“Did you figure out what to do about Rodney?” she asked in tiny whisper. Zig nodded.

“I got it covered. Don’t worry anymore, alright?” he told her. She didn’t want to worry but she knew she would. All she did was nod and they sunk into the front row seats.

Rehearsal went off without a hitch. Grace didn’t make Zoe and Zig kiss and Tristan and Winston were getting really good at verbal conflict. They seemed to have some sort of practice. Zoe was still watching Zig the whole time, convinced something was going on with him. She could only hope that he was right that it was over and nothing would come to mess it up.

\-----

By the end of the day, Tristan hadn’t been able to acquire the one-hundred seventy-five dollars he needed to pay off his debt to Dougie. He asked for an extension and he raised the interest from ten to thirty percent. He had to have one-hundred ninety-five dollars by the next day or they would be looking for him. How he was going to come up with that he didn’t know.

His debt weighed him down the entire time he was rehearsing that he had to get yelled at by Grace to focus. He had taken the last of his pills right before practice. He didn’t know how he had gone down from five to zero in the span of twenty-four hours. He was becoming addicted and he was starting to recognize it. It wasn’t like he was addicted to coke or heroin. It was just some pills that made him feel better when he needed them.

When rehearsal was over he was determined to get home so he could figure out how to come up with the money he needed. However, he ran straight into Miles as he left the auditorium. He didn’t have time listen to Miles lecture him again.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Tristan told the other, looking at him with a look that hopefully showed he wasn’t kidding.

Miles sighed. “I’m not going to talk about that. I just wanted to apologize. It was out of line last night, okay?”

Tristan wasn’t expecting an apology and was almost taken aback by it. “Thank you,” he said, quietly. He was ready to yell but now he didn’t have a reason to.

The rich boy continued. “I was being an asshole and you didn’t deserve it. I was being judgmental.”

Tristan felt bad. Miles was apologizing for being judgmental when he was actually doing what Miles was accusing him of doing. He didn’t deserve an apology but all he could do was stand there and accept it.

“It’s whatever,” he said, looking down at his feet. He hoped this was over and he could go on his way to figure out where he was getting his money from.

“I also wanted to know if you would be willing to let me take you out to dinner or something. To make it up to you,” Miles asked. Tristan smiled a little.

“Like a date?” he asked and Miles rolled his eyes jokingly.

“Yeah. A date,” he admitted and Tristan was more excited than he had been in a while. Miles was asking him out again. This was really happening. So that meant Miles still had feelings for him after all. They were going out again and that was all he had wanted for months.

“Cool,” Tristan said, trying to play it cool.

“I’ll text you where and when. I can’t really pick you up with my car though. Walking okay with you?”

Tristan nodded quickly and Miles did the wink he did before walking off. Tristan had completely forgotten what he was worrying about because he was going out with Miles again.

 

 

 


	6. Smooth That Rough Touch

**Day 18:**

Zig’s stress about the car didn’t diminish even as the week progressed. No one had gone after him so he was sure he was going to get away with it consequence free. That didn’t stop his pulse from quickening whenever he passed Miles in the hallway or saw Rodney and his friends hanging out in their usual spot outside. Nothing in his life came without strings attached and he assumed this wouldn’t be any different.

He concluded that all he had to do was play it cool and pretend everything was okay. Drawing any attention to himself would point a finger that he was the one who did it. He had stolen from Miles and was still missing a huge amount of drugs that were certain to resurface at some point. He wasn’t home free home and he wouldn’t let himself be lulled into a false sense of security.

As a means to stop his worrying, Zig decided to go full on in focusing on West Side Story. He was Tony after all so he had to be on his A-game at all times.  The only bad part was Zoe and knowing that she knew everything, excluding his stealing of Miles’ car. She didn’t talk to him about it since he told her it was cool but she still looked at him with apprehension. She was worrying about it and that made him worry even more.

Along with the way Zoe looked at him, what was really troubling was how Maya didn’t look at him like that. She was completely unaware of everything going on and he felt horrible for keeping something so big from her. Despite this, he knew he had to keep her safe and admitting he was trapped in the gang scene again was a surefire way to put her in imminent danger.

It was after school during rehearsal that Lola approached him. They were doing ‘America’ and the balcony scene so they were all there. Zig was looking over his lines and musical parts when the pink-haired girl came up to him. He looked down at her inquisitively, closing his script.

“Dougie told me you took Miles’ car,” she said, plainly. The way she said it was so casual, like she was telling him the weather forecast.

Zig decided playing dumb was his best route. “I don’t know what you mean,” he shrugged and reopened his script.

“He told Rodney that you took it when you were at my party,” Lola persisted, taking another step closer to him. She wasn’t intimidating, standing shorter than Zig and having hair that looked like a big thing of cotton candy. But he was intimidated by Rodney so when he heard his name, his ears perked up.

“Rodney got his money. He should be happy,” he replied, focusing on one line in his song. He read it over and over, trying to distract himself from how she was still looking at him with a judgmental expression that he was sure he’d received from Maya if he told her about all of this.

This time, Lola leaned in to whisper. “Well, he’s angry. He wants the stuff back and he says they have a hit on you again. I told him not to, but he’s pretty serious.”

Zig took a deep intake of air. He was done with all of this. He had done a horrible thing by stealing Miles’ car and it still wasn’t over. He didn’t know how he would be able to get out. But the only thing that kept him fighting was Maya. She was the easiest way to hurt him. If he ditched, she would be the first person they would go after.

“I’ll figure it out. Tell him that,” he told her, though he was still wasn’t sure how he would. Lola gave him a sympathetic expression before she turned to leave. Zig didn’t miss the bruise on her lower back when her shirt rode up as she walked away.

Practice after that was unbearable. Zoe didn’t comment on how he was out of sync but Grace got on his case. It took extreme restraint not to go off on her. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. She didn’t know what was going on with him. By the time they were done, he was practically sprinting out of the auditorium. Hopefully he would be able to make it home before Rodney or any of the others caught a glimpse of him.

Fortunately, he wasn’t spotted and made it home as quickly as possible. No one stopped him to talk and he was through Jose’s front door only fifteen minutes after he left Degrassi. He could hear Jose and Tiny talking in the kitchen and Zig tried his best to enter without looking guilty.

“How was rehearsal?” Jose asked when Zig entered the kitchen. All he did was nod.

Jose looked at Tiny curiously, though he didn’t attempt to pry. Instead, he changed the subject. The pair continued working on dinner while Zig looked down at his phone. It buzzed with a text from Maya. He was too guilty to even talk to her. He ignored it and shoved the phone into his pocket.

\-----

Tristan wasn’t needed for rehearsal that day. It was mostly the Shark cast with the addition of Zig. He was able to think about his date with Miles instead of his fight scenes. They were going to dinner and Tristan’s nerves were starting to get the best of him. He hoped this date went somewhere and he and Miles would get back together. It was a hope that he wasn’t too confident on but he wanted it nonetheless.

All of the anxiety he was feeling brought on cravings he didn’t know he could have. He wanted the pills he had been taking. He had brought Dougie his one-hundred ninety-five dollars days before, having taken it from his mother’s purse. He felt bad for it but it was better than the alternative of being sought out by Dougie and his buddies.

The cravings were growing stronger and stronger as the days progressed until after school when he was practically jumping out of his skin. He needed just a taste of those sweet pills that made all the agony go away. If Dougie was willing to sell them to him with an interest fee, he could get some. That was what he was relying at least.

Tristan approached the man himself when he spotted him sitting on the one of the concrete railings on the front steps. He straightened himself and walked over to Dougie with as much confidence as he could muster. The other saw him coming and shoved his hands in his pockets. He knew what Tristan was coming for before he opened his mouth.

“Boss said not to sell to you anymore,” he said before Tristan could say anything. Tristan’s mouth opened but he closed it, trying to calculate his words well enough to articulate what he wanted to say.

“But…” was what he was able to get out. Dougie pulled a joint out of his pocket instead of the drugs Tristan thought he would be getting. He lit it and took a long drag from it.

“You’re not a reliable sale. I was being too generous with the interest,” Dougie said it a way that sounded like he was rebutting a statement Tristan never even said.

“I got you your money, didn’t I? Isn’t that what matters?” Tristan asked, leaning against the railing. His skin was crawling underneath his clothes and desperation was getting ready to set in.

Dougie took another hit of his joint. “He wants more. No more five piece samples. You buy the big stuff or none at all.”

“I don’t how much that would cost,” Tristan pointed out. They hadn’t negotiated prices for a large amount.

 “Eighteen-hundred,” Dougie said casually. “For sixty pills. That’s what the boss wants us selling.”

Tristan had to keep his jaw from dropping. There was no way he could afford that much money, especially up-front. He didn’t even know anyone who would spend that much to get drugs. They were good but were they that good?

“This is high class shit, Tristan,” Dougie continued. “You give me eighteen-hundred or you get lost. That’s just how this shit works.”

Tristan was prepared to walk away but his feet weren’t letting him. Instead, his brain was going over ways that he could convince Dougie. He was really starting to hate himself for all of this. He wasn’t this kind of person. He was a straight-A, never get in trouble kind of kid. He wasn’t a sleazy drug addict that would do anything to get pills. He felt nothing like himself but his mind was still betraying him.

“What else can I do?” he asked, desperately. “I’ll do anything. Just please help me.”

Dougie looked him up and down with curiosity. It looked like he was inspecting him, trying to price him. It made Tristan’s skin crawl and he wanted to walk away. But his feet still wouldn’t listen.

The other sighed as he released a puff of smoke into the air. “Blow me.”

Tristan didn’t know if he heard him correctly. Had he really just asked him to give him a blowjob? That was only something you saw in the movies. Sexual favors for drugs. He definitely wasn’t the person who would do that.

“Screw you,” he spat back. Dougie shrugged, unaffected.

“It’s your choice. You want the drugs, you blow me and I’ll give the boss my money for them,” he said as if it were the simplest decision ever. He smashed the end of his blunt against the rail and stuffed it back into his pocket when the part that was lit was completely gone. Once that was finished, he crossed his arms and gave Tristan a look that said he had seconds to decide.

Tristan had to make a decision and fast. He wanted the drugs to help him out with his date with Miles. If he didn’t take them, he would be on edge the whole time and unable to properly enjoy it. But what kind of logic dictated that to get the drugs for his date he had to blow another guy? It was messed up and he didn’t know if degrading himself like that was worth it.

Even as he nodded and agreed to Dougie’s request, he hated himself. It was the wrong choice and he knew it. But those pills looked so good in his mind and made putting a guy’s dick in his mouth worth it. If he closed his eyes, he might even be able to imagine that it was Miles.

\-----

Grace was glad that Zoe decided to stay after rehearsal with her. She had to finish cleaning up and lock up before she was allowed to leave. Her girlfriend sat on the stage and watched her go around the auditorium to make sure everything was back in its proper place. It didn’t take long and when she was finished, she walked down the aisle to the other girl.

“All finished,” she announced, resting her hands beside Zoe’s waist. Their lips met in a sinful kiss. It was slowly becoming an addiction for Grace. She couldn’t get enough of her girlfriend. It was a honeymoon phase, she told herself, but she couldn’t care less. Even if it was a phase, the least she could do was thoroughly enjoy it.

“Excellent,” Zoe returned against Grace’s lips. She rejoined them again and held them in place until she could no longer breathe. They parted, gasping for air and laughing under their breath.

“We should leave,” Grace told her and grabbed her hand to assist her in hopping off the stage. They left the auditorium and Grace double-checked that the doors were locked. As they left the school, she spoke again. “You pretty good today, Rivas. I almost believed you loved Zig.”

Zoe laughed and wrapped her arm around Grace’s waist, dragging her closer to her. “I’m a great actress. What can I say?” she grinned. Grace rolled her eyes playfully.

They walked the sidewalk towards Zoe’s house with their hips brushing and hands clasped together. It felt nice to walk home together like this after all of Grace’s uncertainty she had been feeling recently. Everything with Zoe and Tatiana made her nervous. But when she looked at the beautiful Latina beside her, Tatiana was the farthest thing in her brain.

They entered the house together and it was empty. Zoe’s mother wasn’t there very much, which Grace was curious about. Their relationship was too fresh to ask so she just took it as a blessing. It gave them plenty of alone time.

Zoe bounced as she sat on the minimalist white sofa in her living room. Grace joined her, though she sat much more gently. Even if her mom wasn’t there, it was still Ms. Rivas’ house and she didn’t want to break anything too bad.

“You know,” Zoe began and Grace’s ears perked up. “You are a really good director. I don’t think anyone has told you that.”

Grace smiled, though played it off as nothing. “Shut up,” she said, though it was entirely a joke.

Zoe shook her head. “I’m being serious. You’re really good and everyone appreciates it. I know I do.”

There was a silence between the two girls as Grace soaked in the compliment. She wasn’t used to being complimented on anything. People were too afraid to say nice things to her. She definitely had a tendency to shrug off any compliments or make the person who said them feel bad. But she couldn’t do that to Zoe. Hearing her nice words made her heart sing and she didn’t want to shrug that off.

“Thank you,” she said in a voice that was barely above a whisper. Zoe chuckled and brought her in for another kiss. Grace was thankful for that. It didn’t mean she had to come up with something too heartfelt. She was grateful for Zoe and what she said. But she wasn’t the best with words and preferred to show her thanks and affection through actions.

The two girls spent the majority of their time together on the couch sharing kisses and compliments. Well, Zoe would say a compliment and Grace would kiss her in thanks. It was later than she thought when Grace said she should leave.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Zoe asked like it was a question.

“Yeah.” They looked at each other for a brief moment until Zoe looked down with a shy smile she only gave Grace. With one last kiss, Grace left the house and made her way home. She couldn’t believe that she was completely in love with this girl. Zoe Rivas had come into her life and changed everything. What scared Grace more than anything was how much she enjoyed it.

\-----

Zoe watched Grace leave her house and only closed the door when she disappeared around the corner. She shut the door when she was gone and took a deep breath. She loved Grace so much that it made her chest ache. She had never felt that way about anyone, especially not her latest boyfriends. It was all new and interesting and made her feel like she was diving headfirst into beautiful, yet dangerous waters.

It was only a few minutes after Grace had left that she heard a knock on her door. She knew exactly who it was and didn’t waste a second opening it. When the door swung open, she saw Tatiana’s face looking at her. Zoe couldn’t contain her smile. It was different than the one she had when she looked at Grace. But it wasn’t completely innocent. For her, Grace and Tatiana were like fire and ice.

“Come in,” Zoe greeted, stepping aside so Tatiana could come in. When she entered, they retreated to the couch that Zoe had just spent an amazing amount of time with Grace on. Tatiana curled her feet up beneath her on the couch and gave her the devilish smile that always seemed to be on her lips.

“How’s your girlfriend?” she asked, eyeing Zoe with her entrancing eyes. It took every ounce of strength within her body for Zoe to look away.

“She’s fine. I don’t want to talk about her,” she replied. She didn’t even want to hear Grace’s name cross Tatiana’s lips. She was too good for Tatiana to even think about.

The tattooed girl nodded and looked away for a moment. “So why did you want to see me?” she asked, looking around the room to see where Zoe lived. It made Zoe feel so open and bare. That was how Tatiana’s eyes worked. They undressed you from the inside out.

“It’s about Zig,” Zoe persisted, though her mind was buzzing from the idea of Tatiana being in her house on her couch. How had she allowed this girl in? She let someone she had only just met in and enabled her to dissect her with those haunting eyes.

“Oh yeah?” Tatiana said, disinterested. It was hard for Zoe not to shut the topic down when she looked like that but she needed to persevere. She wanted to help Zig because he was her friend. This was her way of helping.

“Is Rodney really done with him?” Zoe asked, trying to sound nonchalant but failing miserably. She was an actress. How was she so terrible at pretending to play something cool? It made her angrier with herself than she already was.

Tatiana laughed. “Let’s not talk about Zig, okay? I came here because I wanted to talk to you.”

Zoe wanted to yell and fight but she was afraid. If she acted weird about it she would give herself away. She would signal that she wasn’t really in this for the reasons Tatiana so clearly thought she was.

“It’s just that…he’s my friend,” she continued, her voice sounding as casual as she could make it.

“I want to talk about you,” Tatiana deflected and crawled across the couch so she was in front of Zoe. Zoe’s eyes widened as the short-haired girl leaned in and placed a kiss on her lips. She didn’t know what to do with the kiss. In a split second decision, she returned it. It only lasted a few seconds and then Tatiana was pulling away.

“Fact one. You’re a cheater,” she stated like she was surprised. Zoe was flabbergasted. She had been played and didn’t have anything intelligent to say back. It was the first time she had truly been rendered speechless. Tatiana grinned and stood from the couch.

“Call me when you want to talk about you,” she said as slipped her jacket back on. She winked and left the house while Zoe sat there completely shocked by what had just happened.

\-----

Miles and Tristan agreed to meet at the restaurant Miles picked out instead of walking there together. Miles got their first but Tristan arrived shortly after. Just seeing him made Miles feel guilty about how he had acted in the days before he asked him out. But instead of giving a face that matched how he felt inside, he smiled at his date.

“Hey Tris,” he said with his signature grin. Tristan looked at him with eyes that looked a little bit cloudy.

“Hi,” he said in a voice that was definitely not Tristan. He didn’t sound like himself. His voice always has bounce to it but it just sounded lack luster. Like he was trying to have it but it wasn’t coming out completely.

They were seated across from each other in one of the booths. Miles got a good look at Tristan and noticed that he looked even more dazed close up. His lips looked swollen and his eyes almost had a film over them. He didn’t want to say anything, knowing he’d be yelled at again, but Miles was really starting to get concerned.

“I’m sorry about all that stuff the other day,” Miles began. Tristan blinked a few times and then nodded.

“It’s all fine. Water under the bridge or whatever,” the other boy said and he was actually sounding like himself briefly. That made Miles smile. Maybe he was looking for something and saw it. Tristan was fine. He didn’t need to look for something that wasn’t there.

They talked aimlessly after they ordered and Miles continued to observe Tristan. He would be very enthusiastic and himself while he was talking, but then looked confused whenever he wasn’t. It looked like he was forcing himself to be upbeat and positive only when he was speaking.

“So I’ve heard good things about the musical,” Miles said, coming up with another topic. It was safe and something Tristan was always enthusiastic about.

“Yeah,” he said. Their food arrived and Miles waited for him to elaborate when the waitress left. Instead he just pushed his food around his plate quietly.

“You’re Riff, right?” Miles tried to expand the conversation. Tristan seemed to be coming down from whatever was going on with him. He took small bite of his food and looked like he was waking up too early. He blinked over and over, pausing every couple blinks to close his eyes.

“Yeah. It’s cool, I guess,” he said in barely a whisper. Miles sighed loudly and leaned back against the booth.

“I’m trying to be caring and listening. What is going on with you?” Miles asked. He was trying his best to ignore it but he couldn’t do it anymore. He was doing everything Tristan wanted him to when they were dating and he was getting nothing in return.

Tristan looked up from his food. “I’m really high,” he admitted. Miles took a deep breath and sat up straight again.

“Obviously,” he said. “What did you take?”

The other just shook his head. “I’m still not completely sure what it is.”

There was a silence between them as Miles tried to calculate what he wanted to say. He finally came up with something. “Why are you doing this, Tris? This isn’t what you do. What’s going on with you?”

“Why did you like to get high?” he shot back. Miles didn’t really have an answer that would teach a good. It would probably be the same thing Tristan would say.

“I knew this was a bad idea,” was what he said instead. Tristan looked down at his lap like a hurt puppy. Miles wanted to apologize but knew that he needed to respect himself not to do so.

That ate the rest of their dinner in silence. When they were finished and all that was left for their dinner was for Miles to pay.

They left without a word until Miles spoke up. “I called you a cab. Go home and sober up,” he told him. He went to walk away but paused. “Be safe, okay?” he added. Tristan looked up at him with sad eyes.

“Bye,” Tristan said in barely a whisper. It was quiet but Miles still heard it. It sounded so final, like it was a last goodbye. Did that mean they would never get back together? Miles head said a solid yes but his heart was in firm disagreement.

\-----

Maya looked at crumbled wads of money on her bed. She didn’t know how much she had but it had to be close. Over the span of time she had the drugs, she had almost sold all of them. It involved talking to people she didn’t like and entering some unsavory neighborhoods but she did it. There were only a few baggies left and she was at a loss of how she would get rid of them.

She tucked the bag underneath her bed like she had been doing since she found them. Her mom didn’t look under there so she was able to keep them well hidden. As for the money, she stuffed it into one of her old backpacks and stored it in her closet. All semblance of drugs and money were out of sight and she was pleased. When she wasn’t looking at it, she didn’t have to think about it.

The blonde laid down on her bed. Spending her recreational time selling drugs left her wiped. All she wanted to do was lie down and sleep for hours. That sensation was one she had been feeling for a while now, but all the extra work was putting more of a strain on her. Her eyes had just drifted closed when she heard knocking on her door.

Frustrated, Maya got up from her bed slowly. “I’m coming, mom,” she called when the knock came again. Instead of her mom, however, she was greeted by two policemen. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw their faces. Her mom was behind them looking at her with fear and a touch of disappointment.

“Maya Matlin?” one of the officers asked in a stern voice. She nodded and the officers looked at each other. “Please step aside.”

She did as she was told and they continued into her room. Maya looked at her mom with fear and shock.

“They have a warrant,” was all her mother said, watching the policemen as they went through every part of Maya’s room.

It wasn’t long before they found the rolled up plastic underneath her bed. Her mom looked shocked and Maya felt like she could cry. How did they find out about this? She hadn’t been selling for that long and the cops were already pounding down her door.

“We have about 50 grams here,” the one who had the drugs in his hand said as he unraveled the plastic. The other grabbed the backpack that had the money in it. He unzipped it and looked up when he saw the money.

“Found the cash,” he said, tossing the backpack to the one who was holding the drugs. Maya was already crying since they had started talking but now she was sobbing. The man who had thrown the backpack walked over to her

“Maya Matlin, you are under arrest for possession of a control substance with the intent to sell,” he said as he pulled her arms around her back and put the handcuffs on her. The rest was a flash as they continued talking and shuttled her to the car. She consented to something but she didn’t remember what. What she did remember more than anything was her mother’s tears as she watched her daughter be pushed into the backseat of the police car.


	7. Good Pilgrim, You Do Wrong

**Day 19:**

Maya’s wrists were starting to ache from the cuffs that were tightly attached to them. She had spent the night in a juvenile center, seeing that she wasn’t allowed to be in the holding cell she had entered for more than four hours. It felt like she would never leave the cell so much so that when they walked in to take her she thought it was too good to be true.

They kept her shackled all night as she was forced to sleep on the thin, hard mattress in one of the center’s cells. This was all after she was searched, poked, prodded, and questioned over and over again. The lawyer that they had sent in for her told her she didn’t have to say anything but she answered their questions just to make things go faster. After they made her pee into a cup, she spent the rest of the night lying on that bed with her hands clasped tightly together. She didn’t stop crying from the time they closed the door to her cell to when they flicked the lights on at eight in the morning the next day.

“Your lawyer’s here,” the officer that helped her off the bed grumbled. She didn’t get the chance to say anything as they shuttled her from the cell to one of the rooms that had only a small table and two chairs facing each other. A women with red hair fixed into a tight bun and a pantsuit sat in one of the chairs. She stood when Maya entered, but didn’t speak until the officer had finished removing one of Maya’s cuffs and chained it to the table.

“Hello Maya,” the woman said, sitting back down in the chair across from Maya. She had a sympathetic face that said she had done this more than one. Even with the lines on her face that read stress, she still looked pleasant. She had a face that Maya was instantly able to trust.

“Hello,” Maya said, her voice tired and raw from all the crying the night before. Her face must have looked blotchy and puffy in the florescent lighting in the room.

The woman looked down at the stack of papers that Maya could only assume was her file. “Well, you can call me Susan. I received your file this morning and I have only had a short time to look at it. From what I see, you’ve been charged for a pretty serious drug trafficking felony. They found fifty-two grams of MDMA in your possession and about nine-thousand dollars that they are calling drug money. What can you tell me about that?”

Maya knew she should be honest and tell them that the drugs weren’t hers. That she was selling them to help Zig. However, that was still enough to incriminate her. Even if she was only helping her boyfriend, she was selling the drugs and that meant she was indictable. She didn’t like to think about what that meant.

“I was selling them,” was all she said. Susan gave her another sympathetic expression that disguised her frustration with her. Maya didn’t have to say anything, but she knew if she didn’t start spilling that she would get more time inside the hall where she had left. That was one thing she wanted to avoid if at all possible.

“Well,” the attorney began, opening up the file. “Seeing that your possession was so…extensive, they will most likely charge you as an adult.”

 “Which means?” Maya asked, though she felt like she already knew what that meant.

Susan sighed and reached her hand across to put it on top of Maya’s that was chained to the table. “It would mean about eighteen months, unfortunately.”

Maya pulled her hand away as much as she could, making a clanking noise against the table. “Eighteen months? This is my first offense! I’ve never done anything before. I don’t deserve to be put in prison because of a mistake!”

“I agree,” Susan nodded. “That’s the angle we are going to go for. This is your first offense, you are a straight-A student who is involved with extracurricular activities. You’re a good kid, Maya. If the judge decides that you deserve leniency, he might shorten the sentence to six to eight months.”

Maya shook her head. “That’s still eight months. Can’t we bargain for probation or community service?”

Susan looked at her with the same sad eyes she had given her earlier. “The only way that would be possible is if someone admitted to giving you the drugs or forcing you to sell them. Even then, you’re looking at six months of house arrest and two years of probation. Also at least two hundred hours of community service and required courses on drug consequences.”

That seemed to be the best option for her. How would she convince them they weren’t her drugs though? She had found them and if she could find the person who may have planted them on her she could argue that she was forced. Still, she had actively sold them and that didn’t look very good for her.

“Thank you,” Maya said, looking down at her lap. She had really messed up this time and she had no idea how she was going to get herself out of this.

There was beat of silence before Susan spoke up again. “I spoke with the judge and they set your bail hearing for Monday. You just have to wait out today, tomorrow, and Sunday in here. I requested that you be allowed visitors and the court permitted it. They must be accompanied by your mother and you have ten minutes. Is that fair?”

Maya’s mind instantly jumped to whether or not her mother would bring Zig to talk to her. She needed to speak with him as soon as possible. That hopefully meant before her bail hearing.

“Thank you,” the blonde said in a barely a whisper. Susan didn’t reach out to touch her this time and closed her files again.

“I will talk to you tomorrow once I’ve spoken with the judge more. Remember that this is only temporary and I am here to help. I ask that you cooperate with the officers and there will be no problems. Show that you are willing to follow the rules and the judge will help you."

Susan left and Maya slumped back in her chair. Three days in jail and she would be able to leave. All she could think about now was how much she needed to talk to Zig. She didn’t want to go down for this and she knew he could help.

\-----

“Tristan!” Dougie called out as he jogged to catch up to him. Tristan decided to eat lunch outside to avoid seeing Miles. He wasn’t expecting to see the only other person who made him feel worse to approach him. He had nowhere left to escape and turned to face the boy behind him.

“Can I help you?” he asked, looking at him, annoyed. Dougie pushed his glasses up his nose and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“I paid off your debt,” he told him. Tristan nodded. He hadn’t been overly concerned about that part and was more living with the shame of what he had done for the drugs. He had degraded himself for sixty pills. Whenever he took one, he reminded himself to enjoy it completely.

“Thanks,” Tristan replied, looking down at his tray of food. Dougie looked incredibly proud of himself and it was then that Tristan realized he hadn’t done anything like that before either. It had a way of making Tristan feel even worse about himself.

“You wanna come sit with us?” Dougie asked, jutting his thumb in the direction of his friends. Tristan was surprised by the invitation. He thought Dougie was only using him for money and one shameful blowjob. Did that favor mean he was diving deeper into his scene? It sounded daunting, but oh so tempting.

“Sure,” he answered and they headed over to the bench by the trees. There sat Rodney, Tatiana, and Lola. They were all chatting away as Tristan sunk down on the bench. Dougie sat beside him as his friends looked up from their conversation.

“This is Tristan,” Dougie introduced him. Lola waved at Tristan enthusiastically until she saw Rodney looking at her. She placed her hand back onto her leg and looked down at her food. It made Tristan frown a bit, seeing a girl so bubbly being tamed by her boyfriend.

“Hi,” Tatiana said, looking at him with a suspicious smile. “I’m Tatiana. I don’t know if we’ve met.”

“Rodney,” the other boy at the table said, giving Tristan a small nod.

“Nice to meet both of you,” he said with a pleasant smile neither of them returned. His smile slowly fell into an awkward half-grin. No one said anything else to him and they carried on their conversation like nothing had happened. Tristan looked up at Lola, who wasn’t participating in the discussion either.

While they continued to talk, Tristan addressed Lola. “How are you?” he asked, not sure what else to say. She smiled at him with her perky grin.

“I’m great! I’m having so much fun with the musical!” she said enthusiastically. Tristan nodded in agreement.

“Me too,” he agreed. The musical was still making him nervous but it currently was the only thing that was making him truly happy. With everything going on with Miles and this addiction he was feeding, he was glad there was one thing that brought him joy. Even if that was the very thing that contributed to his ongoing drug habit.

The other three people at the table started to talk louder. Tristan furrowed his brow, trying to get a good listen. Even as he picked out some words, he still didn’t know what they were talking. “What’s going on?” he asked Lola instead.

She shrugged. “Some girl was selling on their turf. They got her locked up though,” she answered.

Hearing Lola talk like that made Tristan vastly uncomfortable. How had someone like her gotten caught up with something like this? Rodney didn’t even seem to be a good boyfriend. She was happy and sweet, but now she was scared and nervous. Like if she said too much, something bad would happen. Tristan feared that that might be true.

The three made a decision in their conversation and parted from the little group whisper discussion they had been having. Rodney was the first to talk. “We gotta go handle something. See you when I see you, babe,” he told Lola, kissing her forehead. She closed her eyes and smiled. Tristan heard her whisper a soft ‘bye.’

“I’ll see you later,” Dougie said to him and when he wasn’t expecting it, grabbed Tristan’s chin and pulled him into a long kiss. It shocked the other boy but he leaned into it anyway. When they parted, Dougie winked and walked off with the other two people in their group.

\-----

Zoe’s mind was filled with confusing questions since Tatiana had kissed her the day before. She definitely wasn’t a cheater. But then why she kiss her back? She didn’t want to but it felt like the natural thing to do. She didn’t want to be with Tatiana. She wanted to be with Grace, who she loved, not some girl who wouldn’t tell her anything about herself.

With all of her spinning thoughts, it so happened that Zoe saw Tatiana every way she turned. In the hallway they would pass each other. During lunch, she saw her and her friends enter from outside. She couldn’t escape her judging eye. Even when she wasn’t looking at her, Zoe could still feel judgment radiating off of her.

It wasn’t until after school that Tatiana finally approached her. Zoe had just finished putting her books in her bag and slammed her locker shut when the short-haired girl popped up beside her. She gave that wicked smile that Zoe saw in her dreams. “Have you talked to your girlfriend yet, cheater?”

Zoe groaned and rolled her eyes. “I’m not a cheater. You kissed me.”

“You kissed me back,” Tatiana retorted with a shrug. Zoe didn’t know how to fight that. She had kissed her back, but did she want to? It felt like a reflex that she had simply given into. It didn’t mean anything to her.

“You need to leave me alone,” Zoe threw back, shrugging passed her and heading towards the auditorium. Out of sight, out of mind.

“I have something you might want to know about,” Tatiana yelled after her. Zoe stopped in her tracks. What could she possibly know that Zoe would want to know? Knowing Tatiana, she was afraid of what it might be. So instead of giving a negative reply, she turned and walked back.

“What are you talking about?” she asked in an angry whisper. Tatiana smirked and fixed her own bag over her shoulder.

“Your girl Maya?” she said as though it was a question. Zoe was royally confused by that point. She hadn’t talked to Maya in days. It wasn’t that they weren’t friends, but they weren’t incredibly close either. Zoe was closer to Zig than she was Maya.

“What about her?” she questioned instead of pointing this out.

Tatiana chuckled, obviously loving the power she had over Zoe. “Dougie got her locked up. Thought you might want to know that.”

Confusion crossed Zoe’s features. How had to possibly gotten Maya arrested? If there was one thing she was, it was a straight edge. Maya didn’t do anything wrong and there was no way anyone could indict her. And if they did, why did Dougie want her arrested in the first place? What could Maya have possibly done that was that bad?

“What are you talking about?” Zoe inquired.

“She was selling on the boss’ turf. He wanted her gone and Dougie sent an anonymous tip,” Tatiana revealed. She looked so proud of herself and Zoe was absolutely disgusted. How could she be so happy that she had sentenced someone like Maya to something so cruel?

“Don’t talk to me ever. Again,” Zoe demanded, anger seeping through her words. She didn’t appear to even phase Tatiana. The tattooed girl just shrugged again.

“Whatever. Just remember that,” she told her. She threw Zoe a wink and turned on her heel, walking proudly down the hall. Zoe stood there and watched, confused as to what had just happened. What she knew was that she had to talk to Zig as soon as possible.

\-----

Frankie and Lola weren’t needed for practice so Miles had to take them home. He still didn’t have his car, but his mom had made it clear that he still had to walk his sister home. He felt like he was a child again but he was still in hot water about losing the car. He was just grateful that his mother was giving him time to find it before they told his father.

Like every other day, they had to take Lola to her parent’s restaurant. It was a bit out of the way and taking the route on foot was making for aching feet for Miles. Instead of just swinging by, Frankie decided they should sit and talk for a while. Nothing made Miles more frustrated than having to wait for his sister. He just kept remembering what his mom had said. He did what she said or his dad would know about the car. That meant babysitting Frankie and doing what she wanted to.

He sat at the table with them, playing on his phone. He was contemplating if he would text Tristan. He wanted to make sure he got home okay. It didn’t matter what they were now, he would always care for Tristan. He wanted the best for him and maybe this drug thing was just a phase. All Miles had to do was remind himself that. He wasn’t Tristan’s keeper and he was sure everything would turn out alright.

“Miles!” Frankie’s voice permeated his bubble of thoughts. He looked up from his phone slightly confused.

“What?” he asked, setting his phone on the table. Frankie groaned and rolled her eyes.

“Lola is trying to tell you something,” she explained. Despite her look of frustration, he could tell this was something important. She had the face that he knew well.

“What?” he asked, nervous about what it might be.

Lola took a deep breath before starting. “Rodney told me that Dougie told him that he saw Zig take your car from my party.”

Miles’ eyes widened a little bit. “Zig stole my car?”

Lola nodded and Frankie gave him a look that told him not to do anything stupid. His blood was already boiling from knowing who stole his car. Of course it was Zig. He had been talking to him before the party to distract him, giving him notions that Rodney was the bad guy. Miles was still mad that he had allowed himself to be tricked by it.

“We need to go,” he told Frankie. She gave Lola and thankful look. The girls hugged and Miles practically drug Frankie home. He was formulating how he was going to go about all of this. As much as he wanted to just storm Zig’s house, he couldn’t. He had to come up with something that would corner the other and make sure he couldn’t escape.

They reached their home and Miles went upstairs into his room. He was trying to think of how he could contact Zig. He looked through his phone and saw the boy’s number. He could just call him and settle the score but that was lazy and ineffective. He was losing his touch. It was all this caring about other people that was bogging him down.

Instead, he hit Maya’s name to call her. The phone rang and rang but there was no answer. Maya wasn’t one to ignore her phone, but maybe she was ignoring him. They hadn’t spoken in a while and it made sense that she didn’t want to talk to him. He groaned and tossed his phone onto his bed. Even the second easiest way wasn’t working.

When he picked up his phone, he scrolled through the names. He reached the end and saw Tristan’s name pop up. There was another part of his life that he wanted to ignore. His anger with Zig made him completely forget what had gone on with Tristan. But there his name was and all those thoughts came crashing back.

That was what he needed. He needed something to distract him from Tristan. If that meant coming up with a convoluted plan about getting his car back, then so be it.

\-----

Zig had gotten a call from Ms. Matlin after Maya got arrested. He was ready to jump up and go right to the police station, but she calmed him down. She told him that appearing might obstruct the evidence and questioning. He agreed to stay home and she told him she would call him with updates. He spent the rest of the night and the next day waiting for her call.

It was after school that he finally received the call he had been waiting for. She told him that she was allowed visitors and he could come. At around six o’clock, she drove by and picked him up. They didn’t say anything in the car ride there. He knew she blamed him for getting Maya into this. He didn’t know how to tell her that he had no idea she was doing this.

They arrived at the center and after being thoroughly patted down, Zig walked into the visiting center. It was one of those rooms of booths that he had only seen in movies. He sat down at one of the seats and saw Maya sitting across from him. She looked completely different behind the glass. She wore an orange jumpsuit and one of her hands was handcuffed to the table. She had been crying, he could tell that by the red circles beneath her eyes.

They both picked up the phones that sat on the side of the booth. “Hey,” he said to her, not knowing what else to say. Maya frowned.

“I’m glad you came,” she said, her voice sounding broken and very unlike Maya. She was usually so happy, but she sounded defeated. Like she had been completely beaten down.

“Of course,” Zig put his hand on the glass. She raised her non-shackled hand and placed it against his.

“Were they yours?” she asked, not angry but exhausted.

Zig raised an eyebrow. “What?”

Maya looked over at the officer by the door before whispering. “The drugs. They were under my bed.”

Zig felt like his world was imploding. He was the reason Maya was locked up like this. She had found his drugs underneath her bed and got caught for having them. There was half a kilo in there and he knew that meant big time for her. This was all his fault and he didn’t know how to fix it.

“Maya…why?” he asked. Ms. Matlin had told him she was being tried for drug trafficking as well as possession. She was selling them? They must have found some sort of money for that conviction.

“I thought you were going to get hurt!” she whisper-yelled. “I was going to give you all the money to give to your boss or whatever. I don’t know how they knew. I was discreet.”

Zig made a ‘shh’ noise into the phone. “I understand. This is all my fault, Maya. I’ll tell them that. I’ll tell them they were my drugs and that I forced you into doing it. I’ll tell them right now.”

“Shut up!” Maya yelled back. She took a deep breath. “If you tell them, we’re both going to go down for this. It doesn’t matter what you say. They’re still going to punish me. Zig, please don’t…I love you.”

Zig wanted to fight but he had none left in him. Looking at his beautiful girlfriend as a shell behind a glass wall was killing him. He knew he should be the one back there but there she was. They were his drugs and he had to make this right.

“I’m going to kill Rodney,” he whispered into the phone. Maya shook her head.

“Please Zig, don’t do anything. I’ll be fine. I promise. We’re going to figure this out. Just don’t do anything stupid,” she gave him a tearful look. He could see her hand holding the phone so tight that her knuckles turned white. Zig put his hand back on the glass and she gave him a sad smile.

“I’m going to get you out of there. I promise,” Zig told her with determination.

Maya opened her mouth but the officer by the door whistled loudly at her. “I have to go,” she told him. Zig nodded, even though he wasn’t finished. He didn’t want to see them take her away from him.

“I love you,” he said in a shaky voice while the officer walked over and removed the cuff that was attached to the table. He hooked it back on her open wrist. Maya looked at him with the saddest eyes he had ever seen. She kept turning to look until the officer shut the door behind them when she was out of the room.

\-----

Grace wasn’t expecting the knock on her door at seven at night. She didn’t know who was looking for her but she was the one to answer it. She was greeted by Tatiana’s smiling face in front of the door. The blue-haired girl rolled her eyes, ready to shut the door in her face.

“What do you want?” she asked, exhausted. She was too tired of all of this with Tatiana. She was always there wherever she turned. Along with her came the fear of Zoe’s infidelity. Zoe becoming bored with her and moving on to someone more interesting like Tatiana. It made Grace hate herself but they were really thoughts she couldn’t get out of her head.

“Can I come in?” the girl in front of her asked. Grace shook her head and stepped outside instead.

“You’re not going into my house,” she insisted, leaning against the door. She looked Tatiana up and down curiously. “Why are you here?”

Tatiana laughed. “I’m not here for your girlfriend. I’m here with a message you can give your friend.”

“What friend?” Grace asked, ignoring the comment about Zoe. She wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of knowing she was concerned about it.

“Zig. I don’t trust Zoe to pass on this message,” she began. She looked Grace up and down. “Tell your buddy that Rodney’s looking for the stuff. And if he doesn’t get it, he’s coming back for him like he did Maya.”

Grace rolled her eyes. “Why are you telling me this? Shouldn’t you be telling Zig? Or do you not like doing your own dirty work?”

“It’s how this shit works. Up front threats are too…risky,” she explained. She picked at her nail. “Just remind him what happened to Maya.”

“What happened to Maya?” Grace requested. Tatiana shook her head.

“By the way, your girl is a cheater,” she changed the subject.

“Zoe? You’re a fucking liar.”

Tatiana laughed. “Whatever you want to believe. Just remember this when something better comes along.”

Grace was preparing a barking reply, but Tatiana walked off before she could get a syllable out. Instead, Grace went back into the house and sighed. She didn’t know what was going on with Maya, but she was afraid. It was something different that she wasn’t used to. Nothing scared Grace Cardinal. But hearing her threaten Zig was terrifying. She knew what Tatiana and her friends were truly capable of. Knowing Zig was in their sights was horrifying.

The blue-haired girl went to her bedroom and sat on her bed, trying to think of something to do. She would have to tell Zig, of course. But what about Zoe? She was also worried that Tatiana was telling the truth. What if Zoe was cheating on her? The best thing she could do was ask. Grace was always up front like that.

But could she ask? Or did she have nothing to worry about?


	8. Palm To Palm

**Day 22**

It was Monday morning and Zoe sat outside the courthouse. Ms. Matlin had allowed her to come to Maya’s bail hearing after she explained that she wanted to show Maya moral support. She was just waiting for Ms. Matlin and Zig to show up before they went inside. Zoe was nervous that the judge wasn’t going to award Maya bail and she would be stuck inside until her hearing. Even if they weren’t close, she still didn’t want to see someone like Maya trapped inside a juvenile detention center for any longer than she had already been.

The two people she was waiting for walked up and Zoe stood from the bench she was sitting on. “Thank you for letting me come, Ms. Matlin,” she thanked with a smile. If the woman’s face was an indication of how bad things were with Maya, Zoe felt the hope she felt for the other girl dwindle.

Zig looked less sad, but his face was still emotional. He looked angry in a way that seemed like he was trying to conceal it. His efforts were useless, Zoe concluded, seeing that his face was almost red. He looked at the courthouse like it was an enemy that he could take down single-handedly. With his face like that, Zoe didn’t know if she would ever tell him that she knew who had put Maya there.

They entered the courthouse and after going through various metal detectors, they entered the courtroom. There were other groups of two or three people littered throughout the rows of benches. The judge was hearing multiple bail hearings and everyone had to wait their turn. Various convicts got shuffled in and out for half an hour before it was Maya’s turn. Zig stood up when she was practically pushed into the courtroom. Ms. Matlin grabbed his hand and he sat back down.

Zoe had never seen Maya look so worn down and sad. Her face was raw from crying and her shoulders were heavy with exhaustion. Her two wrists were clasped tightly together with a pair of handcuffs. Unlike a number of the people before her, she didn’t have a long chain linking them to her ankles. Maybe that was a good thing?

Half of what they were talking about was logistical and Zoe had no idea what they meant. Maya didn’t even talk. It was only her tall, redhead lawyer and the judge going back and forth with legal jargon. The brunette wanted to get a good look at Maya but she wasn’t able to. It felt like forever while the two adults talked and they all sat there. Finally, her lawyer whispered to Maya to stand.

It was obvious that Zig was ready to burst up from his seat at any moment. There was no way he understood what they were saying, but how he looked so intently made it seem like he did. He was on the edge of his seat with fear and hatred gleaming in his eyes. It made guilt travel up Zoe’s body until she was nauseous. She knew why Maya was here and she didn’t even have the courage to tell Zig.

“Well, Miss Matlin…” the judge began, eyeing Maya closely. “This is quite the hefty charge for a girl like you. You are aware drug trafficking is a serious crime?”

Zoe leaned in while Maya spoke. “I know,” she nodded, her voice barely coming out as a low grumble. It sounded like she hadn’t spoken in days and wasn’t expecting today to be any different.

The judge looked down at her, all pity in his face dissolving when he heard her noncommittal answer. “Your proposed surety is here?”

Ms. Matlin stood. “That would be me.”

The judge looked her mother up and down with an inquisitive eye. He looked back to Maya and sighed. “You don’t have any prior charges,” he stated, though everyone in the room already knew that. He looked back at Maya’s people and Zoe felt like his eyes were prying her open. She knew the truth. All she had to do was tell Maya’s lawyer and maybe this would be sorted.

“That being said, the excessive amount of contraband you had in your possession gives me pause. Trafficking like this has a minimum sentence of two years, Miss Matlin. It is because of this that it is my decision that we will adjourn this session for two days while you come up with a statement that proves why you should be released. If you do not come back with a personal statement, I will be forced to assign no bail and you will be detained until your hearing.”

Everyone took a deep intake of breath to feel the weight of the judge’s words. Maya wouldn’t be leaving for at least two more days. Zoe watched as Zig’s hand curled into his fist and she put her own hand on top of his. He looked at her and she could see tears in the corners of his eyes. She rubbed his upper arm. They both looked back as Maya was escorted out of the courtroom.

“It will be okay,” Zoe whispered, though the weight of her lie made those words feel both empty and fake.

\-----

When he arrived at school, Miles couldn’t find Zig anywhere. He had been planning all weekend what he was going to say to the other boy and now he couldn’t find him. He had heard of Maya’s incarceration as everyone had and that might be what was keeping him from school. It was a bit disappointing for the rich boy who had a complete script in his mind of what would happen when he saw Zig.

Instead, he was destined to spend the rest of the day waiting for the next when he could confront him. He didn’t know what else he was going to do, especially during lunch when he planned on doing his noble deed.

By that point he had nothing. It wasn’t until that moment that he realized he was missing a friend to sit with at lunch. Zoe was gone too and regardless, she was too invested in her relationship with Grace to notice him. Maya and Zig were obvious no’s, even when she wasn’t behind bars. Then there was Tristan. He hadn’t seen his ex-boyfriend much after their failure of a date. He had all the things he wanted to say saved up but didn’t say them. He told himself because he was better than that, but the truth was he didn’t have the nerve. Saying something to Tristan meant they were officially over. And while his mind kept saying he was, his heart was obviously not getting the memo. Especially when it would start racing whenever he saw even a glimpse of the other boy.

Miles sat down at one of the smaller tables in the cafeteria. No one was sitting with him and he was certain he saw more than one person look at him with pity. Or maybe that was because he felt like everyone was staring at him all the time. He never stopped feeling naked in front of the school, so maybe that was why he looked over his shoulder every couple minutes so see if there were really eyes glaring at his back like he felt.

It was when he looked up from his lunch and glanced in front of him that he saw Tristan. He saw him at a table across from him with a group of kids that Miles knew but never truly met. There was Rodney, Lola’s boyfriend, the girl Tatiana, and then a guy with glasses he assumed was the kid Dougie that Lola had mentioned. With them sat Lola and Tristan.

Miles eyes immediately locked onto Tristan. He watched as he talked to the other people, laughing and smiling. He seemed to be attached to Dougie in the same way Lola was with Rodney. It was strange to see and made Miles curious. His eyes followed the boy’s lips as they curved into smiles and laughs. He continued to watch even as they puckered and Dougie placed his own on them.

Seeing that made Miles clench his fists and looked down at his food tray. He didn’t even know that Tristan had moved onto someone else. He moved on so quickly and that made Miles angry. Why was he allowed to move on while Miles was stuck pining after him despite everything that went down with them? He repeated over and over that he was over him, but watching him with someone else had its way of making his chest ache.

He couldn’t even finish his lunch after that. He stood from his table and walked over to the trashcan that sat directly beside the group’s table. When he pushed the remaining food into the garage, the bin made a loud crunching noise that made everyone at the table look up at him. He locked eyes with Tristan and watched as he looked down, shame heating up his face. In that moment, Miles realized this wasn’t what Tristan wanted. This is what he thought he needed to survive whatever addiction was eating him up.

Miles opened his mouth to say something, but closed it immediately. Instead, he sighed and walked away to put his tray on the rack.

\-----

Zig and Zoe left the courthouse in silence. Ms. Matlin offered them rides to school but both declined. It appeared that Zoe wanted to talk to him about something and he was sure it was something she didn’t want to say within earshot of Maya’s mother. So with a wave, they watched her leave. When she was gone, Zoe turned to him.

“I have to tell you something,” she said in barely a whisper. Zig looked at her curiously, not sure what this could be. He was almost certain it had to do with Maya and the trial. If it did, it made him feel instant resentment. If it could help, why didn’t she say it yet?

“Yeah?” he asked, practically cringing while he waited for her to admit what she knew.

Zoe took a deep breath and looked at her feet for a moment. It looked as if she was gathering the courage to say something she knew he wouldn’t like. “I know who tipped the police off that Maya had the drugs,” she whispered with her eyes squeezed shut.

Zig’s eyes widened a little and he grabbed her arms gently to get her to look at him. She looked up and he could see the sorrow in her eyes. She didn’t want to tell him but she still was. If he yelled at her, he knew it would make her less likely to finish her story. It didn’t matter how angry he was that she had kept this information, it was in his best interest to stay quiet and wait for her to continue.

“It was Dougie,” she revealed, looking away for a second. She was stirring up the courage to look back up at Zig.

Zig didn’t know why he didn’t already suspect that. They were the ones who gave him the drugs Maya must have found. That meant she was selling their drugs on their turf. It was no wonder they wanted her locked up. Even if he saw the logic, that didn’t take away the rage bubbling beneath Zig’s skin.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” he asked, taking out his anger at Zoe. He knew he shouldn’t do it, but he didn’t have Dougie and Rodney in front of him to attack. Zoe shrunk down and it made him feel guilty for it. She must have been scared to tell him for this very reason.

She sighed and he saw tears prickle at the corners of her eyes. “I don’t know. I was scared. Tatiana…she told me and I was just scared.”

It sounded like something Tatiana would do. She was never one for upfront action. She liked to tell someone who was close to the person she was screwing over about it after it happened. She must have decided Zoe was that person. Zig couldn’t blame Zoe for being afraid. Tatiana wasn’t the warmest person. Just talking to her for made you feel threatened.

“Zoe,” he looked into her teary eyes. “You need to tell Maya’s lawyer. This could help Maya’s case.”

She shook her head. “It will be my word against Tatiana’s. It’ll sound like I’m grasping at straws. I know how this thing works.”

Zig knew she was right. If they brought Zoe’s evidence to the court they would deem it hearsay. She would need concrete evidence that this conversation went on. That would only make Maya’s case harder. It would look like Maya wasn’t sorry for what had happened and she was just looking for someone to lie for her to get her out. They had to approach this evidence the correct way.

“Okay, okay,” Zig nodded, looking away as he tried to think of the way to go about this. “You need to get more from Tatiana. If you know her better they might believe you better. I mean, it would look real if you betrayed your girlfriend or something.”

“I’m dating Grace. What do you want me to do?” she asked in disbelief.

Zig felt bad for saying this. He didn’t want to kill two of his friend’s relationship. But he cared more about Maya getting out of juvie as soon as possible. “It’s temporary. Just be with Tatiana, make everyone know you are, and then you can break up. For Maya, Zoe.”

Zoe sighed and nodded. Zig smiled a sad smile and hugged her. She hugged back and he felt her shiver with unshed tears. He didn’t know if he would ever wipe this from his conscience. But it was for Maya and that’s what he told himself when Zoe shook, holding back tears.

\-----

After ditching the rest of school to go to his house, Tristan realized Dougie’s couch was unfathomably comfortable the second he was pushed on it. He only got to enjoy the comfort before Dougie was hovering on top of him and bringing their lips together in a heated kiss. Dougie was a good kisser, no matter how much Tristan wanted to deny it. Telling himself that he was bad would be enough to allow Tristan to keep up with the charade that he was only doing this for drugs. That there wasn’t a part of him deep down that liked something about the other boy.

They kissed like that for a long enough time that Tristan was gasping for breath every time they pulled away. He couldn’t help but compare his lips to the last person he kissed. Miles wasn’t as gentle but there was something about that Tristan liked. He did like how Dougie skin wasn’t as clean shaven as Miles. He didn’t have a beard or anything, but Tristan could feel the prickles against his skin that he enjoyed for some reason he couldn’t explain. Deciding who was better made Tristan confused. The obvious answer was Miles, since he was only giving away his lips and body to Dougie for drugs. That didn’t mean there weren’t things about him that he liked. To say there weren’t would be a massive lie.  

After minutes of their languid make out session, Dougie pulled away and Tristan sat up against the arm of the chair. “I have something for you,” Dougie said, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a baggie full of pills. Tristan hadn’t finished the last ones he gave him and he was about to speak up when Dougie pulled two pills from the bag.

“Are you trying to get me high?” he asked in a voice that was teasing, though he didn’t know if it truly was. He didn’t like feeling like Dougie only wanted him when he was high. It only contributed to the sinking feeling he got whenever he was around the other.

“Just open your mouth,” he chuckled and Tristan listened. He set the pill on his tongue and Tristan swallowed it down. Dougie took the other for himself and brought their lips back together. They continued to kiss as the pills took their effect.

Tristan could feel the drugs started to work and that was when their kiss escalated. He didn’t know he would ever enjoy high sex but he was obsessed by the time it was over. He panted against Dougie’s lips as they finished with a laugh in the back of his throat. He didn’t know why he was laughing but he couldn’t stop it. It appeared that Dougie couldn’t either.

“Was that good?” the boy on top of Tristan ask. Tristan could only nod and pull him into another kiss.

They parted after a few moments that allowed them to get their breaths to even out. Tristan picked up his clothes and started to redress. It was when he was pulling his shirt on that Dougie brought something up that made Tristan pause.

“You know Maya Matlin, right?” he asked nonchalant. Tristan knew from his voice that it wasn’t as casual as he was trying to sound.

“We’re friend. Why?” he sat up on the couch and looked over at the boy with curious eyes.

“Well, she’s in juvie. We need you to go visit her and see if she knows anything about who put her there,” Dougie took his glasses off and cleaned them in another attempt to look non-threatening. There was so much information that made Tristan go silent for a brief minute.

“Maya Matlin is in juvie? What could she do to get there?” he asked, trying to put the pieces together. They linked up quickly and he looked at Dougie with narrowed eyes. “You had something to do with it.”

“Tris, listen. I had to do it. Otherwise the boss was going after me. He’s still pissed about me paying for your supply. So I’m asking you to do this for me as a thank you,” he said, looking at Tristan with eyes that begged for compassion.

“I can’t believe you did this to her,” Tristan stood up from the couch and crossed his arms. “She doesn’t deserve this. I know Rodney and Tatiana are shitty, but I thought you were different. You know she didn’t do anything to go there.”

“Except she did,” Dougie interrupted, standing as well. He put a hand on Tristan’s upper arm, which he shook off the second it was on him. “She was selling on our turf. We had to do something or the boss would have offed her himself. This was the nicest option for her, I promise.”

Tristan couldn’t help but think of his old conflict with Maya. He didn’t know if he was completely over it, despite how their friendship had rekindled. Still, she didn’t belong in juvie even if she was selling. He didn’t know where she could have gotten the stuff from but there was still a bad feeling surrounding it. Maybe that meant she deserved it? He was completely messed up about this.

“This is good, Tristan. She is safe in there from anyone else coming after her for selling. I promise she’ll be okay. Just trust me?”

Could he trust him? Dougie was the most trustworthy out of all his friends. He wouldn’t do anything like that without good reason. Maybe Maya was doing something wrong. It wouldn’t be the first time. Tristan could go visit her and ask her. He would tell Dougie he was going it for them, but he could have his own motive. See if he thought she was really guilty.

“Fine. I’ll do it.”

\-----

Grace grabbed her books from her locker and turned when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She grinned when she saw it was Zoe. But her smile slowly fell when she saw the mascara stains on her cheeks.

“What’s up, Rivas?” she asked, worried. She thumbed away a tear that was sitting on Zoe’s cheek.

“It’s Maya…” she whispered, looking down. It appeared that she wanted to say something else but settled on the easier option. Grace was too scared to ask what she was holding back. Instead she pushed some hair out of Zoe’s face and grabbed her chin.

“Do I want to ask how the hearing went?” she asked, bringing Zoe’s face back up so she could get a good look at her. She wasn’t crying anymore but the tears were still visible where they had been in her eyes. Grace frowned and look at her with a sympathetic expression.

“I don’t even like her that much but seeing her walk out with the handcuffs on…it was just terrible,” she whispered. Grace released her chin and moved so she could wrap her arm around her girlfriend’s shoulders. Zoe leaned into her and sniffed.

They stood there in the hallway until people had filtered out completely. Grace wanted to tell her that she would be late to class, but decided against it. If she told her teacher what was going on, they would hopefully give her a break. And if that didn’t work, Grace had mastered the technique of forcing herself to cry. She only brought it out in desperate times like this.

“And Zig…he was so angry. I’ve never seen him like that. It was scary,” she looked up to talk to Grace. The blue-haired girl squeezed her shoulders in a comforting sort of way. Zoe looked up at her with thankful eyes.

“Listen to me, Rivas,” Grace turned them so she could look into her eyes. Their brown eyes met before Grace continued. “Maya and Zig are going to be okay. I promise, okay? Don’t worry about them or you’re going to drive yourself crazy. They’ll figure all this shit out and you’ll feel like an idiot for worrying about this.”

That seemed to offer Zoe some comfort as she nodded. Grace pulled her into a long hug that they held for a few seconds. When they parted, Grace placed a soft, caring kiss on her lips. Zoe returned it quickly and looked away with a guilty expression. That was troubling but Grace reasoned that it was because of something she really had to be guilty about. Grace just had to ignore it and pretend everything was okay.

\-----

Maya was escorted back to her cell after the hearing. Once she reached the enclosed space, a new wave of tears shook her body. She wasn’t going to get out. What her lawyer said about it being a short sentence turned to a minimum of two years. She didn’t know if she could survive two years in juvie, especially when she would have to interact with other prisoners.

The tears burned her red, raw face but she couldn’t stop them. It didn’t matter how much she wiped her eyes and told herself not to cry, nothing seemed to make them stop. She felt so run down and stuck and nothing was making it better. She was trapped for who knew how long.

She sat up in her bed when she heard a knock on the door of her enclosed single room. An officer walked in and gestured for her to stand up. “Get up, inmate. You’re being moved.”

Maya shook her head. “My bail hearing isn’t over. Can’t I just stay here until the judge has decided?”

Her words had no weight with the officer. “Can’t keep you in here until that happens,” she grumbled back, walking over to her and practically dragging her up.

Maya stumbled a little as she led her out of her cell and down a long hallway with rows of rooms like the one she had been in. They went through a heavy metal door at the end of the hallway and then she was taken into a dark room with one bright fluorescent light that flickered. Her handcuffs were removed and she was instructed to remove her jumpsuit.

They did another search that made Maya feel utterly violated. When she was deemed clear, they gave her another jumpsuit and she put it back on. She was getting pretty good at doing that. They didn’t put her cuffs back on and led her out of the room.

“You’re in block B,” the officer began as they entered the rows of cells. Maya couldn’t believe that they actually had bars like you could see in a silly movie. She ignored the obscenities shouted at her by the prisoners that they passed. She wasn’t a criminal like them. She shouldn’t even be there. She would have to talk to her lawyer as soon as possible.

They eventually reached what she assumed was her cell. There were three other girls in there and all of them stared at her with disbelief. A blonde like her was being locked up with them. Maya looked too innocent for this place.

 “Here’s your stop, Matlin,” the officer announced, unlocking the cell and entering it with her. She locked the cell once they were inside, completely ignoring the girls with them inside. “You get an hour for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and recreational time. The buzzers outside will alert you when it’s time.”

Maya looked around the cell and nodded. She didn’t know how she would talk to the other girls quite yet. Instead, she focused on what the officer was saying intently. She nodded.

“You’re bunk 3 so bottom over there,” she pointed to the bunk-bed that was across the room from the opening to the cell. “I’m sure the girls will give you a proper orientation.”

Maya felt like she was in a lion’s den as the officer reopened the gate. She paused and Maya looked hopefully. Maybe this all was a joke to scare her. Those happened, right? She wasn’t going to have to stay there until her hearing was reconvened.

Instead, the officer gave her a sad look. “By the way, your drug test came back. Congratulations, you’re pregnant. They’ll bring you to the doctor sometime tomorrow.”


	9. Then Move Not

**Day 24**

They still had two months until the musical but Grace was already beginning to stress out. Her ‘Somewhere’ soloist was incarcerated and her Tony was the boyfriend of the imprisoned soloist. She knew West Side Story was the least important thing going on in the lives of her cast, but the show had to go on. And with the way things were going, their musical was going to be a complete shit-show.

It was almost a month since the production was announced and now she had two more to make everything magically work out. She needed a new soloist but she didn’t know who. The majority of the people she didn’t cast were completely tone-deaf. She would have to go through all the rejects and find the least terrible. It would be a hard decision and a daunting task. She wasn’t sure that she could actually do it.

Right as she was closing her sketchbook and pulling out the crumpled up audition list, Grace heard footsteps clapping down the aisle of the auditorium. It was before school and she had shown up early for the sake of getting work done alone. Hearing someone penetrate her silent bubble made her groan.

“This better be fucking important,” she growled, removing her feet from the back of the seat they were resting on and turning. She saw it was Zoe and her face softened. Ever since Maya’s first bail hearing, Zoe had created a distance between them. Grace didn’t know what it was, but she feared for the answer if she asked. Something was going on and Zoe was wrapped up in this clusterfuck somehow.

Zoe laughed a bitter laugh. “Maya’s hearing is at eleven this morning. I was wondering if you wanted to go with Zig and I. I know from experience that having friendly faces in the room helps.”

Grace really wanted to ask why Zoe felt this attachment to Maya and her case. Zoe and Maya were never friends so it didn’t make any sense that she would be this dedicated to someone she didn’t even like. Grace knew she should be the one who was concerned like this. Maya was her friend and she hadn’t been a very good friend recently. She was being selfish with the musical and her relationship with Zoe. Going to court with them might actually be a good way to show Maya that she cared.

“Yeah, I’ll go,” she nodded. She stood from her spot and walked up to Zoe. She leaned in to give her a kiss, but Zoe turned her head so she caught her cheek. Things like this had been happening for two days now. Any time Grace tried to show affection would result in Zoe shutting her down. Grace wasn’t an incredibly affectionate person, but this was ridiculous. It made Grace two seconds away from stopping giving her girlfriend the benefit of the doubt.

Zoe did flash her a smile. It was more out of thanks for agreeing to go than one a girlfriend would give her girlfriend. “We’re meeting Zig outside after second period.”

Grace nodded. “Okay, cool. I’m going to hang out here until class so you can go tell him that I’m coming.”

“I will. Thank you,” Zoe said with a genuine smile. It was the most genuine thing she had given Grace recently. That felt like a knife straight into her chest. She was more genuine about everything going on with this than anything with them. Maybe she was being selfish, but Grace was pretty sure you didn’t stop being in a relationship when things got hard. Bringing that up would make her the heartless bitch though.

Zoe gave her an innocent wave instead of a kiss as she departed. Grace didn’t wave back and retreated back to her seat. She looked at the audition sheet with a groan. If she wasn’t in the mood to pick out someone who could make her musical a train wreck, everything with Zoe made it ten times worse.

\-----

Tristan had attempted to complete Dougie’s request to visit Maya when he was told she wasn’t allowed any more visitors until her bail hearing was complete. He didn’t know what else they wanted him to do. There was no way he could get to her unless he wanted to break the law. He might be with Dougie but that didn’t mean he wanted any part of this.

Since he told him about this development, Dougie had abandoned him to come up with something else with his friends. It had been a day since then and he hadn’t seen him. He was starting to get nervous that they had something coming for him. His nerves were on edge no matter how many of those sweet pills he took.

By first period on Wednesday, he was crawling out of his skin. He had been popping pills as frequently as he could. Not only was he worried, but he was also starting to feel sick because of that. He was avoiding an overdose, but nothing seemed to work at calming him down. Maybe he was just being paranoid. It was the way Dougie and his friends acted that got Tristan into the habit of thinking a target was on his back twenty-four hours a day. That was how they acted and he must have picked it up more than he thought.

He was practically twitching by the time Miles entered the class and sat in his spot in front of him. Class had been insufferable after their date. He had to stare at the back of his head for fifty minutes a day without the ability to say anything to him. If he got the opportunity, Tristan didn’t know if he could come up with something to say. When it came to Miles, none of his thoughts were eloquent. They were scrambled and emotional. There was no sense or logic behind them.

The anxiety coursing through his veins must have attributed to the insane move to tap Miles’ shoulder. The rich boy looked back at him, his face screwed up in concern masked by anger. Tristan swallowed thickly. The words he said came tumbling out before he could control them any longer.

“I need help,” he admitted in a voice that sounded like he was mindlessly babbling. He didn’t know what had possessed him to say that but he couldn’t take it back. The way Miles looked at him made a new bubble of anxiety erupt from inside Tristan.

Miles shook his head and sighed. “Why are you telling me this?” he inquired. He sounded exhausted.

“They’re going to…Miles, you’re the only one I have,” Tristan’s outburst continued.

Miles looked down for a moment too contemplate his words. “Tristan, I can’t do this anymore. You’re having some sort of bad trip or something. I don’t give a shit. Why don’t you go talk to your boyfriend?”

Tristan remembered that he and Miles made a moment of eye contact in the cafeteria two days prior. It was cold outside that day so they decided to eat inside. He didn’t know that he would encounter Miles like that. Their eyes met until Tristan couldn’t take it anymore. Whenever he caught Miles’ eyes, they were filled with pity and disappointment. They peered right into his soul in a way that made Tristan want to hide for days. He avoided those eyes so he didn’t have to think about what he was doing and where he was going.

“I haven’t seen him since Monday. Miles, please, I’m scared,” he whimpered. This was too deep of a conversation to have before first period English, but he didn’t know when he would get the chance. He didn’t really want to be having the conversation in the first place. His mouth, however, disagreed. It really wanted to talk to Miles like this.

Miles scoffed. “I’m not here to help with your boyfriend issues, okay? Nothing is easy with you, Tris. I can’t deal with it anymore. So please, just leave me alone.”

He didn’t want to leave Miles alone. He wanted to keep talking and get him to help, but he was getting nowhere. Maybe that meant he didn’t need help. He was overreacting. Miles couldn’t help him because he didn’t need help. That was how he decided to rationalize it. All that was left was for him to see Dougie again and he would relax. This entire conversation would be a tiny blip on Tristan’s radar after that.

\-----

Since receiving the news of her pregnancy, Maya couldn’t focus on anything else. Even when she was writing her speech for the judge, all she could think of was her baby. If she was convicted, she would have to have her baby while she was still incarcerated. They would be taken away while she served her entire sentence. She didn’t want to subject her baby to that. That thought made her decide that everything from here on out was for the baby’s best interest, not hers. It gave her a real purpose.

Susan suggested that she bring the pregnancy up to the judge in her speech. He would already be notified about it when the drug test was entered into her file. It would benefit her more if she was the one who brought it up. He would be more lenient when rewarding her with bail. Her pregnancy might even help with sentencing. Maya hated hearing her baby used as a scapegoat, but she agreed nonetheless.

The paper with her speech on it was filled entirely with what she wanted to say. It had given her something to do to distract her from everyone calling her ‘mommy’ all the time. That did feed into her need to get out for her child, but made all of it that more stressful. She was never given a break and all she could do for two days was think that she was pregnant.

On Wednesday, she gripped her paper tight as they took her from the center to the courtroom. They trapped her in the handcuffs and shuffled her outside with Susan. She glanced into the gallery and saw her mom, Zig, Zoe, and Grace. They were all giving her different faces. Her mom had been crying and Zig was angry. Zoe looked scared and Grace was worried. Maya hated herself for disappointing them like this. She was trying to help Zig and now she had mixed him up in all this. To top it off, he was going to learn about their child from a conversation with a sentencing judge.

“Hello Miss Matlin,” the judge greeted her. Before she could return the greeting, he continued. “I believe you have something to tell me?”

Maya looked down at the paper she wrote and set it on the desk. “I do, Your Honor,” she took a deep breath. She wanted to look back at Zig and apologize before she began her speech.

“First and foremost, I would like to thank you for giving me this time to reflect. It was very helpful to be given time to think about what I have done,” she began with a stuffy beginning. It was what Susan told her she should say. Once the formality was out, she was able to start the speech like she wanted.

“I spent the past two days thinking about what I did and how stupid I was to do it. I acted before I thought and that was a mistake. But that was what it was. It was a mistake and I want to learn from it. Keeping me locked up and away from the world that I owe for this mistake wouldn’t help me rehabilitate. Going home would allow me to truly see the mistakes I made and learn from the consequences in a way that is real and not somewhere where I am distanced from them. Granting me bail would let me truly reflect.

“I also require bail because in the days before my trial, I need to be in communication with a specialized obstetrician to deal with my pregnancy,” she paused to wait for the response she was sure to receive from the people behind her. She couldn’t look back but she wished she could see Zig. This isn’t how she wanted him to find out about their child. She wanted it to be sappy and romantic when they were married with steady jobs. Having to reveal it in front of a judge while she was handcuffed and being tried for drug trafficking was the exact opposite of her plan. It had its own way of making her furious.

Once everyone had settled in the gallery, she continued. “I was alerted of my condition on Monday when my drug test returned. It should be in my case’s paperwork. I am only sixteen and this would mean my pregnancy has a large chance to be at risk. I promise from the bottom of my heart that I will attend my court dates. I just want to make sure my baby is well taken care of and I can’t do that in a jail cell. Thank you for listening to my case and I am sure you’ll make the best decision for me.”

She swallowed thickly again as she awaited his choice. The judge’s face looked like he was pondering a life or death question. His brow furrowed and he rubbed one of his temples. A sigh left his lips and he looked up at her, their eyes meeting.

“You teenage girls are going to send me to an early grave,” he mumbled. “All things considered, it is my professional conclusion that you will be released on bail with the terms of house arrest outside of school and your extracurricular activities. You must report to your probation officer every other day until your court date. We will be tracking your every movement and if you violate your probation, I will be left with no choice but to order you be taken into custody. Do you understand these terms?”

“I do,” Maya said the second he finished asking his question.

He nodded at his decision. “Your bail will be set at nine-thousand dollars, which your surety will have to pay if you miss your court date. Understood?”

“Yes. I promise I will be at court. Thank you so much,” she thanked. He sighed.

“And please, use this time to reflect on your actions more. Also, you will be required to see recognized obstetrician. The medical records with be added to your file until the case is closed when they will be destroyed.”

Maya nodded and the judge banged his gavel on the bench to signify that his choice had been made.

\-----

If Zoe was shocked by Maya’s revelation, then Zig was completely dumbfounded. The way his face contorted when Maya announced she was pregnant made Zoe feel for him. No one wanted to hear that they were having a baby through a speech in front of a judge. She didn’t know if he was freaking out about being a dad or realizing Maya didn’t tell him first. Zoe could make a case for either.

Court was adjourned and they had to walk to the juvenile center to wait for Maya to be released. Ms. Matlin told them they didn’t have to wait but the three with her were unyielding that they needed to stay. Zoe’s real goal was to make sure Zig was okay. He had turned a pale color after his confusion passed.

They left the courthouse and walked towards the center. That was when Zoe finally spoke up. “Are you okay?” she asked Zig. He looked down at her with disbelieving eyes.

“I’m not okay!” he practically shouted. Zoe recoiled towards Grace.

“Hey Novak. We know this is shitty but Zoe didn’t do anything,” Grace defended her. Zig sighed and nodded. He didn’t look happy about Grace telling him what to do but he relented and didn’t say anything else as they reached the center.

They stood outside in silence while Ms. Matlin went inside to collect Maya. Grace leaned against the rail that was on the side of the steps that led up to the entrance. Zoe noticed how she shifted in an awkward way that signaled that she didn’t know what to say. It felt too silent to just be standing there without saying anything.

Zoe took the cue and started to speak. “At least when she’s out you’ll be able to talk about this?”

Zig and Grace looked at her with an expression that read that she wasn’t helping. She nodded and pursed her lips. There was nothing that could make this moment feel any better. Yes, Maya was getting out, but under the circumstances that had taken them all aback.

Zig was breathing heavily and Zoe was afraid he might pass out. She thought of more things to say but with a brief glance at Grace decided to be quiet. Right as she bit her lip to keep herself quiet, she saw Ms. Matlin leave the center with Maya in tow. They all stood up straight upon seeing the blonde coming towards them.

Zoe shuffled towards Grace while Zig practically ran up to his girlfriend. They hugged tightly and it looked like her may pick her up and spin her around. That didn’t happen which Maya was grateful for. She still didn’t look like she was doing too well with all of this. It made her look physically ill.

When the couple parted and continued down the steps, Zoe smiled. She didn’t know what to say. ‘How are you feeling?’ sounded too obvious. Besides, it wasn’t something she would normally say. She was sure Maya wanted people to treat her like they normally did.

Grace was the first to speak. “Wow Matlin, you look like shit,” she joked, wrapping her arm around Maya’s shoulders when Zig released her. Maya laughed and leaned into Grace for a half hug.

“Thanks for coming guys,” Maya thanked them, her voice hoarse and sad. Zoe couldn’t resist anymore and pulled her into a hug. The three girls joined in a group hug of sorts.

“We’re all glad you’re out, Maya,” Zoe smiled and Maya smiled back.

Maya hugged them all back and Zoe smiled more. For the first time in days, she didn’t feel the guilt that was eating her alive.

\-----

What Tristan said to Miles earlier ate at him the entire day. He had denied him when he looked so desperate. He looked like he really needed help and Miles had turned him down. He was done playing this game is what he told himself. He played for too long and he was done. He was done with the lying and the drugs and the whole stupid ordeal. Things with Tristan had been easy at first but now they had morphed into a fucked up drama storm. That was one thing Miles did not need.

Still, that didn’t stop him from feeling bad for saying what he did. Even if Tristan was a complicated mess that didn’t mean he didn’t deserve some form of compassion. Miles was tired of finding him and apologizing, but it appeared to be the only thing he could do recently. This didn’t seem any different.

He had no idea where he would find Tristan. When he left school, Miles didn’t see him by the bench where he hung out with his new friends. None of them were there. Maybe Tristan wasn’t lying. Maybe he was really in serious trouble. That split moment of concern made Miles’ heart skip a beat. He wasn’t Tristan’s biggest fan right now, but he didn’t deserve anything bad to happen. Miles feelings for Tristan were still very much intact and that meant he was allowed to be scared for him.

Miles reached the parking lot and saw the car that he remembered was Dougie’s. It was a broken down piece of shit, which helped him identify it easier. No one was in it and it just sat there in the lot. They were at the school somewhere, but obviously not where Tristan knew. It seemed like they didn’t want him to find them. Did that mean Tristan was right? They actually had some sort of hit out for him.

He couldn’t help but walk over to the car to look inside. The second he did he noticed Tristan in the backseat. He was just lying there and wasn’t moving. It didn’t even look like he was breathing. Miles felt a surge of panic overwhelm him and he pulled on the handle. Thankfully, it was unlocked and Miles knelt on the edge of the seat.

“Tristan?” he asked, shaking his chest. There was no movement. His breath quickened when he pressed his fingers to his wrist. His pulse was slow but it was there. “C’mon Tris.”

He grabbed his cheeks and shook his head a little. There was still no sign of him waking up. Terror coursed through his veins as Miles opened the boy’s mouth to check if something was obstructing his breathing. There was nothing. He did see an empty baggie in Tristan’s balled up fist.

“Shit, Tris,” Miles pushed on his chest. He hadn’t realized until he saw a wet spot appear on Tristan’s shirt that he was crying. More than crying, he was sobbing. He pushed his chest like he was giving him CPR. He had seen it done before but didn’t know what he was doing. It looked like the right thing to do.

On one aggressive push, Tristan lurched and threw up a mixture of bile and pills. Miles couldn’t count how many there were, though he wanted to. He was more focused on how Tristan’s breathing seemed to come back to life. He hadn’t opened his eyes and seemed to be unconscious by all counts. Miles’ panic wasn’t gone, but now that he was breathing he had settled a little.

“Don’t leave me, Tristan…” he breathed, “Please don’t leave.”

\-----

Zig rode in the car home with Maya and her mother. He had so many things he wanted to say, but not when Ms. Matlin was there. He needed to wait until he and Maya were alone. Hopeful her mom would understand that the two had important things to discuss. Like the idea that Zig was going to be a father.

He didn’t know how he let this happen. He thought back to all those times they had had sex. They had been safe, right? He thought he used a condom but he couldn’t remember for certain. Maybe he hadn’t, he didn’t know. What really mattered was that she was pregnant and from her statement, was adamant about keeping the baby.

Zig hoped that her plan to keep the baby wasn’t just because it made her trial easier. It sounded terrible to accuse someone of that, but it would make sense. A pregnant teenage convict was a sob story any judge would eat up. It worked on the sentencing judge, at least. If that was why she was keeping the baby, it left a bad taste in Zig’s mouth.

They arrived at the Matlin house. Zig had told Ms. Matlin earlier that he could walk to Jose’s from there. She didn’t question. She hadn’t said anything to him since the beginning of the day. He figured she learned of Maya’s pregnancy the same time Maya did. She knew it was his baby and she was reasonably pissed. Just another person Zig had let down.

They got out of the car and Maya’s mom told her she and Zig had ten minutes. It was an unfair time window but Zig understood the anger. They might be able to talk more when everything had cooled down. He hoped that was before her trial. No one knew what would happen then. It looked like she was going to be convicted and that meant returning to jail. They needed to have a real conversation before then.

“How could you not tell me?” Zig asked the second the door was shut. When he visited, why didn’t she tell him?

“I didn’t know until after the trial on Monday. I wanted to tell you before the hearing but they wouldn’t let me. I didn’t want you to hear it that way but what other choice did I have?” she reasoned, looking at him with sad eyes. She looked like a broken down husk that was only starting to regain life. He hoped that at some point all of the light would come back to her.

“That doesn’t matter,” Zig sighed. He searched for the right words. “We’re having a baby. We’re…having a baby?”

Maya heaved a sigh of her own. “I’m having a baby. That’s how everyone’s going to see it. I’m the delinquent who got herself knocked up. End of story.”

Zig shook his head, cupping both of her cheeks. “You’re not that, Maya. You know that.”

“I don’t really know anything anymore. I’m so scared, Zig,” she whispered. He could see the beginning of tears in her eyes. He wrapped her up in her arms tightly. She felt cold and it was his goal to warm her.

“This is…a lot,” Zig whispered, burying his face in her hair. It didn’t smell like her normal scent. She was even missing her smell. He almost cried as he inhaled the bland soap smell.

Maya hugged him tighter, her arms feeling like a blanket around him. He was petrified the more he thought about Maya being pregnant. And Maya being pregnant in jail. He knew he needed to be strong, but strength was hard to come by. He was comforted by the idea that maybe that meant for ten minutes he didn’t have to be the strong one.


	10. Mannerly Devotion

**Day 29**

It was Monday when Maya was allowed to return to school. She had already visited her probation officer twice and had been assigned an ankle monitor to make sure she was in her house outside of school and after school activities. It was hard to find any sort of shoe to wear with it, so before she left for school she settled on flip-flops that made it clearly visible with her shorts.

She entered the school in the morning and looked over her shoulder every so often to make sure no one was looking at her. She could feel everyone’s eyes on her as she walked through the halls. Everyone had heard of her arrest by that time. She didn’t think anyone besides Zig, Zoe, and Grace knew she was pregnant so that was something she had going for her.

When she reached her locker, she felt arms encircle her midsection. The blonde froze before realizing it was Zig. She had already become very defensive of her belly.

“Hi Zig,” Maya said in a voice that faked exhaustion. Once her backpack was in her locker she turned in his arms to get a look at his face. She pressed a quick kiss to his lips. She was surprised at how little things had changed since her pregnancy was announced. He treated her exactly the same. He didn’t even mention the baby unless she started the conversation.

“Nice hardware,” Zig commented on her ankle monitor. Maya’s face fell and she looked down at it.

“Is it really that noticeable?” she asked. Zig sighed and shook his head.

She knew he was trying to come up with something nice to say. With the shorts she wore and the flip-flops it was definitely visible. “N-No?” he grimaced.

Maya looked up at him with an exasperated expression. “Don’t lie,” she flicked the side of his head, jokingly. He kissed her cheek and gave her a squeeze. He seemed to remember the baby and loosened his arms a little.

They parted and Zig wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “Everyone is going to forget this when something more interesting happens. I promise.”

“Until my trial. It’ll be dug up all over when I go to court and get put in jail,” she replied with a sigh.

“You can’t think like that, baby. We have at least a month to think about that. We’re going to figure out something. This is Rodney’s fault and I’m going to make him go down for that,” he comforted. Maya nodded and looked up at him with a hopeful expression.

“Thank you,” she whispered and he squeezed her shoulders again. This time he rested his hand on her stomach. It felt so protective and made Maya feel love for him she hadn’t felt for him before. It was something entirely new that was a good thing that had happened in this mess that was her life.

They entered the Rubber Room and Grace stood up when they walked in. Maya gave her a sad smile while she walked over. Grace sat back down on their table and Maya joined her.

“Look who’s finally back,” she greeted Maya. Maya gave her a look that told her to shut up. Grace laughed a little bit. “I really like the fashion statement.”

“Shut up,” Maya shoved her with her with her shoulder. 

“How are you feeling? Are the fun parts of pregnancy deciding to show up?”

Maya shook her head. “No. It’s weird. All the books say I should be throwing up like twenty-four seven but nothing. I get cravings and my stomach hurts, but none of the really bad things. Maybe I’m just lucky?”

“I guess you’ve got a big storm coming for the second trimester then,” Grace reasoned. Maya shrugged.

“I hope it’s that glowing period,” Maya crossed her fingers. It was Grace’s turn to give her a shove.

“You’re tough. You’re gonna be okay, Matlin,” Grace smiled at her. Maya returned the smile. She hoped that Grace was right about that.

\-----

Miles watched from where Tristan slept in his bed. After his incident, Miles had been letting him stay at his house. When he explained the circumstances to his mom, she allowed it. It was a way to keep Tristan out of his house if people were really gunning for him. He didn’t know if it would be a long stay but he had an instinct to protect the other boy for as long as he could.

Tristan was still recovering from his overdose. He was in the hospital for a day and Miles only left when the nighttime came. He told himself it was because he wanted to make sure he was okay after he saw him like that. That it wasn’t because there was this feeling that was deeply ingrained in him to protect Tristan. That would be ridiculous.

It was Monday and they had missed school since Thursday. Mrs. Hollingsworth said it was okay and so did the school. It was a major medical issue. Allowing Miles to stay with him was a little harder, but they fought that Tristan needed someone with him. They had until Thursday of that week to get back to classes. After that they would start losing credit.

Miles walked over to the bed when he saw Tristan start to stir. He sat on the side of the bed while he woke up. The other blinked a few times to adjust to the sun light streaming in from the windows. He yawned and sat up in the bed. He had been a relatively good patient. Miles tried not to take advantage of it though. He knew the withdrawal symptoms were going to start kicking in as he spend days without his pills.

“You don’t have to watch me wake up every morning,” Tristan said in a voice that was only an octave above a grumble.

Miles knew he didn’t have to. But he felt like he needed to. Seeing Tristan just lying there and not waking up caused some sort of trauma for him. He needed to be there to make sure Tristan would awake this time. Whenever he looked at his sleeping form anxiety would hit him in large waves. What if he didn’t wake up this time? He couldn’t go through all of that again.

“I know,” Miles whispered. He resisted the need to put his hand on his face. He was cooler than that. He didn’t need to show that vulnerable side to anyone, even someone he had been in a relationship with. That was just something he could not do.

Tristan sat up a little in the bed so he could see him better. He blinked a little more until he was able to open his eyes completely. “This is getting excessive. You don’t have to stay with me. You’re missing school, Miles. I’m okay. I can go home.”

Miles shook his head. “I haven’t seen Dougie or any of them. I want them to be visible before you go back home. They’re less threatening when you can see them. Okay Tris?”

Tristan only nodded. His face was still screwed up in guilt. That was how he looked every morning. Miles was growing tired of seeing that face. He didn’t like seeing Tristan guilty like that. It made him look like he felt guilt for his overdose. Miles knew there were other factors and he didn’t want him to apologize for that, no matter how much it had affected Miles.

Miles put a hand on his cheek. It felt so intimate for him. He wasn’t an affectionate person like this but he couldn’t help it. Touching Tristan meant he was still there. It meant he was awake and okay. He wasn’t lying there in a car with no breaths leaving his lungs.

“You know I never stopped loving you,” Tristan whispered. It was something he hadn’t said to Miles yet. It took him by surprise and he didn’t know what to say. What did you say to that? He didn’t know if he still had feelings like that for Tristan. He knew he cared for him. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be lying there in his bed. He wouldn’t feel the fear that coursed through his veins whenever his eyes closed or he took an extra deep breath.

“I know,” was all he said. He leaned forward and placed a comforting kiss on the other’s forehead.

\-----

Knowing Maya was out of jail didn’t make Zoe feel any better. She still had the weight of Zig’s idea weighing heavy on her heart. He wanted her to betray Grace and try to fall into bed with Tatiana. It would make Maya’s case better, according to him. She would find out more from Tatiana and tell the court about it. That would make Maya look innocent or at least give the judge some sort of doubt about whether or not Maya deserved an overly rash sentence.

She made it through school without any big amounts of worry. It was rehearsal that she was worried about. She had been creating her distance from Grace recently, but hours of having her talk and move her around would be difficult. She couldn’t ignore her when she was doing her job and directing her.

She contemplated skipping but knew her part was too big to skip. She had to be at every rehearsal if she planned on not making this a complete disaster. All she had to do was make it through two hours of full Grace contact and she would be golden. It couldn’t be that hard.

Zoe spent the majority of rehearsal running her lines with Zig. They weren’t even close to being off book. It was looking a little dismal for them. With everything going on with Maya, it was hard to focus on anything else. They went through the shop scene and began working on the final scene. Watching Zig pretend to get shot over and over was a little rough with recent events being considered. It was almost scary and telling. Zoe told herself it wasn’t but there was no denying it was uncanny.

During one of their breaks, Zig tried to approach her about their deal.

“Have you talked to Tatiana yet?” he asked in a hushed tone. Zoe looked up at him with worry.

“I haven’t. No one has seen her in days,” she explained. Her lack of sighting of the other girl was a good excuse. Tatiana, Rodney, and Dougie had been MIA since the day of Maya’s bail hearing. Zoe couldn’t help but feel worried that they were cooking up something particularly terrible. Seeing them would have been more comforting.

Zig didn’t bring it up for the rest of rehearsal, though it still distracted her. She had to be yelled at by Grace more than once about how she wasn’t following her mark. Zoe was seconds away from yelling back when Grace ended practice. Zoe heard Grace call her name but ignored it and left the auditorium as quickly as she could.

While she was storming out of rehearsal, Zoe felt her body collide with another. She was about to apologize when she saw who it was.

“Tatiana?” she asked with disbelief. Seeing her again seemed like an out of body experience. Zoe had seriously considered the idea that Tatiana was gone forever. Her making an appearance blew that idea to shreds.

“Hi there Zoe,” the girl said with that devastatingly charming smile. She hadn’t changed at all within the last few days.

“I have to talk to you about something,” Zoe grabbed Tatiana’s arm and drug her into the closest bathroom. She checked the stalls to make sure no one was in there before she started to speak. “I’ve missed you.”

She was trying to use her flirtiest tone and Tatiana ate it up. “I’ve missed you too, beautiful.”

Zoe swallowed. She didn’t know what she was doing. Why didn’t she just turn Zig down? She didn’t have to do it. She was reminded of all of her and Maya’s prior arguments. They weren’t even friends but obligation was taking her over. It wasn’t for Maya. It was for Zig.

“Where have you been?” she asked, stepping closer to her. Tatiana shook her head while tucking some hair behind Zoe’s ear. That was Grace’s thing. Feeling someone else doing it made Zoe feel dirty.

“That’s not important,” Tatiana said in a husky tone. Zoe really wanted to know, but if she was doing this she had to ignore that. She would make her warm up to her before she started asking questions.

“Okay,” Zoe whispered. She felt immense guilt as she leaned forward and pressed her lips against the other girl’s.

Tatiana looked surprised at first but quickly warmed up to the idea. They kissed and Zoe was surprised by how much she enjoyed it. Tatiana was different than Grace. She felt more experienced, like she knew what to do with another girl’s lips. It completely took Zoe’s breath away.

When they parted, Zoe gasped for air. “Wow,” she breathed.

Tatiana winked and stepped away. She swaggered towards the door, but paused before opening the door. “Meet me outside tomorrow and there will be much more where that came from.”

Zoe nodded and watched her leave. She touched her lips. If she wasn’t a cheater before, she definitely was now.

\-----

Grace looked for Zoe after rehearsal but saw no trace of her. It was concerning, thinking that she ran off like that. Things between them had been weird since Maya’s hearing. They barely talked anymore and Zoe was actively avoiding her. Grace didn’t know what she had done to deserve that. Maybe it wasn’t her. Maybe Zoe had done something she regretted. Tatiana could be right that she was a cheater.

Instead of talking to Zoe, she saw Zig packing up his things. Grace stood from her seat in the audience and walked onto the stage to him.

“How are you doing, Novak?” she asked. He looked up from his things with tired eyes. It looked like he hadn’t slept in days and she could believe that he hadn’t. With everything happening with Maya, it made sense that he was tired. All of it was happening so fast and Grace was sure he was getting whiplash.

He heaved a heavy sigh. “Good? I don’t know. She’s out of jail and that’s something, right?”

Grace nodded. He wasn’t wrong. Things had calmed down considerably now that she wasn’t locked up anymore. That didn’t mean everything was over though. Her trial was coming up within the month and things were looking pretty bleak. It was a minimum two year sentence for what she was convicted of. That meant many things, including her having to have her baby and give it to Zig until she finished her sentence. That was reasonably terrifying for the boy.

“You know you don’t have to pretend to be okay if you’re not?” Grace suggested. He stood up straight and put his backpack over his shoulders.

“I can’t act upset in front of her. She’s already going through enough right now. A boyfriend who’s acting like a chick is something she doesn’t need,” he responded. Grace gave him a sympathetic look.

“Being scared about your girlfriend and baby mama going to jail is a reasonable fear. Especially seeing that she is your baby mama,” she persisted. Zig looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath that made his entire torso expand.

“I know she’ll be involved but if she’s in jail I’ll basically be a single dad. I can’t do that while I’m still going to school. I’ll have to drop out,” he said in a voice that was obviously panicked but trying to play it cool. Grace put her hand on his upper arm.

“You’re not going to have to drop out. Besides, they’re gonna get Rodney for this. We all know that this is because of him. We just have to get him to admit it,” she said in an attempt to comfort him. Zig looked down at her with sad eyes.

“How are we going to do that?”

Grace wasn’t completely sure how they would. Rodney was a hard person to catch. If you were close to his trail, he would disappear. That was what was happening right now. The three idiots were close to being caught so they went into hiding. No one knew where they were. It was almost impossible to follow their trail when they were so good at covering their asses.

“This is all typical for him. We just have to be a step ahead of him,” she explained. She didn’t know how they would do that but it sounded like the best thing to say. Zig was good at that kind of thing so she was sure he would come up with something.

“A step ahead of him…” Zig mumbled and Grace hope that he was already thinking of something.

“You know I’ll help you, okay?” she looked at him seriously. He nodded and flashed the first smile she had seen in days.

\-----

After his talk with Grace, Zig was focused on getting ahead of Rodney in this whole ordeal. He had to figure out what his next move would be. He had spent so much time with him that he knew his strategies. That gave him a leg up against him. He just had to focus and think of what Rodney would do.

He got to Jose’s and sat down on his bed. He opened up his laptop and tried to write something on Word. It was a way to get his ideas about this whole thing out. He would delete it immediately after but it was a more secure way then writing this all on a piece of paper. He didn’t need Jose finding that in his room.

He closed his eyes while he thought. Rodney was very much about subtle action. All of them were. He wouldn’t just go into a place with guns blazing. He fell under the radar and carefully dissected a situation. He would make a decision like he was playing a game of chess. That was why being a step ahead of him was so hard. Every single movement was so meticulously constructed in a way that no one would ever guess.

Maybe he would choose the least threatening member of his group to do his dirty work? That left Zig with the inquiry of who he would choose. He could make a case for both Dougie and Tatiana. Dougie looked dorky and unassuming. He had a face that authority figures and students alike trusted. But Zig didn’t know if he was capable of making extreme choices. That was where Tatiana came in.

She was sneaky like a snake. She was very deliberate in her choices of who to talk to. She would find someone vulnerable and squeeze the life right out of them. They were usually lesbian or bisexual girls who were just figuring out their sexuality. That was where Zoe came in. She had found an interest in Zoe that made her a valuable asset. Zig just had to make sure Grace didn’t find out about that.

Zoe seemed like the person to talk to. She could infiltrate their circle and figure out their plans. Zig could ask her for what they were doing and make his move accordingly. He didn’t know what his move would be yet. Violent action appeared to be the most promising option. He was focused on making Maya and his baby safe. He would go to any lengths to do that.

He started thinking of that and he couldn’t get it out of his head. He was so scared. He was scared for Maya and he was scared for the baby. He wasn’t ready to be a single father who raised their baby while Maya was locked away. He knew nothing about parenting and all of this was happening too fast. He wanted to be a dad, but not now. He wanted to be in a good place before he thought about raising a kid.

All these thoughts motivated him to open up the internet. He switched to private browsing, seeing that Jose didn’t know about Maya’s pregnancy yet. He knew he should tell him but he was scared. Everything that was going on made him scared that Jose would kick him out. He couldn’t handle that. Not again.

He opened up Google and tried to think of what he should search. He had so many scrambled thoughts that he could control. He finally decided on ‘what’s it like to be a single father at seventeen?’ An abundance of single parenting websites popped out. As he browsed through them, he realized the majority were for single mothers. There were a few teenage single mother links but nothing that fit his search. He groaned.

He went back and typed ‘single teenage dad.’ Some of the same links popped up and he scrolled through the new ones that came up. There was a selection of ones about single dads. They were all about divorced single dads. They were closer to what he wanted but nothing that really applied to him. But how common was it for a teenage boy to raise his kid alone while the mother was in jail?

That made him clear his search and enter something different. ‘Minimum sentence for drug trafficking,’ was what he searched next. He opened some of the links and saw that they all agreed on two years if she was selling at the school. That gave him an idea.

What if he could prove that she wasn’t selling at the school? Even if she had been, he could still instill some sort of doubt. A year was still terrible but it was less. He wouldn’t be alone with the baby nearly as long.

If they were able to get Rodney into court, she could be charged with a simple possession charge. That had a maximum of six months in jail. It wasn’t ideal but she would be out of jail before the baby. That was the most glamorous option. All he needed was to catch Rodney and they might be able to be a family for their child’s entire life.

\-----

 The day for Tristan had been uneventful. Miles and him sat in the other’s room and worked on the homework they had been sent by their teachers. They would have aimless conversations that didn’t evolve into anything. It was a day full of sitting and leaving the bedroom only for meals. It wasn’t that Tristan minded much. He loved being around Miles even if they weren’t speaking.

Tristan was grateful that Miles was the one who found him. He was just glad someone found him. By the time he had swallowed the handful pills he took he was already regretting it. He tried to make himself throw up but was unconscious before he got any of them up. After that, all he remembered was the ambulance coming and picking him up.

He was in the hospital as they treated him and he was released to his parents when they allowed him. Mrs. Hollingsworth and his mother had a long talk about Tristan’s safety. His parents agreed that it was a good idea to keep him at the Hollingsworth house until all of this had blown over. He denied them when they suggested both police and rehab. They were hesitant to accept his request, but they did nonetheless.

He was growing stronger every day and he was sure he would be back on Thursday. Having Miles with him was helping him raise his strength especially. It reminded him off why he loved Miles. He came off as this unfeeling asshole but really cared. He cared with every piece of him when you were someone who meant something to him. That included Tristan apparently.

Miles agreed to sleep on the couch while Tristan used his bed. Tristan tried to convince him that he was fine with the couch but Miles insisted. Tristan knew better than to fight Miles on something. He would always loose and he was too tired for a fruitless argument.

Tristan fell asleep at nine o’clock, which was reasonably early for him. He was still exhausted and hadn’t gotten back all of his strength. He felt better but was still under the weather.

He slept until the clock read two thirty-four. He awoke to the feeling of something crawling up his body. It was like ants were running up his legs and arms and he thrashed to get them off. The noises that came out of his mouth were enough to wake Miles up from the couch. He entered the room with his eyes squinted with sleep.

“Tris?” he asked, walking over to the bed. Tristan looked up at him with eyes that he figured must look wild. The bugs were all over him and he couldn’t get them off.

“They’re crawling on me,” he whimpered and Miles pulled the blanket off. There was nothing on him but that didn’t stop the feeling. Miles’ face softened.

“There’s nothing there, Tris. It’s all in your mind. I promise,” Miles whispered. He obviously didn’t want to wake up the rest of the house. He looked towards the door and sighed. Tristan felt the weight shift as Miles changed into a lying down position. He wrapped his arms around Tristan and kissed his hair.

“They’re everywhere,” he said in a teary voice.

“You’re okay,” Miles whispered into his hair. His voice was comforting and almost distracted Tristan from the crawling sensation. “You’re okay.”

Tristan didn’t know if he believed him but he softened into his touch anyway.


	11. Holy Palmers Too

**Day 33**

By Friday, Tristan had returned to school. He came back on Thursday, but left early when he knew he would become a distraction in class. He didn’t know that taking pills for such a short amount of time would give him symptoms like this. It wasn’t like he was some hardcore heroin addict. He simply liked Oxy and had gotten used to taking it all day. That didn’t mean he needed rehab or anything like that.

It was fifth period, another class he shared with Miles, when he started to feel perspiration gathering on his torso. He cleared his throat and pulled his shirt collar to no avail. He tried to breathe through it but it was slowly becoming hard to ignore. Cold sweat was something he had been experiencing for days. He grateful that it was only at night that the crawling appeared. If that happened during school he wouldn’t know how to function.

As the feeling started to overwhelm him, Tristan raised his hand to ask if he could go to the bathroom. The teachers were notified that he was still recovering from a serious medical issue so their teacher just waved him to go. He walked out slowly but practically ran to the bathroom once he was in the hallway. He pushed door open and leaned over the sink. He would splash some water on his face and he would feel better.

Simply splashing water wasn’t enough to make him feel better. The sweat was crawling up his body until the clammy feeling was engulfing him. His stomach was churning and he began panting. Everything was too close and caving in on him. He felt like he needed to escape but he didn’t know how.

Tristan jumped when the bathroom door opened. He was relieved when he saw it was just Miles. He had been too good to him. Every night they shared his bed and he would wrap his arms around Tristan when the feelings became too much. It was comforting and was enough to lull him into sleep if only for a brief amount of time.

“What’s going on?” Miles asked, grabbing a wad of starchy brown paper towels from the dispenser.

Tristan stood up straight and faced him. Miles released a loud sigh and walked towards him with the paper towels. He took the wad and dabbed Tristan’s forehead and cheeks. Tristan was still amazed at how caring Miles was. He showed him affection that he couldn’t believe Miles was capable of. Even when they were in a real relationship he never showed this much attention. Maybe this was like for Maya when they were together.

“You’re missing class,” Tristan said in a shaky voice. Miles smirked.

“Since when have I cared about class?” he asked, getting all the water and sweat off of Tristan’s face. It did nothing to stop the clammy feeling that was eating up his body but it was a nice gesture to wick the sweat from his face.

Tristan took a shuttering breath. “Can this be over yet? It’s getting really old.”

Miles laughed bitterly. “I looked it up. It can take anywhere from a week to a month so you’re going to have to be patient. It will be over soon, I promise.”

Tristan gave what he considered a smile and Miles returned it. Tristan’s smile quickly contorted into something else when he felt a wave of nausea hit him. He moved away from Miles and ran to the first stall. He emptied the contents of his stomach until his throat and nose burned. Miles stood by the opening of the door. He didn’t seemed to be grossed out by this, which surprised Tristan.

“This is so gross,” Tristan groaned, sitting on the ground and leaning against the stall. Miles looked like he was concealing some form of laughter, which made Tristan glare. He flushed the toilet but didn’t move from his sitting position.

Miles walked into the stall and sat across from Tristan making a noise that made him sound like an old man. Tristan laughed a little and Miles smiled with a look that meant he was happy he could make Tristan happy if only briefly.

Miles reached across their laps to grab Tristan’s hand. Tristan smiled at him, that feeling he still felt for Miles bubbling up inside him. All the help he was offering wasn’t good for Tristan’s reminder to be cool about this. They were friends and nothing more. Friends who just happened to hold hands in a bathroom stall that smelled like puke.

\-----

Grace wasn’t intentionally being creepy. She was watching her girlfriend but not in a stalker way. She just wanted to see what she was doing. It sounded bad when you said it like that but she was able to rationalize it in her mind. She was concerned about Zoe and their relationship. Did they even have a relationship anymore? Zoe refused to acknowledge her and that felt like the end of their relationship.

From her lunch table, Grace watched Zoe go through the line and walk down the steps. She looked around as if searching for someone to sit with. Grace gave her a hopeful look that might entice the girl to sit with her. That felt so desperate and Grace looked down at her tray of food to keep herself from looking like that. She wasn’t like that. She was cool and detached. She didn’t need Zoe to validate her.

Instead of Zoe sitting down, she was greeted by Maya and Zig both slumping down in the seats across from her. At least they were some form of distraction. Whenever Grace felt bad about what was going on with her and Zoe, she remembered that she wasn’t them. Her relationship troubles looked so petty and pathetic when compared to them.

“What’s up with you and Zoe?” Maya asked. Grace sighed and practically dropped her fork on her tray. Maya looked over at Zig with eyes that asked what she had done wrong.

“I don’t know. One day we’re dating and the next I don’t even exist. It’s bullshit,” Grace complained, picking her fork back up.

“That’s kind of Zoe’s thing,” Zig pointed out. Maya elbowed him hard in the ribs and he grabbed his side.

“I’m sure she’ll come around. She’s looked pretty upset about everything that has been happening lately,” Maya reasoned. Sometimes Grace hated the way she spun everything to make it positive. It was shocking that she remained so positive with all things considered.

Grace nodded. She couldn’t turn down Maya’s positivity, especially not now. It was good thing that she could keep a smile on her face seeing that she was a pregnant convict. They were trying not to bring that up. Let Maya be happy before the shit storm came back with a vengeance.

“I hope you’re right about that,” was all Grace decided to say. Maya frowned a little and Grace immediately felt like the shittiest friend ever. She looked up from her lunch and gave her the best smile she was capable.

“Now you’re just being mean,” Maya pointed out with that pout that made everyone apologize. Grace groaned.

“Fine, fine. I am sure you are right. Zoe will come crawling back any day now,” Grace said in a voice with as much happiness she could muster. Maya smiled again and Grace looked at Zig. Zig was the captain of the Make Maya Happy club. He had warned everyone when she wasn’t there to be extra nice. They weren’t sure how her hormones were doing. Grace reminded him it was sexist but agreed anyway.

“I’m going to go grab dessert,” Maya told them, standing up from the table. She squeezed Zig’s shoulder and retreated up the steps to the lunch line.

“How are you doing, daddy?” Grace asked, picking at the remaining food she had.

Zig glared. “Don’t call me that.”

Grace chuckled a little under breath. “Well, you have eight months until you have to really get used to it. I’m just warming you up.”

“Don’t remind me,” he groaned, pressing his forehead against the table, pseudo banging it against the surface.

Grace laughed. “You’ll be a good dad.”

“You’re not funny.”

Grace rolled her eyes. “For once I’m being honest, Novak. You’ll be good, okay? I promise.”

Zig looked at her with eyes that read that he was grateful and Grace gave him a look that told him not to say a word about it.

\-----

After lunch, Maya and Zig walked back to their lockers together. Maya stuffed her books inside and pulled out the set for the second half of the day. “So I have my first prenatal appointment today,” she announced once she had closed her locker door.

Zig was leaning against the line of lockers beside hers. “What does that mean?”

Maya looked at him with eyes that showed her exhaustion with him. “It means I am seeing the doctor at they’re going to see how the baby is doing. It would make me really, really happy if you came with?”

“Aren’t you only like a month pregnant? They can’t see anything, can they?” he asked, confused.

“Well no, but they need all of my medical history and they can give me prescriptions for all the pills I need. I need your medical history too,” she explained with the pout that Zig always fell for.

“Okay, okay, I’ll come. They’re not going to use that ultrasound thing and show us how much the baby looks like an alien?” he asked, cringing. Maya laughed.

“I don’t think so. It’s my first court mandated appointment. I have to get the doctor’s signature and everything,” she groaned, leaning her back against the lockers. Zig chuckled and kissed her shoulder.

“At least they suggested the best doctor around here. Our baby is in good hands,” he tried to comfort her. Maya looked up at him with thankful eyes.

The rest of school for Maya was filled with apprehension. She didn’t know what she would find out during her appointment. It was supposed to be a normal checkup but what if something was wrong? She wasn’t having the normal pregnancy symptoms and she feared that meant something bad for her baby. She only knew about it for days but she already felt an attachment. It was her kid after all.

She waited for Zig at her locker until he came up to her with his backpack over his shoulder. “You ready to go?” he asked, holding his hand out to her. She grabbed it and smiled up at him.

“We’re going to do okay,” she said, but it sounded more like a question. Zig looked down at her with comforting eyes.

“We are,” he agreed. They walked out to Ms. Matlin’s car, which was waiting for them to get in. She still wasn’t Zig’s biggest fan but Maya was trying to get her to warm up to him again. That wasn’t really Zig. It was just as much her fault for getting pregnant. As for the drugs, it was her fault. He didn’t even know she was selling. That was something she knew for certain.

They drove to the appointment and Maya looked up at the building with her nerves creating a ball in her stomach. She squeezed Zig’s hand as he helped her out of the car. They walked from the car into the office. Her mother came with them, though she promised to stay in the waiting room during the appointment. This was something that was just between Maya and Zig.

They walked up to the receptionist. “Hi. I’m Maya Matlin. I have an appointment with Dr. Andersen?” she asked with a smile. The woman at the counter looked her up and down with judgment in her eyes. She let out an exhausted puff of air.

“Here. Fill this out and bring it back up,” she told her, handing Maya a clipboard. Maya knew she was judging her and trying to guess her age. All she did was smile and she and Zig retreated to the chairs next to where her mother hand sat down.

“What does this even mean?” Zig asked as they looked at the form. He pointed to the question that asked ‘does the father of the child have any a history of genetic disorders?’ Maya shrugged.

“Do you have any genetic disorders?” she asked.

“I don’t know!” he exclaimed. He looked at the piece of paper with a face that made Maya chuckle. She took the clipboard back and looked at the rest of the questions.

“You should probably talk to your mom about that,” she said as casually as she could. She could feel his body move up and down with a sigh.

“I haven’t talked to her in so long. How am I supposed to just show up and be like ‘I know you don’t trust me, but do we have any disorders that might affect my unborn child? Oh yeah, Maya’s pregnant.’ You know I can’t do that.”

Maya nodded. She didn’t want to get into an argument about this. She was reasonably sure Zig didn’t have any major genetic disorders. Hopefully her assumption was correct. She wanted their baby to be perfectly healthy and happy. She didn’t know if she could handle a sick baby with everything else going on with her. Especially if she was in jail during the beginning of their life.

The pair finished the form and gave it to the receptionist. They sat down again and Maya grabbed his hand. It took about five minutes before the door opened and Maya’s name was called.

\-----

It was the rest of fifth period that Miles and Tristan were in the bathroom. Tristan was still feeling sick and Miles had to watch him throw up until there was nothing left in his stomach but yellow bile. The bell rang and Tristan convinced Miles he was feeling better. Miles didn’t know if he completely believed him but they still got up and left.

The rest of school went on without a hitch and Tristan did seem to really look better. Miles watched him closely just to make sure he was okay. He knew it was getting excessive but he couldn’t help being concerned. After seeing someone OD and them watch go through withdrawal was enough to make anyone worried about them.

When the final bell rang, Miles went to find Tristan. He couldn’t see him anywhere and was starting to get worried. He texted him a few times while he left the school to see if he was outside. He finally stumbled upon him by the bench outside. With him was Dougie and they seemed to be in some sort of argument. Miles shifted his backpack and walked over to the two.

“What’s going on here?” he asked, standing beside Tristan. Dougie looked up at him with disgust in his eyes.

“This is none of your business,” he told Miles. Tristan didn’t speak up, even when Miles looked over at him with questioning eyes. He looked like he was actively avoiding the other’s gaze.

“Actually, it is. So why don’t you walk away and leave him alone?” Miles retorted, stepping in front of Tristan. He knew he wasn’t getting anywhere trying to convince him to walk away. He stood a few inches taller than Dougie so he was able to look down at him.

“If I remember correctly, you ended things with him. So you have no place in this,” Dougie returned. Miles knew he was correct, but he still took offense from it. He hated himself for walking away from Tristan like that. He needed him most and he just left him like that. He cut him out and watched him fall deeper into that scene.

“Shut the fuck up,” Miles growled. Dougie didn’t stand down like he thought he would. He actually puffed his chest up in a way that made him look bigger. Miles knew he was bigger but he felt a little bit more intimidated.

“What rich boy? You’re some tough guy now?” Dougie asked in a taunting voice.

Miles blacked out while he made his next move. When he came back to himself, he was on the ground with his fists pummeling into Dougie’s face. He could feel bones breaking underneath his knuckles and blood on them. Tristan was tugging at his shoulder in an attempt to make him get off of him. It was useless seeing that Miles was so far gone.

It was when he started to feel an ache in his hand and arms that Miles finally stopped. He panted as he knelt on top of Dougie. His face looked like a huge bloody mess. Fear created a knot in Miles stomach. What if he serious injured him? He wasn’t moving anymore and his face looked severe. A rush of sound hit him like a train.

“Miles!” Tristan yelled. He was pulling at his arms and Miles stood up on shaky legs. He looked down at Dougie with horror in his eyes. That was when he caught a glimpse of his hands. There was a mix of he and Dougie’s blood all over his hands. He stepped back, terrified of what he had done.

“We have to go,” he breathed. He looked behind him and there was no one looking at them. He met Tristan’s eyes, who nodded.

“C’mon,” Tristan agreed. They ran as far away from the body as they could.  They only stopped running when they were out of view. They found themselves in the parking lot, right beside Dougie’s car. It was where Tristan OD’ed and it made Miles pause as he took a deep breath to settle himself.

Before he knew what he was doing, he pushed Tristan against the car and kissed him. Tristan didn’t seem as shocked as he thought he would be. They kissed roughly, their hands tangled with each other. At some point Tristan’s hand found the handle of the door and fell into the backseat together.

\-----

 Zig followed Maya into the doctor’s office. While the nurse gestured for Maya to hop up on the exam table, Zig took a seat in one of the chairs next to it. They took her temperature and blood pressure while Zig sat there staring at the posters that littered the room. There were pictures of mother’s with babies and diagrams that made him cringe.

The nurse smiled at both of them, making sure to include Zig. “Temperature’s normal, blood pressure is great, heart sounds good. You’re looking good. The doctor will be in shortly,” she smiled. The woman exited the room and the heavy door make a slamming sound.

“This place is creepy,” Zig said, looking around once again. “And it smells weird.”

Maya laughed and shook her head. “Well you’re going to have to get used to it because there are a lot of appointments having here. Plus, Dr. Andersen is going to deliver our baby so I’d be extra nice.”

Zig didn’t like to think of Maya giving birth. He knew he should be there for it, but from what he remembered from grade seven health class, it was a horror show. He was too nervous to voice these concerns to Maya. He knew honesty was the best with this stuff but he knew she’d think of it as some beautiful experience. Zig wasn’t as optimistic.

“Fine. I’ll be nice,” he relented. He had some questions for the doctor but he was too nervous. He didn’t want to be that kind of guy. He was just there to support the mother of his child.

“Thank you,” Maya grabbed for his hand. He took hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

The doctor came in only a few minutes early. She was a young woman with too perfect skin and lipstick that was just a shade too dark. Zig felt the need to stand up but suppressed the desire. He wanted to be the cool father and not the nervous wreck that he really was.

The doctor pumped some hand sanitizer on her hands and rubbed them together quickly. She offered her hand for a shake to Maya first and then Zig once Maya had taken the bait. “It’s Maya, right?” she said in a pleasant voice while pulling a rolling stool over so she could sit on it.

“Yes,” Maya nodded and gripped the padded exam table seat tight.

Dr. Andersen nodded as well. “Good. And you must be the father?” she asked, looking over at Zig. It took him a moment to realize she was speaking to him.

“Yeah, yeah. Zig. Zig Novak,” he introduced himself in a nervous voice. The doctor gave him a smile that he knew was supposed to be comforting.

“Well, Maya, Zig, I am Leanne Andersen. I have heard some things about you from the lawyers I talked to but it’s nice to finally meet you in person. I’m sure we’re going to have a great eight months together, yeah?”

She nodded and smiled in a way that was too happy for Zig. He was sure there was judgment about them going through her mind. They were sixteen and Maya was there because a judge ordered her to. The way she smiled felt so fake that it made Zig actually angry.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Maya greeted and Zig made a noise of agreement. Dr. Andersen looked at him with an empathetic look. Her fake smile melted into something that he could actually believe was sincere. It was such a drastic change that it made him look away.

“Well, the nurse’s examination looks really good. You also appear to be very healthy. As for the paperwork, I’m not seeing any conditions that could become problematic. However, that doesn’t mean we’re out of the woods completely. Your age is still a factor we have to consider. You’re too early along for an ultrasound to really read anything so we’ll leave that for your eight week appointment. I would highly suggest keeping track of your temperature, blood pressure, and all those levels. That way we can catch any problem right away. Okay?”

She gave them another smile that made Zig’s skin crawl. This time he diverted his eyes to Maya to see how she was feeling. She looked incredibly focused on what the doctor was saying. He could see the gears in her head turning, hinting that they were in for a slew of questions. Zig sat back in his chair and prepared to listen.

\-----

Zoe ignored Grace every day the entire week. It was easier acting like she didn’t exist then to put on a fake happy face. She needed to decide what she was going to do about this entire ordeal. She needed to continue the charade with Tatiana, but she felt like she was stringing Grace along. Even if it was a fake relationship, it didn’t feel right to drag Grace down with her.

She finally made a decision. She needed to break up with Grace. It was after school when she texted her, telling her to meet her outside the school. She spent the entire time waiting mustering up the courage to say what she needed to. She didn’t want to break up with Grace. She loved her and wanted to be with her. But what was at stake was much more important.

Grace appeared after about fifteen minutes of waiting. She walked up to Zoe with a frown. When she got to her, she crossed her arms. Zoe looked at her feet to gain the strength to have a conversation she didn’t want to have.

“So you finally decided to stop ignoring me?” Grace asked with a blank expression. That scared Zoe. She wasn’t showing any emotion. She wanted her to at least be sad or surprised about this. But instead she looked tired and like she had given up.

Zoe exhaled hard. “I need to tell you something and I really don’t know how to do it.”

There was a silence between them. Grace looked up and laughed a little. “This is you breaking up with me, isn’t it?”

Zoe hated that she had already guessed it. Had she been that obvious? They had only just gotten together and she was already ending things. She didn’t want to know what Grace thought their break-up was about. She wasn’t bi like she thought, or she was just playing a practical joke. None of that was true but Zoe couldn’t say that.

“I think we’ve been moving too fast is all,” Zoe reasoned. She wasn’t completely wrong. At the end of the summer she said she didn’t want to move too fast but here they were. They had already had sex and said their ‘I love you’s.’ It felt fast. She could easily use that as an excuse.

“If this is because you’re not gay or something like that, you can tell me,” Grace insisted. Zoe shook her head. That was definitely not what it was about. She still liked guys, but she was very much still into girls. Especially Grace.

“It’s not!” Zoe stopped her. “It’s not anything like that. I don’t think I’m ready to be in a relationship. I just ended whatever it was I had with Miles. I don’t want to hop into something like this. It’s fun and everything but I can’t just rush into something. I thought I was okay with it but I’m not.”

Grace looked down and shook her head. “I am so stupid. I don’t know why I let this happen.”

“This isn’t about you, Grace. I promise!” Zoe defended. Grace looked back up and her and rolled her eyes.

“You can keep saying that but this is because I trusted you too much. Well, not anymore,” she backed up with her hands in the air. Zoe bit her lip to keep the tears she could feel coming up back.

“Grace…” she whispered.

“This is me walking away, okay?” Grace turned and walked away. Zoe watched her leave and allowed her tears to fall once she was out of sight.


	12. Two Blushing Pilgrims

**Day 38**

It was the last day of September and Zig was not okay with that. As he stared at his West Side Story script, he remembered that he had to perform this in two months. If it wasn’t for Grace, he would have told her no way. He didn’t have time to focus on something stupid like this when he had his own gang drama going on. But it was for his friend and Maya was still amazingly excited about it. He couldn’t turn down one of the only things that made his girlfriend happy.

He leaned back in his chair while studying the lyrics to his first solo. He had multiple solos, actually. That was terrifying. He was squinting at the lines when he heard someone slump into the chair beside him. He looked over and saw that it was Zoe. They were in one class together and she decided that sitting next to each other would be okay. They were over each other completely. Zig was completely committed to Maya and Zoe…well, he knew what she was doing too well.

“How are you feeling, Tony?” she asked, taking a look at his script. He set it down on the table and brought his chair back onto four legs.

“This is for Grace. Right?” he asked but realized he said the buzz word. He didn’t know if he should apologize or something. He was the one who initiated their break-up.

Zoe rolled her eyes but nodded. “She’s lucky I’m a sucker for a good musical. Otherwise her Maria would be,” she made a throat slicing gesture.

Zig smiled a sad smile. He knew she was putting on a happy, everything’s-okay face for him. She had broken up with her girlfriend for him and she must be regretting it. He knew how she and Grace felt about each other. It wasn’t just some petty fling like the majority of Zoe’s relationships were. Zig saw it going somewhere when it began.

“You’re a good friend, Zoe,” he practically whispered. She looked up at him with a surprised expression.

“That was surprisingly emotional for you,” she joked. Her face turned serious afterward. “Thank you though. You are too. Passed all that rough exterior.”

The pair chuckled a soft chuckle in unison. There was an elephant in the room that neither of them were bringing up. Zig didn’t know if it was because Zoe was too emotional about it or if she resented him. She had every right to be angry. But here she was, laughing and joking with him like it was any other day.

“Do you want to practice outside school tonight?” Zig suggested. He felt like it was something he could do for her. They both needed to practice if their recent rehearsals were anything to judge by.

It looked like Zoe was contemplating it intensely. Maybe she was, he didn’t know. It would be nice for both of them to get a break from the tornado of shit going on around them. He could make all the pain he had caused her up and get some help for himself. Was it selfish? It might be. But them being a success on stage was something that benefited both of them in the long run.

Zoe nodded once she had made her decision. “That sounds like fun. If we do it, maybe Grace won’t yell at us the whole time. Or she will but…less?”

Zig smiled and gave her a nod of his own. She was right. Grace had been hard on both of them recently. It was because she was nervous and was working with pent up rage. Zig knew how Grace could get when she was like. It was best to let her blow off steam. If they were good, she wouldn’t yell at them as bad. It had the real chance of making her happy for the first time in a week.

“Cool. So after rehearsal?” he asked with a soft grin. She nodded and he watch as a bright smile appeared on her lips. She gave him a playful shove with her shoulder.

“Good with me.”

For Zig, it was nice that for the first time in days he wasn’t thinking about Maya and the baby. He was talking to someone else. Hanging out with someone else. It would be a nice break to spend the night with a person who was just a friend so he didn’t have to remember that his world was caving in on him. It was nice, if only for a moment.

\-----

“This has to be the last time,” Tristan said as he sat up in Miles’ bed. They were late for school, that was for sure. But Mrs. Hollingsworth was busy in the morning and didn’t have time to make sure they made it to school. That’s why they had decided to spend the morning in bed instead of in English.

Miles sat up too, kissing Tristan’s naked shoulder. “No it’s not,” he stated like it was a fact. Tristan looked down at him with glaring eyes. Miles laughed against his skin, looking up at him with apologetic eyes.

Tristan buried his face in his hands. How had they kept this going for days? It started with that stupid kiss in the parking lot. Then their casual hook up in Dougie’s car. After that, it was all sleepless nights of sticky bodies and intertwining legs. Now it was infringing on their education and real life. The entire setup was problematic from start to finish.

“I’m serious,” Tristan pushed him away and Miles flopped back on the bed with that charming smile of his.

“I know you are,” Miles laughed.

Tristan turned so he could get a full look at the boy behind him. “This is becoming a problem. We were supposed to be in school an hour ago, Miles.”

Miles shrugged carelessly. “It’s not a big deal. We speak English. We’re not missing anything too important.”

He grabbed Tristan’s waist and attempted to pull him down on the bed. Tristan didn’t budge. He was trying to be as serious as he could. The way Miles was just sprawled out on the bed was in no way helping. He was making the idea of staying in bed all day extremely tempting.

Tristan felt the weight on the bed shift as Miles sat up again. He felt Miles’ lips trailing kisses up each vertebrae of his back. It brought shiver through his body and raised goosebumps on his arms and thighs. Once his lips reached his neck, he was completely out of arguments.

“We still shouldn’t be doing this,” Tristan persisted in a hushed tone. Miles laughed against his neck and Tristan felt like rumble against his skin. He smiled and moved his hand back so he could run his fingers through Miles’ hair behind him.

Miles lightly nipped the skin where his mouth was before he spoke. “But you’re having so much fun. It’s made you feel better, hasn’t it?”

Tristan couldn’t argue with that. His symptoms had waned a bit, though they weren’t completely gone. He still felt the crawling and the nausea. But when he was too busy having sex with Miles, he couldn’t think about that stuff. It was a distraction if nothing less.

“You’re claiming that you are the cure for drug withdrawal?” Tristan asked with a laugh. Miles rested his chin on Tristan’s shoulder.

“I wouldn’t go that far but I am very good at calming you down.”

Tristan turned his head and kissed the other’s temple. “What does this mean?”

Miles was silent as he contemplated his answer. He kept his lips attached to Tristan’s skin. Tristan swallowed as he waited for his response. He knew Miles was hot and cold depending on the day. Plus, he didn’t know if he wanted to be in a relationship with Miles again. This was too much fun to ruin with labels and drama.

“Let’s just be Tristan and Miles for a while,” Miles responded. Tristan couldn’t help but agree with him.

“I like that idea,” he whispered. It sounded like they were telling each other secrets despite them being the only people in the house. They could yell if they wanted to, but this was all so loving and intimate. It was a fleeting moment between the two of them that didn’t need to be shared with anyone.

Tristan glanced at the clock. Second period would have started by the time it read. What was another period? He turned completely and pushed Miles back onto the bed. He connected their lips together in a heated embrace, silencing the laughter falling from Miles’ lips.

\-----

Grace kept telling herself that she was over she and Zoe’s break-up. Their relationship was barely a blip in time. It was there one second and then it was gone. She shouldn’t be emotionally attached. It was something silly, like an elementary school couple. That’s all she and Zoe were. Elementary.

But as she stared at her ex-girlfriend and best friend up on the stage, she couldn’t help but feel sad. She wasn’t angry like she should be. She was so sad that it overwhelmed her until tears were welling up in her eyes. But she was Grace. She couldn’t show her sadness. So in the eyes of everyone, she was able to contort it into anger.

What she couldn’t stand was how good Zoe was. She was a born actress and looked like the perfect image of Maria. Her words were so perfectly accented and her singing was like a muse. It didn’t matter what Zoe did. Whatever it was, Grace found it stunning. She was beautiful and talented and everything Grace didn’t know she wanted.

Watching Zoe and Zig make their hands one heart made those tears Grace had ignored for days fall. She didn’t notice until one traitorous one found its way down her cheek. She wiped it away as quickly as possible. No one was around her so they couldn’t see her crying. Zoe definitely couldn’t see it. She was looking into Zig’s eyes with a look Grace had seen herself. Love and devotion. What Grace thought she was promised when telling her she loved her.

The song finished and Grace wiped her cheeks quickly with the backs of her hands. “Okay, good guys. Really good,” she told them. Her body was screaming at her for stopping the tears that needed to fall. She could feel them in her throat and burning her eyes.

“Let’s take a five minutes break guys. Get ready for, um,” Grace flipped through her calendar quickly. “Quintet! Yes, the Quintet.”

People were flocking to her with questions, but Grace pushed passed them. She was making a straight beeline to the nearest supply closet. The bathroom would be too risky.

The closest was right next to the auditorium. Thankfully, it was unlocked and she rushed inside. The moment the door closed, her eyes released the flood gates. The salty tears fell messily across her face. Her mascara burned in her eyes but she couldn’t be bothered to wipe it away. In the midst of her crying, she told herself to pull it together. But no matter how many times she repeated that mantra, she couldn’t calm down.

There was a roll of paper towels in the corner and Grace ripped a handful off of it. She dabbed at her eyes, though whenever she would wipe away tears, new ones would take their place. She knew her nose was running and her eyes were red and puffy. There was no way she would be able to play this off as nothing if she couldn’t stop in five minutes. She looked like an absolute wreck and couldn’t stand it.

Upon looking around the closet, Grace came across a huge white bucket. It was empty and she flipped it upside down so she could sit on it. She did it and continued wiping her tears away. She was starting to calm down, but was still rocked with loud sniffles and body shaking exhales. She didn’t realize she was as loud as she was until the door opened to reveal Zoe.

The Latina just stood there. She didn’t say anything but looked at Grace with those apologetic eyes. They filled Grace with so much sadness and rage. This was just what she needed. Not only was she sobbing like a baby, but the one person she didn’t want to see her like this was staring back at her.

“Can I have five minutes without seeing your face? Please? All I’m asking for is five minutes of peace,” Grace asked with anger in her voice.

Zoe paused a second before nodding. She didn’t even apologize and just shut the door gently. The second Grace heard the clicking noise of the jam closing, her tears were back with a vengeance.

\-----

Maya’s probation officer’s building was completely packed with people when she arrived there. It was the end of the month and that meant end of month meetings. Her meeting was already schedule for that day so she had to wade through the crowds of walk-ins. When she finally made it to the desk, the receptionist gave her an exhausted smile.

“Finally, someone with an appointment,” she said, putting a relieved hand on her chest. “Lucy is waiting for you. You can go right in.”

Maya smiled at the women and disappeared into the ocean of people to get to her officer’s office. Lucy wasn’t anything like she imagined. She didn’t look like any sort of officer. She had pretty blonde hair and a beaming smile. She always seemed to have a smile on her face, which was especially rare for a woman who dealt with convicts all day.

“Oh Maya, come in, come in!” she greeted Maya as the young girl entered the room. Before Maya could do it, Lucy had sprung up from her seat so she could close the door behind Maya. It gave Maya the image of someone shutting out a balloon that was bursting at the seams.

“Hi there,” Maya greeted her with a timid voice. It had been over a week since she had been seeing Lucy, but she still felt nervous. She wasn’t like all the other people that Lucy saw all day. But thinking like that reminded her that every other person who passed through her door felt that way.

Lucy waited until Maya was seated before she scurried over to her computer chair. “How are you doing, Maya?” she asked in her perky voice. She opened up a notebook and grabbed her pen with a pink puff at the end. Maya didn’t know how she managed to get the Elle Woods of probation officers.

“I’m good. I haven’t violated my house arrest, which you already now,” she told her. She didn’t know what to say at these meetings. It was supposed to be a quick exchange. That was what all the movies and TV shows told her. It wasn’t supposed to be a therapy session with a women holding a sparkly notebook.

“I’ve noticed,” Lucy replied while nodding. She scribbled something in her notebook that Maya wished she could read. “But how are you feeling, Maya?”

All Maya did was open the folder she had brought in under her arm. It was filled with sheets that Lucy had given her to complete. They were supposed to help her realize why she committed her crime and realize that it was wrong. The intention was to get her to think about her feelings but it just felt like more homework. Maya put the answers she knew someone like Lucy would want to hear.

She took out the sheet she was supposed to do for that day and slid it across the desk. “Here you go,” she leaned back in her chair once it was in Lucy’s hands. The woman looked it over, but her smile fell into a frown.

“Maya, I don’t really think you’re giving this your best effort,” Lucy said with a lipsticked pout. She set the sheet back on the table and grabbed her pen. Her hand moved quickly as she wrote more things down in her little notebook. “You’re a smart, genuine girl, sweetie. But I see a lot of smart, good girls go through here. Some take it seriously and they are given their freedom back. Those who don’t, well, they end up in juvenile detention.”

This was the most serious Maya had seen Lucy. Underneath all that bubble gum and cotton candy was an actual probation officer. The idea of getting put in juvie because she didn’t fill out some stupid print outs correctly made her angry. Why couldn’t she just show that she was doing the right thing and get through this? She didn’t want to talk about her feelings anymore.

“Okay,” Lucy closed her notebook after she had tucked Maya’s paper into it. “We’re going to give this another try. I will see you on Friday and hopefully we will have more to talk about.”

She handed Maya another sheet. Maya looked at it with a sigh. Still, she looked up at Lucy with a grin. “See you on Friday,” she said as she stood from her chair.

\-----

Despite vehement protests, Miles was forced to go to school. Tristan had gone as far as getting out of the bed while Miles begged him to come back. But Tristan dressed quickly and announced that he was going to school. So with a sigh, Miles got up, dressed, and got to school around third period.

Fifth period was hell with Tristan sitting at the front of the classroom while he was in the back. Since that kiss in the parking lot, Miles wanted to be with Tristan all the time. It was a sensation he hadn’t even felt when they were in a real relationship. It was this strong protective need that came to a head when he saw Tristan with Dougie outside. After that, he was attached. He didn’t know if he was still protecting him or if there was something more.

It felt like the bell was never going to ring. He had given up trying to listen to something about graphs or parabolas or whatever their teacher was talking about. He watched Tristan’s every movement like a camera. How he moved, how his face brightened up when he understood a problem, and how he chewed on the end of his pencil when he was confused. It was like a work of art to Miles. He couldn’t tear his eyes away.

The bell did come at long last and Miles practically jumped up from his seat. He walked to the door and waited for Tristan to walk passed. When their eyes met, Tristan rolled his eyes.

“You are like a dog with a bone,” Tristan said as they entered the hallway. Miles walked backwards in front of him, avoiding people who were walking by him. He gave Tristan a knowing smile.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he shrugged as they continued down the hallway. They reached Tristan’s locker and he leaned against the one beside it.

“You are disgusting. Remind me to tell everyone that if you have sex with Miles Hollingsworth, you are going to get a stalker.”

Miles laughed. He didn’t want to tell Tristan that this was really because he had this insane need to make sure he was okay. It wasn’t just about sex for him. In the morning he tried to play it off like that, but that wasn’t all it was. It was this feeling he had. That he needed to be there for someone who wasn’t him. The only other person who he had gotten close to that feeling with was Maya.

“I’m not stalking you,” Miles said, watching as Tristan grabbed a new set of textbooks out for the rest of the day. Miles had given up on books. Sometimes he brought them, but only if it was a class he really cared about. Otherwise it was a folder. If it was important, they would usually pass something out. That was how high school worked.

“Then what do you call this?” Tristan asked when he closed the door. He leaned against it so they were facing each other. Miles was grateful that the person with the locker next to Tristan wasn’t demanding to get in. He was enjoying this staring contest way too much.

“Admiring? Keeping an eye on you?” he told him, though they sounded more like questions. Tristan’s face turned from fake annoyance to an attempt at a glare.

“I’m a big boy. I don’t need you to watch out for me,” he insisted. Miles nodded. He knew he could. But that nagging feeling inside him told him to watch him. Make sure Tristan is okay.

“Okay,” he said instead of that. Tristan’s face softened but only a little. He walked passed Miles, their shoulders bumping softly. Miles didn’t move from the locker, but he looked over his shoulder when Tristan shouted something.

“Don’t follow me!” he called from only a little way down the hallway. Miles waved his hand passively at him but still didn’t move. The bell was going to ring in a few moments and he finally shifted so he could get to his classes.

Right when he tucked his folder into the crook of his arm, he saw a trio down the hallway. It was Rodney and Tatiana shielding someone. When the crowd shuffled, he got a glimpse of who they were protecting. It was Dougie. His nose was swollen and bruised, as was the rest of his face. He and Miles’ eyes met and Miles continued to walk with his eyes down after that.

\-----

“Why aren’t you hanging out with Maya tonight?” Zoe asked as she and Zig entered his house. She was still reeling with the idea that he had actually ditched Maya to do something with her. He and Maya were attached at the hip to the point that it was odd to see one without the other.

“She has a meeting with her PO today,” he said as he walked into the kitchen of the house. He pulled two glasses out and filled them with water from the tap. Zoe took the one he offered her graciously.

Zoe took a short sip and smiled. “How is that going?”

Zig shrugged as he took a long drink from his own cup. “She doesn’t like to talk about it. She thinks it’s bogus though, I know that.”

Zoe couldn’t imagine what that experience was like. She had to go to a strange place and talk to a stranger about why she shouldn’t be in juvie? It seemed like a system that was meant to fail. She still held a glimmer of hope that Maya would come out on the other side even better. That’s how things always worked with her.

“Sounds like it,” Zoe said instead of all her thoughts. She took another sip from the water and set it on the counter once she was done. Zig set his down as well and pulled his script out of his backpack.

“You wanna get right to it?” he asked. Zoe knew that talking too much would end up with a conversation neither of them wanted to have. She felt some resentment towards him for forcing her to break up with Grace. She knew it and he did as well. As long as they focused and stayed on safe topics, they would be fine.

But even thinking about that reminded Zoe of what she saw that afternoon at rehearsal. She heard crying coming from a closet and didn’t expect to see Grace sitting there. Grace wasn’t the crying type after all. It was jarring seeing someone who was as strong as Grace reduced to tears. It made Zoe feel like the worst person in the entire world.

That strain on her heart almost took her by surprised. She clutched the counter with the weight of the memory. Grace was having a hard time with this just like Zoe was. There was no way to spin it positively. Their hearts were hurting. Zoe knew hers ached almost all day. It was only the small distractions that stopped the pain.

“Where do you want to start?” Zoe asked as she opened her bag and grabbed her own script. Instead of imagining the flurry of negative thoughts filling her head like a snow globe, she looked for parts she and Zig were struggling at. The balcony scene was definitely a trainwreck, but so was the scene after the rumble. Both were full of different emotions that they both were having a hard time tapping into.

As if he was reading her mind, Zig opened to a page. “The scene after the rumble? Right before we do the do?”

Zoe laughed as his explanation. “Yeah. That’s a good one.”

They continued with the scene until they were both laughing at how many times Zoe had lightly hit his chest. Her hits were getting harder with each attempt and he grabbed his chest when he started to feel some pain.

“We should stop. You obviously have some real aggression,” Zig laughed, faking more pain than he was in. Zoe rolled her eyes and smacked him in the chest with the back of her hand.

“You are such a baby,” she giggled, flopping into one of the chairs in the living room. He did the same to the one across from her. They looked at each other for a straight minute before anyone spoke.

“Maya got arrested,” Zoe said quietly, like the weight of what had happened weeks ago was finally hitting her.

The silence came again before something neither was expected pierced it. They both were laughing. It was almost hysterical. Zoe grabbed her side from the pain that was hitting her from the laughter they shared.

“I’m going to be a dad,” Zig added with another laugh. That brought on another fit of giggles from both of them. Zig’s face was red from it and Zoe could barely breathe.

“I broke up with Grace,” Zoe replied.

Another round of laughs punctured the living room’s air as the pair gripped their seats. Their fits continued until the sounds of inappropriate laughter occupied the entirety of the house and, if only for a few minutes, filled the emptiness they felt inside.


	13. Saints Lips

**Day 47**

“So it’s Friday,” Maya said as she jumped onto Zig’s back piggyback style. He held onto her tightly while she wrapped her arms around his neck. She was missing spending time with her boyfriend outside of school. Every day it was school, practice every once in a while, her probation officer, and then home. Her mom had been strict on her No Zig policy since she returned from juvie. Maya feared it was throwing a wrench in their relationship.

Zig tucked his hands underneath her knees to better support her. “And what does that mean?”

It was after practice and Maya had been given an excuse not to go see Lucy. She had tried to put her all into their meetings but she was still having problems getting the point. It was so stupid. She was even contemplating asking for a new officer. But when she brought it up to her mom, she gave her a lecture about not drawing attention to herself. Just keep your head down and do your work. You’ll get less time if you do that.

“We should go out,” she suggested. She didn’t know what she was doing but the idea struck her. No one got in trouble for violating their probation once, right? If they asked, she could just tell them that it was a mistake. That she got stuck somewhere on her way home. It was one time.

“Um, what?” Zig asked, setting her down. He turned so he could look at her, giving her an inquisitive look. “Aren’t you on house arrest? I don’t think your ankle monitor cares what day it is.”

Maya groaned a little. “I’m so tired of house arrest. I want to spend time with my boyfriend. Every time I try to say that to my mom she says ‘you should have thought of that before you sold drugs.’ I hate it so much. Why can’t I have just one night?”

She rested her head on Zig’s chest and he wrapped his arms around her. He gave her a comforting squeeze, which only maybe Maya even sadder. She felt so deprived from everyone and it wasn’t fair. She didn’t want to say it out loud, but at one point she thought that prison might be better than this.

“I know, babe,” Zig kissed her hair.

Maya had an idea that she wouldn’t share spark in her mind. She couldn’t get in trouble if she removed the monitor. It was an idea that was so outrageous that she almost gave herself whiplash. That wasn’t the kind of girl she was. She was Maya. She was a good girl who followed the rules. But if that was true, how did she end up pregnant? How did she end up getting arrested and put in jail?

She didn’t feel like Maya anymore. She felt like this teenage criminal. She was a disappointment to everyone around her. Her mom looked at her with sad eyes every time they glanced at each other. Maya hated knowing that she caused her mom so much pain. Her mother was a good person who didn’t deserve to have a daughter who got pregnant and sold drugs. Her mom deserved the straight-A, cello-playing Maya she raised.

As for Zig, Maya knew she was letting him down. She kept thinking about what she should have done. She should have given him the drugs back or told someone like Jose what was going on. But she sold them because that was the stuff she did these days. It made her a terrible person and a terrible girlfriend. For all she knew, she would be in jail and Zig would be stuck with their kid alone. Now that was something that never stopped eating at her.

Maybe she just had to accept that she wasn’t Maya anymore? She was someone else who she didn’t even know. Things had been like this for a while, but now she could finally face it. She was a magnet for bad things who never learned. She was pregnant, on house arrest, and most likely going to juvie. That wasn’t Maya Matlin. That was someone completely different who she had yet to come to terms with. That was what she needed to do. Not some worksheets that were supposed to make her feel bad for what she did.

“I should get home then. I’ll see you later,” she told Zig. He kissed her and she returned it. As she walked away, her idea from earlier was starting to take shape in her head.

\-----

Zoe didn’t know what she was expecting when she got a text from Tatiana telling her to meet her behind the school after she was done with rehearsal. With her expectations low, she didn’t realize until she felt her body being pressed against the brick wall that this was some sort of booty call.

Tatiana smashed her lips against Zoe’s in a way that she had never felt before. They weren’t gentle or loving. Instead, they were rough and violent. Like Tatiana was initiating a fight between their mouths. Everything was like conflict for her. It was like she couldn’t just succumb to any other form of existence.

“This is why you texted me?” Zoe asked as she pulled her lips away. It didn’t take long for Tatiana to bring them back together in another blindingly intense exchange of passions. Zoe did enjoy it, once she grew accustom to the vigorous way Tatiana practically drug her tongue out of her mouth.

They continued like that with Tatiana’s hands finding Zoe’s waist. Zoe wrapped her arms around the girl’s neck and they stayed locked together until Zoe’s head spun from lack of air. She panted loudly and Tatiana pressed their foreheads together. She was laughing.

“I needed to see you,” the short haired girl whispered, her lips gently tapping Zoe’s when she talked.

Zoe didn’t have a definition of what she and Tatiana were. Their relationship wasn’t real on Zoe’s end, but that didn’t mean she knew what was happening. Tatiana would disappear for days and then resurface with a vengeance. When she came back, she would start something like this. They weren’t together, but what else were they?

“What’s going on between us?” Zoe asked, needing to know what she considered it. Tatiana laughed and moved her hands so she could grab Zoe’s.

“We’re having fun. What else do you need?” she asked like Zoe’s question was ridiculous. She attached her lips to the Latina’s neck and peppered surprisingly light kisses on her skin. It caused an unconscious shiver to crawl up Zoe’s spine.

“Well, I thought this was going som-” she started but was cut off when Tatiana pulled her into another rough kiss. She returned it, though her patience was starting to wear thin. Even if this was a fake relationship, she needed to know what kind of fake relationship it was.

Tatiana finally pulled away when Zoe started to talk between every breath. “Why does this have to be a thing? Can’t we just be having some fun and chill? I’m too busy for all that ‘I love you’ bullshit,” she told her, though she had grabbed Zoe’s hands gently with her soft hands. Zoe was too confused to act offended.

Zoe nodded, speechless. Did this mean they were some kind of fuck buddy? That didn’t seem as committed as Zig wanted it to be. He wanted the two of them to be in a real relationship. One where they shared feelings and insecurities. And maybe everything about Rodney. That was definitely a good one.

“I like you, kid,” Tatiana continued, looking down at their hands. Zoe noticed how she had tattoos on her fingers. She was their age but she could see that she had some shaky parental figures. Or she had done them herself. Zoe didn’t really know. She didn’t know anything about Tatiana.

“I like you too,” Zoe told her with a shy smile. It was the best fake smile she could pull. But the way it felt on her lips wasn’t as fake as she wanted it to. There was no forced stretching or deep inhale. It was something that fell on her lips unwarranted. That action actually made her angry inside.

“So why ruin it with all that? We can just be too girls who like each other,” Tatiana kissed the side of Zoe’s lips. Zoe’s eyes floated closed at the delicate touch. It was enough to make her forget her point temporarily. Her mind prevailed, however, when the lips left hers.

“I want to get to know you better,” she told the other with an innocent voice. Tatiana looked at her curiously.

She seemed to be coming up with some fact about herself that Zoe would like. She clearly decided on one and looked at her with as much of a pout as Tatiana was capable of.

“My last name is Chekov. Like the stupid fucking writer. I get asked if we’re related and we’re not. Is that good enough for now?” the girl revealed.

Zoe didn’t know what to say to that. She had a name now. That was something, right? Tatiana Chekov. From what Zoe had learned in the past, names were dangerous. And that was enough for Zoe to know for right now.

\-----

Miles and Tristan sat together at one of the tables at Lola’s Cantina. They had to walk Frankie and Lola home again and were convinced to stay. The two girls were talking with the additions of Lola’s boyfriend, Rodney, and Dougie. Miles made sure that his back was facing the group. He was already suffering from those heated glares all day.

“He’s looking at you again,” Tristan pointed out, looking over Miles’ shoulder. The rich boy looked up at him with exhausted eyes.

“When isn’t he?” he asked, taking a sip from the drink he had ordered when Frankie decided it was time for them to sit down. He wanted the conversation between Tristan and him to stay on something other than Dougie. They had been able to do it so far and even though he was outside the cantina with them, he wanted it to be no different.

Tristan looked at him with those sympathetic eyes he had. Miles was the one who was supposed to be offering sympathy to Tristan. He was doing much better, but that didn’t mean Miles didn’t notice symptoms he was still facing. He just remembered that mentioning anything to do with the ‘W’ word was strictly forbidden. In Tristan’s mind, they had moved on to a new chapter.

“Aren’t you worried?” Tristan asked. He looked like he had been itching to ask that for days now. Of course Miles was worried. He knew what would happen when Dougie decided to make a move. He and his friends were above just simple punches. He had seen the way Rodney’s pocket always looked heavy.

“Yes, I’m worried Tris. But I have to act like I’m not. The second I look worried…” he didn’t finish his sentence. He stared into his beverage, the weight of his own words taking effect. He didn’t like to imagine what would happen to him. He didn’t want Tristan to have to see him after whatever they did.

There was a lasting silence between the two. Miles could see the gears in Tristan’s head moving to try and come up with something that might help. It was futile task but Miles couldn’t be mad at him for trying. If offering words of comfort made Tristan feel better, then Miles would allow it. It would be wrong to do anything else.

When the silence started to become too much, Miles was the one to speak up again. “This is taking forever. When are they going to be done?” he complained, looking over his shoulder. His eyes fell on Rodney this time, not Dougie. He was the one to be scared of in that group.

“He hurts her,” Tristan said, obviously looking at Rodney too. Not only that, he was looking at Lola. Miles looked at her too. She was scared, he could tell. The way he kept a firm grip on her side made both boys nervous. Miles wouldn’t be surprised if there were bruise marks underneath her shirt where the hand sat.

Miles swallowed thickly. Someone needed to get rid of Rodney. For Lola’s sake and for his own. He didn’t know how anyone could do it though. Rodney was untouchable. Someone had to do something big and fast. Otherwise Lola and Miles were both going to fall prey to his violent streak.

“Let’s go,” Miles grumbled, standing up from the table. Tristan looked surprised by followed him. They approached the group standing around. “Let’s go, Franks.”

Frankie looked at him annoyed. “I wasn’t done talking to them yet.”

“Yes you are,” Miles persisted. He wasn’t looking at Frankie anymore. He looked between Rodney and Dougie with protective eyes. He didn’t want them anywhere near his sister either.

Frankie gave them an apologetic look but joined Miles and Tristan anyway. They were walking and then Miles felt something hit the back of his head. It was brief feeling before he saw black.

\-----

Grace knew karma was going to get her for this. She was going to hell for doing something like this. But as she held a screwdriver to Maya’s ankle monitor, she didn’t care. She had honestly given up caring weeks ago.

“This is incredibly illegal,” she reminded the girl whose foot was in her hand. Maya shrugged.

“I know. But I’m already going to jail,” she said simply. Grace shook her head.

“I’m not going to dignify any of that with responses. I’m doing this because I think it’s fucked that you have to be locked away like this. I am not doing this because I want you to get arrested,” she pointed out.

Grace knew it would be her luck that she would get caught for this. That was why when Maya asked her over she grabbed a pair of gloves she had. They were only winter gloves but they would keep her prints off the monitor. It would almost keep them off the screwdriver she was currently jabbing the bracelet part with.

Maya shook her leg and Grace looked up at her with disbelieving eyes. “That didn’t help five minutes ago. It’s not going to help this time,” the blue-haired girl pointed out.

The blonde groaned. “Why is this so hard to get off? It took them five seconds to put it on.”

“I think because they don’t want people like you taking them off?” Grace suggested. Maya knew she was right and looked away to conceal that fact. Grace smirked and looked back down at the work at hand. It was starting to wiggle but nothing so far.

There was brief moment of silence as Grace tried to focus really hard on the removing the monitor. Maya spoke up when the silence was getting to be too much.

“What’s going on with you and Zoe now?” she asked. Grace looked up at her with silencing eyes. Maya didn’t back down. She shook her foot again in an attempt to get Grace to talk.

Driving the screwdriver into the jam, Grace spoke. “She broke up with me. That’s what’s going on.”

Maya nodded. “I knew that. But you guys can’t be over for good. I mean, you just started dating.”

Grace shrugged, changing her grip on the screwdriver. “I think this is it. I don’t know what I was thinking, being with someone like Zoe.” She was kidding herself. Zoe wasn’t a girl who stuck around for real relationships. She had a history of bailing right before the relationship developed into something bigger than a flirtation.

A frown found its way onto Maya’s features. She wiggled her toes in an attempt to cheer Grace up. It did make her laugh a little and roll her eyes at the same time.

“Well, I don’t believe that you two are over,” Maya persisted.

Grace wanted to go on and on about how wrong she was. She and Zoe were a mistake at best. Grace could consider it as a learning experience if she wanted. Don’t get involved with girls who were flight risks.

That couldn’t get rid of the question burning in her brain. What did she do? What could she have done different? From her perspective, things had been going great. They said they loved each other and even went as far as sex. It was an amazing experience for Grace. Was that it? Did Zoe hate having sex with her? It was all a huge guessing game.

As her thoughts ran wild, her hits on Maya’s monitor became stronger. She kept going and going until the bracelet gave way. It fell onto the floor with a loud thud. The two looked up at each other and Maya’s face broke into an uncontrollable grin.

“I’m gonna get to see my boyfriend,” Maya practically cheered. She slid over and hugged Grace. Grace shrugged her off, not in the mood for the hug. She picked up the monitor and handed it over to Maya.

“Please don’t get yourself arrested,” she told her. Maya nodded and hugged her again despite Grace’s protests.

\-----

Tristan was shocked when Dougie picked up a rock and hurled it at Miles’ head. It was a slow motion moment that he could do nothing to stop. It slammed into the boy and knocked him over. Dread spread through Tristan as he ran over to the other boy. He was unconscious from the sheer force and placement of the hit.

“What the hell?!” Frankie yelled. Tristan looked up to see her go at Dougie. He didn’t look at all scared by her. She was tiny compared to them and that was a whole other thing Tristan was scared about.

He looked back at Miles while the group continued to yell at each other. He was worried, seeing the way Miles was just lying there like he was dead to the world. Tristan shook him gently.

“Miles,” he whispered, trying to focus completely on him while there was screaming beside him. “Miles, wake up.”

He continued to shake him. Tristan could hear him breathing. He checked his pulse and it felt like what he imagined was normal. He wasn’t dead, that was good. He was unconscious though and Tristan didn’t know how to wake him from that. The shaking wasn’t working.

“You bitch!” Dougie screamed in pain. Tristan looked over to see Frankie glaring down at him while Dougie held his crotch in pain. Frankie had actually kicked him in the balls. Tristan would be proud if he wasn’t so scared of what was happening with Miles.

Tristan didn’t look away and watched as Rodney lunged at Frankie. Lola attempted to intervene.

“Get off me, bitch!” Rodney yelled as his fist collided with Lola’s face. She fell over from the force, grabbing her face and sobbing.

Frankie went for Rodney this time, her foot slamming between his legs with force. He fell to his knees the second after she got him and she rushed over to Lola.

Tristan watched the whole exchange, helpless. It all happened so fast that he didn’t have time to join. Rodney and Dougie were getting their footing back and they needed to get out of there.

“The fuck?” Tristan heard a voice below him grumble. He quickly knelt down as Miles started to wake up. He looked confused, like he had just come out of a deep sleep. “What happened?”

“I’ll explain later. Right now, we need to go. Okay?” Tristan pulled on his arm to get him up. It took longer than Tristan would have hoped for to get the boy into a standing position. He didn’t know how they were going to run away with Miles being basically a huge sack of potatoes.

“Come on, Lola,” Frankie gestured for her friend to follow.

Lola shook her head and everyone looked at her with a shocked expression. They didn’t have time for this. Tristan gave Frankie a look that said so.

“Okay Miles,” Tristan slung the other’s arm over his shoulder and held him tight around the waist. “We need to walk, alright? Fast.”

Tristan helped Miles take the fastest steps possible while Frankie ran in front of them. Worry was gnawing at Tristan’s chest as they practically hobbled away. No one seemed to be coming after them but that didn’t stop the group. They waited until they reached the Hollingsworth house to stop.

“What the fuck happened?” Miles slurred out. Tristan was worried that he was still groggy. How did someone act when they got hit in the head with a rock?

“We should get your mom,” Tristan told Frankie. She wasn’t moving. She was just staring. Tristan didn’t have time to worry about her too.

“What happened?” Miles repeated, like he hadn’t already asked.

“Rodney hit Lola and she stayed,” Frankie all but whispered.

Tristan frowned. He was worried about Lola too, but he was also worried about Miles. He sat the boy down on the nearest chair, trying to keep him in a sitting position. He glanced over at Frankie, concerned. She looked like she was in shock. He didn’t know how to help her. Helping Miles was something he could do.

With a worried sigh, Tristan went to go find Mrs. Hollingsworth.

\-----

Zig closed his math book when his phone vibrated. He was tired of staring at integers anyway and seeing a text from Maya was far more interesting. The text he got read ‘look outside.’ He raised his eyebrow and stood from his bed.

Peering out from his curtains, he saw Maya standing in the yard. He squinted, not completely sure it was her. He could see blonde hair and someone who looked like her but there was no way it was her. She had her monitor. If she left her house now, she would light up.

He closed the curtains and tiptoed down the stairs. Jose was in his office, working on some paperwork on the computer. Zig was able to creep passed that room without being seen. He made it to the door without a peep. Opening the door was hard but he got it open as quietly as possible.

“Maya,” he whispered, getting a full view of her in the porch light.

She was really there, beaming at her. Zig glanced at her ankle and saw that there was no monitor there. What did she do?

“Grace got it off,” she answered before he could ask. Of course Grace could do that.

“Are you crazy?” Zig whisper-yelled, looking back at the door.

He exited the house completely and walked over to her. The pride that was on her face fell when she got a good look at how worried it appeared to be.

“C’mon Zig. It’s not a big deal,” Maya reasoned. He didn’t take the bait.

“It kind of is. Do you want to go to jail?” he asked. She paused, like she was seriously considering it. He looked at her incredulously. “Do you?”

Maya broke her silence. “No!” She crossed her arms and shook her head.

Zig didn’t believe her. The way she looked said something completely different. He was honestly surprised. They had been doing everything to get her out of the hellhole she had been damned to for days. But here she was, standing in front of him like she didn’t care if she got sent back there.

“What is going on with you, Maya?” he asked. He put a hand on her arm and she uncrossed them.

She looked over and he could see the faint glimmer of tears in her eyes in the dull lighting. Zig didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t been talking to him lately. There was something wrong and he wanted to help. He took a step forward and wrapped her up in his arms.

Maya buried her face in his chest and he could feel her tears seep through the fabric of his shirt. He kept her in a tight hold, rocking back and forth. Zig didn’t know what else he could do to help her. He couldn’t imagine what being in her shoes was like. It actually made him mad that he hadn’t considered that yet.

“I’m scared,” she blubbered, looking up at him. He looked down with tears prickling in his own eyes. He hated to see her cry like this. He needed to protect her and he was doing a shitty job so far. She was crying and had a look that was so vulnerable it made Zig’s heart hurt.

“I know,” he whispered. His lips caressed her forehead and stayed there while she shook with sobs. Zig swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat.

“I don’t want to go to jail,” she whispered. “I don’t want to be in jail and have our baby in jail and have to watch my baby grow up without me. I’m so scared of that Zig. I hate this.”

Zig didn’t know how to voice that he was scared of the same things. He didn’t want their baby to spend their early years without a mother. He didn’t want to see Maya in jail. His brain kept reminding him over and over that it was his fault. They were his drugs.

“You’re not going to go to jail. I promise,” he told her, smoothing her hair away from her face.

She looked up at him with eyes that were so trusting. He had to do this for her and their baby. It was time for Rodney to go down for this once and for all. Zig couldn’t wait any longer; they had run out of waiting time. 


	14. My Prayer's Effect

**Day 50**

Miles sat up in his bed and blinked rapidly. He looked over at his nightstand where the pills he was supposed to be taking for his head were. After being hit, his mom drove him to the hospital with Tristan and Frankie. Five stitches and both a CAT scan and MRI later, Miles was diagnosed with a mild concussion. They gave him some painkillers to help with the inevitable pain that resulted from the huge gash in the back of his head.

When they came back home that night, Tristan told him that he needed to go home. Especially if there were painkillers sitting around the house. Miles tried to convince him otherwise but Tristan was firm on his decision. It didn’t matter. Miles was too exhausted to fight him on that. All he wanted was to lie down and sleep for days.

That was what his weekend was like. Tristan didn’t stop over like he had hoped he would. They texted back and forth when Miles was awake, but there was no appearance. Maybe he really was serious about the drugs thing. It made Miles want to flush the things. A little bit of pain was worth it if that meant he got to see Tristan.

As Miles blinked in an attempt to wake himself up, Frankie walked through his door. He sat up in his bed as much as he could. His head was pounding like it was balancing a hundred weights all day. It was hard to move without feeling nauseous or dizzy.

“Mom said you don’t have to go to school today,” Frankie informed as she looked down at him from the side of his bed. Something had been wrong with her since the day he got hit. She looked sad all the time and Miles didn’t know why. He must have missed something in those brief moments when he was unconscious on the ground.

“Great,” Miles responded, putting a hand on his forehead. He didn’t want to move anymore. If he did, he might actually throw up.

Frankie looked over at the pill bottle on the nightstand. There was a glass of water that must have been sitting there all night beside them. She picked up a pill and the water and handed them to him. “She also said make sure you take your medicine,” his sister continued. She shoved them in his hands.

Miles wanted to wean himself off the pills as fast as possible. He was still worried about Tristan. With everything that went down between them all, he was an even bigger target. While Miles lied in bed all day, Tristan was out there with a bullseye on his back. He needed to protect him, no matter how much getting out of bed made him nauseous.

Begrudgingly, Miles swallowed the pills and washed them down with the water. He gave the glass back to Frankie and she placed it on the table. She was the only person who didn’t look at him like they felt bad for him. She gave him a look that almost said he deserved it. Or that something he had done had irreparable consequences. That was insane though. He was the one who got beaned in the head with a chunk of pavement.

“I know you want Tristan to come back, but you have to take care of yourself too,” Frankie lectured, sitting on the side of the bed. Miles scooted over to allow her more room.

“I’m doing that. But I have to take care of Tristan too,” he reasoned. Frankie looked down at him with those sad doe-eyes that were becoming a permanent fixture in their lives.

The girl took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay. But I don’t want you to get wrapped up in this. Everything going on is messy according to Lola and I don’t want you to get involved.”

Miles wanted to tell her that he was already involved. He was involved with Tristan. His problems were his. Miles’ head fell back against the pillow. He was involved. He was protecting him like what they had was a real relationship.

‘So much for being just Miles and Tristan,’ he told himself, grabbing the spare pillow and pressing it against his face.

“I promise I won’t,” he told Frankie, but couldn’t stop how horrible he felt for lying to his sister like that. She didn’t need anything else to worry about. Whatever happened was already eating her alive. Miles felt worse just looking at her face. He needed to find out what happened when he was passed out. He wasn’t sure if Tristan would tell him. His mind told him to ask.

\-----

When Zig got to school on Monday, he found Zoe immediately. She was hanging out with Tatiana lately and he needed to know what she knew. Tatiana was his biggest source for information. He reminded himself that he needed to do this creatively and not just go right in for Rodney. That was the most ideal option but it would backfire for sure.

“Hey,” he greeted Zoe. She looked up from where she was fixing her lip-gloss in her locker mirror. She eyed his reflection in the mirror.

“I’m guessing you’re not here for a friendly hello?” she asked, closing her lip-gloss and sticking it in her bag.

“I need to know what’s going on with Tatiana. You have to have gotten something by now,” Zig requested. He didn’t know if he was being too demanding, but this was for Maya. Maya’s trial was coming up soon and they needed to get a leg up on Rodney before that.

Zoe shut her locker and fixed her bag’s strap over her shoulder. “She doesn’t trust me yet. I’ve tried asking stuff but she always changes the subject.”

Zig ran his fingers through his hair. They needed to move this along as quickly as possible. Everything was becoming too much to put off. Zoe was supposed to be helping him but she was getting nowhere. He didn’t blame her too much. Tatiana was a hard nut to crack. He had known her for a least a year and still knew nothing about her.

“Of course,” Zig sighed. Zoe looked at him with apologetic eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she wrinkled her nose as she apologized. “One thing I do know is she’s Russian. Like actually from Russia Russian. She was yelling at someone over the phone in whatever language it is. Does that help at all?”

Zig didn’t know that Tatiana was Russian. Her name gave it away if he thought about it. But was that important? It sounded like some so important that it had to have meaning. Zig would have to think about it more before deciding his course of action for that.

“Thanks Zoe,” he thanked her with a forced smile. She obviously didn’t believe it and put her hand on his upper arm.

“I know you’re driving yourself crazy with this. I’m trying by best but I guess I can try harder,” she tried to comfort him. That made Zig feel bad. He was grateful for Zoe’s help and didn’t want it to look like he wasn’t.

Zig didn’t know what else to do to thank her. He did think of something he knew she would hate but would show his gratitude. He leaned in and gave her a hug. He could feel her tense in his arms and pull away like a dog did when it didn’t want to be picked up.

“Please don’t do that,” she fixed her shirt. Zig laughed and looked down at her.

“You’re no fun,” he joked. She rolled her eyes and walked passed him to go to her first class.

Zig waved to her as she walked off. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and saw that he had two missed calls and four texts. He opened them up confused and saw that they were all from Maya’s mom. The most recent one said ‘Call me when you get this please.’ He was concerned and ducked into the bathroom.

He called Ms. Matlin the second he was inside one of the bathroom stalls. The phone rang twice before she picked up. “Hey, what’s going on?” he asked with worry dripping from his voice.

He heard her sigh in the phone. “Maya’s at the police station. Her probation officer had her detained because she cut off her ankle monitor apparently. Did you know about this?”

Zig did but he knew better than to confess that. “I had no idea. I swear.”

“Well,” the woman sighed again, “She wanted me to tell you that they’re bringing her in front of the judge this afternoon. She wants you to be there.”

“What time?”

“They said it’s going to be around three,” she answered.

Zig thanked her and promised that he would be there. He had been afraid that Maya would go down for this but it still surprised him. What were they going to do to her? What was the judge going to say?

\-----

Grace decided to skip first period. She wasn’t feeling it and disappeared into the auditorium by herself to hide from anyone looking for her. She wanted to get over the sad feeling that possessed her for days now. She needed to stop feeling sad and find something that made her happy. West Side Story was the only thing that made that happen.

When she entered through the double doors, she grabbed a chair and set it underneath the handle so no one could get in. She dropped her backpack on another chair, removing her sketchbook from it. With a pencil in hand, she hopped up onto the stage.

There were pieces of tape all over the stage for where people and the set pieces needed to be. Some were in bright colors while the others were white that glowed in the dark. Grace looked at the map in her book to see if they were all where they needed to be. The crew she had helped but she needed to double check.

She started with the beginning. The song at the beginning ran through her head and she followed the motions that Tristan did and then backtracked and did Winston’s. She would go through the entire part and switch the tape when it was landed wrong. This went on longer than she thought it would until the bell rang.

Grace looked up at the intercom where the sound came from and sighed. She didn’t want to go to class. There was something inside her that made her dread actually being around people. Was it really the break up? Or had something been sparked from Zoe leaving her after only a brief time being together? Whatever it was, it left Grace with no motivation to do anything truly productive.

She looked back down at her feet where they were standing on a piece of tape. She was at ‘Something’s Coming’ by that point. It was in the very beginning of the musical and her nit-picking had only gotten here there. When the second bell rang, she returned to her activity.

It took her four periods to get through the entire musical. She would do the dance scenes twice to make sure everything was completely right. Those were an ordeal within themselves. Everything was perfect down to the step. Her movement of the tape assured that. It was amazing. By the time she finished Maria’s last position, she was beaming with pride.

Grace was surprised that that raised happiness in her chest for the first time in days. Everything was perfect. She might change things later but for right now everyone was going to be spot on. This was something she did. This musical was hers. Not even Zoe could take that away from her.

As the fourth period bell rang, she hopped down from the stage. She had completely skipped her lunch period, but she didn’t care that much. Moving the chair from the door, she excited into the hallway and walked to her fifth period class.

In the hallway, her body collided with another. With her luck, she was sure it was going to be Zoe. That was just the high school movie kind of life she led. Instead, it was Tatiana. She hadn’t seen her in days but she knew what was going on with her and Zoe. There was no way Zoe would leave her and then not go to the person who had drove a wedge between them.

“Hey Grace,” the girl greeted. She flashed her devious smile that told Grace she knew what she was thinking. Tatiana was definitely the one who took Zoe from her and she knew they both knew that.

“Leave me alone,” Grace shoved passed her. She didn’t care that Tatiana yelled something behind her. She continued to her fifth period class, though the good mood she had been in seriously declined.

\-----

Zoe was shocked that she didn’t see Zig for the rest of the day. They were in class together for first period but he never showed. After their conversation in the morning, she was surprised. Things were going good so far but she hadn’t found out what she needed to for them. Was Zig pretending that everything was okay when they really weren’t?

Her fears were confirmed when he sent her a text in the afternoon. It read ‘Maya is in trouble. Meet me after school.’ She spent the rest of the day worrying about what had happened. His text was pretty cryptic so she was really panicking.

At the end of the day, Zoe saw Zig standing in front of the steps at the front of the school. She practically sprinted down the steps. He looked worried the second he turned to see her.

“What happened?” Zoe asked, panting a little with effort of how fast she had walked to get there.

“The police came for her. She cut her monitor off on Friday. She is going to go back to jail if we don’t figure this whole thing with Rodney out. I’m worried, Zoe.”

It was strange seeing Zig express as much emotion as he was in that sentence. He never told anyone that he was worried or scared. He was always taking care of someone, whether it be Maya or Zoe herself when they had their small little fling. It was something admirable about him but frustrating at the same time.

“Okay, let’s think about this,” Zoe tried to calm him down. He looked at her with eyes like he was hanging on her every word. “First, we need to figure out what is happening with Maya.”

Zig nodded in agreement. He glanced down at his phone before talking again. “She’s going in front of the judge at three. We need to be there. I’m sure Ms. Matlin will be okay with you coming too.”

Zoe nodded in agreement. Zig picked up his phone and sent a text that she assumed was to Ms. Matlin. It was only about ten minutes before the car pulled up to pick them up. Zoe slid into the front seat while Zig got into the back.

“You’re sure you didn’t know anything about this?” Ms. Matlin asked Zig the second the car doors were closed.

He shook his head. There was no way he would tell her that he did. She looked at him in the rearview mirror and Zoe didn’t know if that meant she believed him or not. For his sake, she hoped that she did.

They reached the courthouse that Maya’s bail hearing had been at. Zoe looked up at it when they parked. It felt like yesterday they had been there and they were already back. She didn’t want to have to go there for Maya again, but part of her said that Maya deserved it. Who cut off their own ankle monitor after all?

They went through the metal detectors and entered the courtroom. They sat together at the bench they had last time they were all there. Ms. Matlin looked like she was about to cry. Zoe felt for her. She had been put through so much with Maya’s arrest and pregnancy. This was her youngest daughter after all.

Maya’s lawyer went through the little gate at the front of the rows of benches and walked down the row to sit beside them. She looked exhausted and Zoe assumed she probably was. Maya’s case was not an easy one and Maya had gone and messed it up even more. Zoe really felt for her.

“Okay,” she began in a hushed whisper. “They’re going to bring Maya out here any minute now. I hate to say it, but we don’t really have anything right now. She admitted to removing her monitor. The judge might issue a new one but that’s the best case scenario. I’d be prepared for something worse to happen.”

Zoe didn’t know why, but she nodded like she was talking to her. That made Zoe think about how she had gotten herself stuck and invested into this mess that was Maya’s arrest.

\-----

Tristan hadn’t seen Miles since he left the hospital on Friday. He was too nervous to go over to his house. It was mainly because he saw that prescription that his doctor gave him. They weren’t the pills Tristan had been taking, but they were pain pills nonetheless. He couldn’t be near those. Not right now.

But he knew he had to see how he was doing. Miles wasn’t in school so he was sure he was still in pain from his injury. He had stitches in his head after all. So after school, Tristan went to the Hollingsworth house before he went home.

When he knocked on the door, Mrs. Hollingsworth answered. She allowed him in and he went up to Miles’ room. The boy himself was on his bed, doing something on his laptop. Tristan had to clear his throat to make Miles look up.

“Tris,” he greeted him in a voice that had more enthusiasm than Tristan had ever heard from Miles. He set his laptop on the foot of his bed and stood up from his bed.

“You don’t have to stand up,” Tristan told him, setting his backpack down. Miles was having a trouble finding his footing it seemed anyway. He wobbled before sitting back down on his bed.

“Where have you been?” he asked, though Tristan knew he knew the answer. He honestly didn’t believe that Miles was that eager for him to show up. Their relationship was in an odd place. Miles didn’t want to define it and Tristan was okay with that. But the way Miles looked at him said something completely different.

Tristan sat down next to him on the bed. “I missed you.”

Miles looked over at him. His face was still relatively pale. There was more color in his cheeks than when Tristan saw him in his hospital room, but he didn’t look one-hundred percent. The concussion he had was most likely making him too ill to stand or move too much.

Tristan wasn’t expecting Miles to grab his chin and kiss him like he did. He hadn’t forgotten about them, but it felt like coming up for air the moment their lips touched again. He didn’t know he was under water, gasping for air until that moment.

“What happened?” Miles mumbled against his lips. Tristan was surprised by the question, though he knew he should be waiting for it. He wasn’t expecting them to get right to it the second their lips weren’t touching any longer.

He pulled away and sighed. “You already know. Dougie threw a rock at you and you passed out. What else do you need to know?”

Miles nodded. “What happened with you and Dougie?”

Tristan wasn’t expecting that question. He assumed Miles wanted nothing to do with Tristan and Dougie’s relationship. It was messy and something he didn’t like to think about. Talking to Miles about it was something else that sounded like a terrible idea.

“I was using him so I didn’t have to pay for drugs. What else is there?” he said in a defensive tone.

“That’s all? Because he looked pretty jealous,” Miles continued to push the subject.

What did he want Tristan to say? That he had developed some sort of feelings for Dougie? All of that already seemed like an eternity ago. Maybe he did have feelings for Dougie. He wasn’t quite sure about that. He was high the majority of their fling and the drugs made him feel all sorts of positive things.

“I don’t know,” Tristan mumbled. There was a silence between the two of them as they both processed. Miles mouth opened and closed a few times, like he was trying to come up with the right reply. Tristan waited.

“I don’t like to think about you two being together,” he stated. He looked over at Tristan. “And I think that’s because…I think I love you?”

He said it like it was a question. Tristan was shocked to say the least. Out of all the words he thought would come from his mouth, those weren’t on the list. Miles loved him. Possibly. He wasn’t completely sure.

“I think…” Tristan began anyway. “I think I love you too.”

\-----

Maya’s panic about her monitor was satisfied when the police came knocking at her door Monday morning. It was right before school and she was cuffed right when they saw her. She agreed to her rights as they lowered her into the police car. She knew this was coming, but it was a shock anyway.

She was put through the same steps she had been the first time she was booked. Susan came in the second she had been printed and her second mugshot taken. She was hooked to the desk again as they talked. There was no getting out of this one. She was going to be detained until her trial for sure.

Waiting to see the judge was agonizing. She sat in line with the rest of the people who were going in front of the judge, just waiting. They were all cuffed and looking at the ground. One by one, the bailiff brought them into the courtroom. After hours of a waiting, it was finally Maya’s turn.

She entered the courtroom and saw her mother, Zig, and Zoe in the gallery. They looked just as worried as her if that was possible. Susan was at the small desk, giving her sad eyes. At the desk across from them, Lucy sat frowning. She was giving Maya the expression that read she hated doing this but had to. Maya hated her.

“Hello again, Miss Matlin,” the judge said once Maya was facing him. He looked her up and down. He looked just as upset with her as everyone else had.

“Hello Your Honor,” she greeted with a quick nod.

“I’m genuinely surprised to see you back. I guess I misjudged you, Maya. I thought you were going to take this seriously but apparently not. What do you have to say for yourself?”

Maya didn’t know what to say. It was a stupid split-second decision. She was sad and just wanted to feel something else. It was a mistake and she wanted nothing more than to take it back. But she couldn’t and that brought tears to her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she croaked out in a teary voice. He didn’t seem moved by her tears and looked over at Lucy.

“Mrs. Moran, you have been seeing Maya since her probation began. What do you make of this incident?”

Lucy stood and cleared her throat. “Well, Maya has been having issues expressing herself since day one. I have seen nothing by apathy towards her crime. This is more proof that she is not ready to be with the general public. I would suggest detention until the day of her trial.”

Maya looked at Lucy with more tears in her eyes. She was a smiley, happy person turned traitorous bitch. She made a mistake, but that didn’t mean anything in her eyes either. It was because Maya wouldn’t do her stupid activities. That warranted being locked up again? It didn’t sound fair.

“Well, Miss Matlin,” the judge continued, looking at her again. He did another once over of her. He looked like he pitied her. It was a look she had been receiving since she started her probation. At school, everyone gave her those eyes. She didn’t know if she would ever be able to escape them. Especially not now.

He cleared his throat again. “Mrs. Moran is one of our best. I consider her opinion very much. So, I am ordering you to detention until your criminal hearing. I hope this time gives you a chance to really look at your choices and decide how you feel about them.”

He hit his gavel against the bench and leaned back in his chair. The bailiff walked over and lifted her from her chair. She was led out through the door she came in. Before she was escorted through, she got a glimpse at her mother, who was sobbing into her hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! First and foremost, I wanted to thank you all for your nice comments and attention you've paid this fic. I am eternally grateful. Secondly, I have officially started school. I'm taking 14 credit hours so I will be pretty busy in the upcoming weeks. I'll try my best to update as quickly as possible, but it will probably be every other day instead of every day. I hope you are all patient with me. Thank you so much!


	15. Ready Stand

**Day 54**

Zoe woke up Friday morning with the sun glaring into her eyes. She began to sit up, but felt a pair of arms anchoring her to the bed. They were Tatiana’s. The memories of the night before came back to her. She invited the other girl to sleepover in a moment of desperation. She came over and the night ended with them in bed the second Zoe asked a prying question.

She was still disappointed with her lack of information. Maya had been in jail for four days now and Zig was seething. Zoe spent all of those days talking him down. They needed a plan before they went in with bullets flying. It had been days though. Weeks. They had no plan and saying they needed one wasn’t doing much. Action seemed to be the best course.

“Tati,” Zoe shook the girl, who opened her eyes. She smiled up at Zoe with those bright pearly whites she had.

“Good morning,” she slurred, running her fingers through her hair. She released Zoe’s waist and sat up. “How are you feeling?”

Zoe was feeling pretty good. Sex with Tatiana was something she would never forget. She was experienced with girls, which made it even better for both of them. That didn’t mean she didn’t love her experience with Grace. They were simply two different things. She loved Grace and the emotional made it more special than whatever Tatiana could do.  

“Very good,” Zoe grinned, leaning down and bringing their lips together. Tatiana returned it with lips that were too soft for her.  

There was a quiet moment while the two of them shared a long kiss. It made Zoe want to stay in bed all day and completely forget about school. It was an ideal option which Tatiana would definitely agree with. But this was not part of the plan they were following. Reporting back to Zig was a must. 

Tatiana was the first one to pull away. “You can tell Zig that our new base is the back room at Lola’s Cantina. That’s where Rodney has been hanging out.”

Zoe was completely taken aback by the revelation. She thought she had been sneakier about all of this. She had convinced herself that she had feelings about Tatiana. But the way the girl looked at her told a completely different story.

“How did you know?” Zoe asked in disbelief. Tatiana rolled her eyes and laid her head back down on the pillow.

“The two of you aren’t very good at hiding things. I knew what you wanted the first time you kissed me,” she revealed.

Her voice sounded sad, like she had real feelings for Zoe. Zoe never really took into consideration how she felt. She was an emotionless shell that wasn’t capable of true human feeling. Seeing her as a human was jarring and made Zoe’s skin crawl.

“I’m sorry,” the Latina whispered with shame. She looked away from Tatiana.

The other’s hand rested on her wrist. She shifted on the bed. “I thought that maybe this would change your feelings about me. I’m guessing it didn’t?”

Zoe wanted to say that it had. She enjoyed sex with Tatiana so much it made her feel bad. But that didn’t mean she actually had real feelings towards her. Sex was something completely different. Sex was something she could use to get what she wanted. She didn’t know that it would make her feel sick to her stomach when she finally got the information she wanted.

“What are you going to do to us?” Zoe asked. This wasn’t going to come with no strings attached. Nothing with Tatiana and her friends was that easy. It was complicated and messy. The way Tatiana sighed made that known.

“I don’t know yet,” she answered. She flipped the blanket off of her body and stood up. She dressed quickly, looking down at Zoe the entire time.

“You’re leaving?” Zoe inquired.

“I’ve got no more business here,” Tatiana said, pulling her belt through the loops on her jeans.

Their eyes met and Zoe’s chest hurt. It wasn’t a break-up, but that’s what it felt like. How could she feel so upset about something she didn’t care about? Maybe she did care. Maybe she cared more than her heart was willing to admit.

“Okay,” she said in a whisper. Tatiana gave her a nod and exited the room.

\-----

“So what’s it like being pregnant?” a girl with long brown hair asked Maya. She was a small Filipino girl named Andrea who barely stood five feet. She and Maya were cellmates and inside that were bunkmates. She was the closest thing Maya had to a friend inside juvie.

Maya was currently braiding the girl’s hair. She paused in the middle of a loop when she asked the question. “Um, I don’t really know,” she answered, continuing on with her work. Andrea shifted to look up at her and Maya was stopped again.

“What do you mean you don’t know? You are pregnant, right?” she asked in the high pitched voice that had a way of grating on Maya’s nerves when she was talking well into the night and everyone was trying to sleep. She was thankful for a friend, but being surrounded by the same people all day had its way of making all the charm go away.

“Yeah,” Maya answered. “But I don’t feel like a big TV pregnant woman. I mean I do throw up sometimes and I feel really tired by the end of the day. Other than that, I don’t know. I wish I felt more. It might be different when my belly is actually visible. It’s still pretty flat.”

Andrea nodded, but stopped when she remembered Maya was holding her hair in her hands. “Well, I always thought pregnancy sounded fun. Maybe that’s what I’ll do when I get out of here.”

It had been four days, but they never really talked about what they were there for. They rarely even talked about getting out of there. The entirety of their friendship was Andrea asking Maya questions incessantly and Maya answering. They mostly pertained to Zig and Degrassi and safe topics that you would talk to your normal friends with. It comforted Maya if only for a short amount of time. If she closed her eyes, she wasn’t in jail anymore.

Maya looked down at Andrea’s long hair in her hands. “How long are you in here for?” she practically whispered.

The other shifted uncomfortably on the bed. Maya had been wondering what a girl this sweet and innocent had done to get in here since she met her. That was one of the consequences of them never talking about things. She didn’t know what kind of person Andrea was outside of jail. Did that really matter? Maybe it did, maybe it didn’t. Maya wasn’t completely sure.

“Um, ten years?” the small girl mumbled. Maya had to keep her mouth from falling open.

“But this is juvie…you’ll be twenty-six when you get out?” Maya questioned.

“They’re going to move me when I turn eighteen,” Andrea clarified. She cleared her throat. “Can we talk about something else?”

Maya didn’t want to push the topic any further. The question that kept burning in the back of her mind was what she did to get ten years. Andrea looked sweet as pie and treated everyone kindly. She was as innocent as one could be. But there she was, lying on Maya’s bunk with a teary pout.

“Yeah,” Maya whispered as she finished the braid she was doing. Andrea pulled away and ran the long strand through her hand. It was as secure as Maya could get it without a twist-tie. Andrea had thick hair that would hopefully hold it together.

There was another resounding silence between the girls. Starting a conversation about something real was a wrong choice. Maya saw that now. Spending twenty-four hours a day with people you couldn’t talk to about anything real was one of the hells she was finding in prison. It wasn’t just the people who threatened her or called her names like ‘white girl’ and ‘pregnant bitch.’ It was the silence that they all felt outside all the yells and superficial conversations. That was the real torture inside those walls.

As Maya looked at her bunkmate, she began to process that. Everything she thought about jail was wrong. It wasn’t like anything she had read or seen. It was lonely and isolated and made her want to curl up in a ball for the next how many years.

\-----

Second period Spanish was completely baffling for Tristan. As he watched his teacher write something on the board, he realized he had not been paying any attention. He was wrapped up in many other things that distracted him. None of those things had to deal with learning another language.

“You look like a mess,” Zoe said as she sat down in the seat beside him. He glared over at her.

“I’ve had other things on my mind,” he reasoned, trying to play it off as not a big deal. The more the teacher spoke though, the more his faith in himself dwindled.

Zoe laughed under her breath. “You’re so transparent, Tris.”

“I’ll just read the book more,” Tristan persisted as he opened the book. He didn’t know why he was surprised that almost all of it was completely in Spanish. Zoe knew this already and her laughter grew more obvious when he shut the book again.

“How is that working out?” she asked with a self-satisfied smirk. Tristan shot her yet another glare that said she was not helping one bit. She laughed quietly and opened her own textbook.

The teacher began the lecture and Tristan scribbled as many notes as he could. Maybe getting A’s on the quizzes from here on out would help his grade. All he needed to was study and he’d be golden. Right?

The notes he took were unintelligible. He was trying to follow the teacher, but she would switch between English and Spanish. That was when he would start to get confused. When did they learn this stuff? Was he just asleep for two months?

The lecture ended and she passed out worksheets they had to do and turn in at the end of class. Tristan looked to Zoe for help. She rolled her eyes.

“You know who you should ask?” she began while beginning her own worksheet. “Lola. She’s a native speaker, right?”

Tristan froze at the mention of the other girl’s name. Everything that went down between Miles, Dougie, Rodney, and her came flooding back. Rodney had hit her at full force and she stayed with him. She was fairly good at covering it with makeup, but Tristan couldn’t help but see the slowly healing bruise on her eye. Rodney had been doing this for months but she stayed with him. It made him think of Miles asking him if he was so desperate for someone to love him that he stayed with someone who treated him like crap.

“I guess she is,” he replied to Zoe. His mind was now filled with the image of Rodney reeling back and hitting her. It played on repeat in his head like a terrible sports instant replay. He cringed internally every time. Lola was a sweet, friendly girl who didn’t deserve anything like that.

Zoe obviously didn’t know about this instance. She and Lola didn’t hang out anymore after all the terrible events that went down with Power Cheer. Lola was exclusively friends with Frankie. She was a friend that Rodney allowed her to have. She was mixed in with his crowd, but mostly to look like arm candy for him. When they all hung out, she was restrained from talking. Tristan learned that after only spending time with them for a brief stretch of time.

Zoe nodded a little, confused about where his mind was. “So yeah…you should ask her.”

Her eyes returned to her worksheet and Tristan’s did the same. Everything was blank though. He didn’t know the answer to any of these questions. They were all simple and easy for the people around him. It all looked like a mush of letters. What did some of those symbols mean anyway?

The teacher clapped and said something in Spanish. The students began passing their sheets down the line of students. Tristan looked down at his empty one and made sure to put it under all the rest. How had be completely forgotten one entire class period for so long?

The bell rang and Tristan watched Zoe shove her folder and book into her bag. She gave him a hopeful look.

“I’m sure Lola will be willing to help,” she said and gave Tristan’s arm a squeeze. He smiled a sad smile, which she returned. With a small wave, she turned and left the room. Tristan looked down at his own book and folder. He really hoped she was right about that.

\-----

Miles made his return to school once his need for pills went down. The pain was still there, but he could stand for more than ten seconds. His brain seemed to be functioning as it should. He was incredibly grateful for that. He wanted to get back to being a human as soon as possible.

This need became stronger after he made his love confession to Tristan. It wasn’t a sound ‘I love you,’ but it was close. It was something that said there was a very clear possibility that he did. At least the concept was out in the air now.. That was as much as Miles could offer for now.

He needed to see Tristan after that. He didn’t want things to become odd between them. Even if they hadn’t professed their undying love yet, they still had something going on between them. They weren’t a couple, but they were close to it. They didn’t hold hands in the hallway or anything like that. They kissed in private and enjoyed each other’s company intimately. At least that’s what Miles was calling it.

Things weren’t left on an awkward note, but one that sounded just a tad bit wrong on the ear. Tristan hadn’t come visit him after that. He insisted that it was because Miles wasn’t off the painkillers yet. That was a very real possibility. Tristan was trying really hard not to relapse. He wanted so much to put that chapter of his life behind him and Miles found that somewhat admirable. It made him not coming to see him almost okay.

For fourth period, Tristan agreed to have lunch with him. He didn’t see him anywhere, so Miles decided to pick a seat. While he was waiting for Tristan, Frankie sat down in the seat across from him. Miles raised his eyebrow at his sister’s entrance.

“What do you want?” he asked somewhat harshly. This lunch was supposed to be him and Tristan finally reuniting. He didn’t need his little sister sitting there with them.

“I think we need to have an intervention,” she stated. That left him curious. Who did they knew who needed to be intervened?

“What are you talking about, Franks?” he asked, shaking his head.

She groaned like it was obvious. “Lola! She is still with Rodney after he hit her. We need to do something about this before she gets really hurt.”

Miles wasn’t sure why she was bringing this up to him. He didn’t dislike Lola; he didn’t feel anything towards her. Why did she expect him to go along with this idea? Weren’t interventions supposed to have your friends and loved ones? Not some random guy you barely knew.

“And you’re telling me this because…?” he asked with a confused expression. She rolled her eyes.

“We need a lot of people. If it’s me and Shay, it’s not going to be that good of an intervention. You don’t have to say anything. You just need to show up,” Frankie pressured in a voice that sounded too excited for something like this. That was how she got when she was really proud of her ideas.

“Fine. I’ll go to your intervention,” he said, just wanting her to leave him alone for now.

“Really?!” she stood up from her seat and walked around the table to hug him. He shrugged her off and she placed a messy kiss on his temple. “Thank you, Miles. Really.”

Miles shrugged her off again with a wave of his hand that said no problem. She walked away happily after he agreed. It was right after she left that Tristan sat down in the seat his sister had just occupied.

“What was that about?” he asked, opening the container that had his lunch in it. Miles sighed.

“She wants to have an intervention to help Lola. I told her I would go just to shut her up,” he said minutely. Tristan looked up interested.

“That actually sounds like a good idea,” he said conversationally. Miles was surprised by the statement but for some reason, it made the idea look better once Tristan had agreed to it.

\-----

Grace walked to the juvenile center after school. It wasn’t exactly an easy walk but it was worth it. She wanted to visit Maya. She was sure her only other visitors were Zig and her mother. That sounded like a sad life and she wanted to perk up her friend with a different face. It was a very un-Gracelike thing on the surface, but she cared about her friends. She wasn’t going to be ashamed of that.

She made it through all the processing and was ushered into the area with booths and telephones. There were lawyers and family members scattered throughout the room talking to their various loved ones. The booth that said six was the one Grace was ordered to sit at. It appeared to be the only one that was empty.

Maya’s face lit up when Grace sat down. She grabbed the phone and Maya did the same. “What’s up, Matlin?” Grace asked, trying to play it off as casual as possible. It was a normal conversation. It totally wasn’t between a thick plate of glass.

“You actually came here,” Maya looked surprised by the event. It must be lonely inside if she was that excited about seeing Grace. She definitely looked lonely just from her appearance.

“I did,” Grace nodded. She was trying as hard as she could not to look at Maya too much. She didn’t want to gawk at her like everyone else was. She was still a person despite the orange jumpsuit and depressed face.

Maya adjusted her grip on the phone. “So how is West Side Story going?”

Grace couldn’t keep herself from laughing. “You’re in prison and that’s what you ask me about? You need to get your priorities straight.”

“Hey!” she retorted loudly. “I spend all visiting hours talking about jail and courts and that stuff. I want to talk about real life for once. Besides, you love West Side Story. I know that.”

She was right. The musical was the one thing that made Grace happiest. Even when she was yelling at the actors or stage hands because they were fucking up, she loved it. It was something creative she could do to get out all of her sadness and anger.

“Fine, fine,” Grace held up her hand that wasn’t holding the phone defensively. “It’s going good. I’m trying to determine which of these toads is deserving of your solo. You’re still the best.”

Maya gave her a thankful smile. It read that even if Grace was lying (which she wasn’t) she would be happy with it. She needed some sort of pick-me-up. Saying something that made her a human being was enough to make her shoulders straighten and her face light up with a smile it had clearly been deprived of.

“Thank you, Grace,” Maya said happily. The two girls smiled at each other as they both tried to come up with something else to say. What else could one say besides ‘how is prison?’ or ‘you feeling pregnant yet?’ They all seemed like vastly inappropriate ice breakers.

“So have you made anyone your bitch yet?” Grace asked instead. Maya laughed and Grace did as well. Maya looked around to see if anyone was looking at her after the outburst of laughter.

“I haven’t, sadly,” she answered, the laughter in her voice dying down enough to allow her to speak.

“Well, you should get to that,” Grace shrugged. She chuckled a little in hopes that Maya understood that she was trying to make her feel better. Maya needed a good laugh before her face began permanently disheartened. If Grace was the one that could bring her that happiness, then she was satisfied.

\-----

“Zig!” Zoe yelled as she ran behind him on his way to Lola’s Cantina. She gave him the information Tatiana had shared with her and he started to run towards the restaurant immediately. He didn’t care that it was hard for the girl to keep pace with him in her high heeled shoes. He was on the warpath.

She caught up to him by the time he made it to the cantina. “You can’t stop me,” he told her when she grabbed his arm.

Zig should have known Rodney was hanging out where he worked. It was the perfect place. Lola would be an easy way into the location. He had a job there and was dating the owner’s daughter. It was the perfect recipe to make a hidden base that no one would suspect.

But Tatiana leaked the information and now it was time for a beat down. Zig didn’t have a complete plan, but he would make it up as he went. All he needed to do was bust through the door and start hitting. That was the best course of action he could come up with.

They had spent too much time coming up with something. It had been weeks and they didn’t have a plan. Trying to mediate on one wasn’t working. Going in with guns blazing was the only plan that Zig could think that would be effective. Maya was locked up and he would do anything to get her out of there. That included something that might get him put in the same place.

He stormed to the back of the store while Zoe chased him again. Eyes followed them the whole time until they disappeared through the door.

The second they entered, something was pushed against Zig’s chest. Upon further investigation, he saw that it was a gun. It was in Rodney’s hand and pressing right over Zig’s heart.

“Surprise,” the other said with his shit-eating grin Zig knew well. He looked over at Zoe, who was being held by Dougie with a gun to her temple. That made Zig regret going into it like this immediately.

“Let her go, okay?” he told Rodney, trying to look as threatening as he could when he had a gun pointed at his chest. One pull of the trigger and he would be dead. Same went for Zoe, unfortunately.

“You really think Tatiana would just tell you where we were with no strings attached?” Rodney asked instead of listening to his demand. Zig didn’t know why he hadn’t considered that. It was because he hadn’t considered anything else but going in and attacking.

“Let her go. You can shoot me, I don’t care. She doesn’t deserve this,” Zig pushed, giving Rodney the look that he had seen people like Vince give him. Rodney wasn’t so tough when he was being looked down on by those with power over him. He hoped the look was enough to work on him.

He removed the barrel of the gun from Zig’s chest. Dougie didn’t move. “I don’t want things to get messy here, Ziggy. It’s too much to clean up and the Pacini’s just redid the upholstery. So you’re going to listen and we don’t have to make things dirty around here.”

Zig didn’t know why Rodney thought he would listen to him. Zig barely listened to him when he was part of the gang. He and Rodney were on the same level when it came to all of them. Just because Zig had left the gang didn’t mean he was scared of Rodney. The only thing that made him want to confirm what he said was the gun against Zoe’s head.

Rodney looked back at Lola, who was seated on the couch. Tatiana was nowhere in sight. It was so typical of her. She would do dirty work and not show up to see the fallout. She didn’t want to be there when Zig and Zoe pointed fingers. It was a smart move. So smart it made Zig angry.

Once his eyes had left his girlfriend, the boy spoke again. “So you aren’t gonna come back here. You’re gonna let your girl do her time and keep your heads down. If you don’t, you know what’s coming.”

Dougie shoved the gun against Zoe’s temple harder and she winced. That was enough to make Zig agree to any terms. He knew he wouldn’t put up with that. He wasn’t going to let Maya rot in jail because of Rodney. He was going to get her out and this guy was going to pay for what he did.

“Fine,” Zig put his hands up. Rodney looked up and down to see if he believed him. He looked over at Dougie and nodded. The other pulled the gun away and Zoe ran over to Zig. She held onto him tight until Zig’s arm turned white.

“Get out,” Rodney gestured to the door with the gun in his hand. Zig looked wearily at both Dougie and Rodney as they left the room.

The moment they left Zoe wrapped her arms around Zig’s middle and cried into his shirt. He instantly felt like the worst person. His impulsive need to protect Maya put his friend in danger. He only hoped that Zoe would learn to trust him again.  


	16. If I Profane

**Day 59**

Maya waited until everyone had left for breakfast before she used the bathroom in the morning. There was only a small one inside the cell. She knew they were all making fun of her, but she wasn’t comfortable with that. She could hold it if that meant a few minutes of privacy. Their insults just rolled off her back.

It was eight o’clock when she took her turn. Andrea promised to save her a seat in the cafeteria and Maya smiled thankfully. When she peeled off her jumpsuit, she wasn’t expecting to see a stain of dark blood on her underwear. It had soaked through the tragic white granny panties she had to wear and onto the center of her suit. Without even using the toilet, she pulled the suit and her underwear back up in one quick movement.

She left the cell and found the nearest female guard. She didn’t trust the men when it came to anything relating to her pregnancy or other female issues. Panic was racing through her veins. There had to be something wrong with her baby. She was only in her first trimester so she wasn’t out of the miscarriage woods yet. Dr. Andersen had been clear about that.

“I need to see my doctor,” she told the woman. The guard looked down at her with an exhausted expression.

“What is it?” she asked in the tired voice all the morning guards had. Maya didn’t exactly blame them for being exhausted, but wasn’t in the mood for that this morning. Something serious was going on with her and it needed to be sorted.

“I’m bleeding,” Maya whispered. She knew that if anyone heard it out loud it would cause a mass freak out. They all knew she was pregnant; it was what she was known for in juvie. Hearing about some sort of complication would go around the jail faster than a rumor at high school.

The guard looked down at her curiously. “You’re bleeding?” she asked in the same tired voice. Maya was expecting some sort of springing to action and was sorely disappointed with the reaction she received.

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “I’m bleeding down there. I think there’s something wrong with my baby. I need to see my doctor. Can’t someone take me?”

The woman looked around and then settled back onto Maya. “Come with me,” she turned and Maya followed her. They disappeared from the cell block and to a well-lit hallway. Maya had been there when she was first processed. It was where all the offices were including the warden’s, and more importantly, the nurse’s. The guard led her all the way to that door and opened it so Maya could walk in.

The nurse, a man named Richard who worked at the public hospital and took this job at the prison for an extra paycheck, looked up from his tabloid magazine. He removed his legs from the wheeling stool they were on and stood from the patient chair he was seated in.

“What’s the problem?” he asked, setting his magazine on the chair. He used the wall pump to pump some hand sanitizer onto his palm. He rubbed his hands together before walking over and helping Maya onto the exam table.

“She says she’s bleeding. I’ll let her explain ‘cause I have to go back to breakfast duty,” the guard explained. Richard nodded at her and she left with a heavy close of the door.

“You’re bleeding?” the man asked as he took a seat on the rolling stool. Maya sighed. She didn’t have time for all these questions. He needed to see Dr. Andersen as soon as possible.

“Yes. I’m bleeding down…” she gestured towards her groin. Richard nodded and she continued. “I think something might be wrong with my baby. I need to see my doctor as soon as possible.”

He looked at her with a contemplative expression. “We have to get approval from the warden before we can release you. Lie down and I’ll see what’s going on.”

He stood and started to place his hands over her belly. He did all the things Dr. Andersen’s nurse would have done. He was trying his best but it didn’t mean any help for Maya. How long would it take them to process her release? This was an emergency after all.

“I can’t fully examine you because I’m not licensed. I will bring your case in front of the warden and we’ll see what happens,” Richard told her, writing something on the chart he had pulled out that belonged to her. Maya sat back up on the table.

“How long will that take?” she asked, placing her hands on her belly. She didn’t know why this didn’t constitute as a major emergency. One of their inmates might be having a miscarriage and they didn’t seem to care. He didn’t look like he thought it was a miscarriage so that calmed her only briefly.

“It really depends. The warden gets a lot of requests every day. I’ll try my best to push it through as fast as possible. I’m going to call it spotting for right now, which you shouldn’t be overly concerned about. I suggest using a menstrual pad until we can get you in contact with your doctor.”

Maya knew he was trying his best. He didn’t want to have to wait list her like that. He was just the voice of a people that wanted her locked up no matter what. Health be damned. Who cared about a bunch of forgotten criminals?

She hopped down from the bed, concern still wracking her body. She wanted to fight and scream and beg for help; however, Richard wasn’t the person to do that to. He was just the messenger. If she wanted to raise hell, it would have to be to the warden. If she did that, her chances of getting approved for release became narrower. She hated doing this to her baby, but all she could do was keep her head down and hope the request was rushed like Richard promised.

\-----

Zig knew why Zoe was avoiding him for the days after the encounter at the cantina. He had actually put someone else’s life in danger. It was something that was so real and scary. It made all of this going on very real. If they didn’t do anything, Maya was going to be stuck in juvie for who knows how long. If they did, Rodney wouldn’t back down. He was ready for them.

It was on Wednesday that they were forced to be together. Rehearsal for the musical was still going on. It was a brief stretch of time where Zig didn’t have to think about everything going on around them. He could be a high school student for two hours instead of this person locked up in a gang war. Fictional gang wars were much more fun for him.

Grace’s calendar said ‘Somewhere Reprise.’ It was the last scene in the musical. After what went down the week before, the idea was too fresh for both him and Zoe. Maria was sobbing over Tony’s dead body. It was what Zoe had said earlier was her most emotional scene. With what had actually happened to them, it posed a possibility that could actually happen. That’s what made it more than emotional. It made it frightening.

Zig entered from the wings, yelling his line like it was meant to be. “Maria!” he said with as much happiness he could muster. Acting was about throwing out everything you felt. Being happy like this had its own way of being sad.

What Zig wasn’t aware of was that the sound crew were trying out their sound effects. So when the fake shooting sound resounded through the auditorium, he hit the deck. Fear coursed through his veins and he covered himself as much as he could. It took him at least ten seconds to realize it was just a sound effect. He looked up and saw Zoe on the stage in a similar position.

“Sorry guys!” the head of the crew shouted from the booth. Zig and Zoe both sat up a little, but they were shaking. Grace seemed to see this because she spoke next.

“Okay guys, break time. We’ll retry this when everyone gets back. Zig and Zoe? Can I talk to you?” she asked in her demanding voice.

The other cast members flocked towards the wings or the doors. Zig and Zoe stayed on the stage while Grace hopped up. She sighed a heavy sigh and looked straight at Zig. He couldn’t help but notice that she was avoiding eye contact with Zoe. Zig was hopeful that now that Tatiana and Zoe were over Grace and Zoe would mend their relationship. Both obviously wanted to get back with the other desperately.

“What’s going on?” Grace asked, putting her hands on her hips in a way that would have made Zig laugh if it wasn’t so damn intimidating.

“We weren’t expecting it,” Zoe practically stuttered out. She was shaking with fear and Zig could see it. Her lips trembled and her hands were rocked with subtle tremors. He didn’t know if Grace could see it too.

Grace looked away from Zoe though her eyes looked concerned. Zig did the same in an attempt to get Grace to be sympathetic. He didn’t want to tell her what had happened with Rodney. Grace wasn’t part of this and he didn’t want to drag her into it. She didn’t deserve that.

“Well, you need to get used to it,” she said instead of commenting on Zoe’s behavior. “It’s gonna keep going off every time we do this.”

Zig didn’t know if he would ever get used to hearing that. It would remind him of what would have happened if Dougie had pulled that trigger against Zoe’s head. She seemed to have that same face when Grace said it.

“Okay,” Zoe whispered, her voice shaking. Grace looked at her with confusion.

“Alright, great,” she said, looking completely confused as to what was happening. She gave Zig a severe look and walked away.

Zig turned and wrapped his arms around Zoe. “We’re going to get used to it. I’m sorry,”

Zoe looked up at him with the saddest facial expression he had seen on her. She nodded, though she looked like she didn’t believe him. Instead of saying anything else, he hugged her again.

\-----

Musical rehearsal was working on the second act and Tristan was enjoying the day off. By the second act, his character was already dead so there was no need for him to be there. That meant he could sneak into an empty class with Miles. The other had to wait until Frankie was done before he could leave the school. Tristan didn’t know what he did while he waited every other day.

Tristan sat on top of the teacher’s desk while Miles was seated in the rolling chair in front of it. They were facing each other and Miles had taken a hold of Tristan’s foot when he started kicking it back and forth. He held a red pen they found on the teacher’s desk and drew ridiculous pictures on Tristan’s shoes. Normally Tristan would care immensely about mindless defacing of clothes but they were old and Miles’ drawings would give them a fashionably vintage look.

“We haven’t really talked,” he brought up when a silence interrupted the superficial conversations they were having. Miles looked up from his artwork like he was surprised.

He cleared his throat. “I didn’t think you wanted to,” he tried his best to shrug it off coolly and return to his illustrations. Tristan could see through that look in a minute.

Tristan hadn’t been ready to talk until that moment. Miles was the first one to say he thought he loved him. That was a huge deal for both of them. What made it even bigger was that Tristan said it back. It was a split second decision that he didn’t know he was making until the words left his lips. Saying he loved Miles just felt so natural. It practically rolled off his tongue.

He thought it would be the simplest thing to say. He had been pining for Miles since he first met him. Despite fluctuating frequently, those feelings for Miles were a constant. It didn’t matter how intense they were, he always felt them in the back of his mind. Knowing that Miles returned those feelings was actually petrifying. Like a kid who didn’t know what to do with the toy he really wanted when he got it.

There was a long silence between them while Tristan thought about this. Everything that was circling his head came rushing back in one long blur. He had to say something. Make a choice. It was an easy one. He went with what his mind naturally did.

“I love you,” he said, boldly.

Miles looked up from his artwork on Tristan’s shoe. “You’re sure?”

He sounded like he had been waiting for Tristan. It felt like a knife to Tristan’s heart when he heard that. He had been holding him on this leash for days while he decided how he really felt. He wanted to make sure he loved him. It didn’t sound that selfish when he rationalized it like that.

“Yeah. I’m sure,” he nodded. Miles gave the best smile he was capable of recently. It wasn’t beaming or incredibly bright, but it was that soft grin he reserved for only Tristan. It was his happiest smile, even if it was wasn’t radiant.  

Miles lifted Tristan’s leg off of his lap. “Come here,” he gestured for him to come down.

Tristan looked down at him with curious eyes and followed his instructions. Miles pulled him into his lap and the chair rolled back a little from the shift in weight. Tristan chuckled a little under his breath at the move and then brought their lips together in a long kiss.

Miles held onto his waist tight as they kissed. It was long and passionate. Tristan could even say it was more passionate than the kisses they shared when they were having sex. There was something purely intimate about it. Like it was a secret that neither was willing to share with anyone. It was a silly kiss in a random teacher’s room that meant so much for Tristan.

They parted when Miles decided to speak up. “I love you too…by the way,” he returned. Tristan smiled and pulled the other into another mind-blowingly satisfying kiss.

\-----

Grace slid her notes and script back into her backpack at the end of the rehearsal. It had been nothing less than a nightmare. Zoe and Zig were both acting incredibly strange and never really recovered after the gun incident. She didn’t know if she wanted to know what was going on with them. She cared, but whatever was going on, she didn’t want them bringing it into her musical.

She looked around and waited for everyone to filter out of the room. She had to be the last one to leave so she could turn the lights off and lock up. She wanted to yell and tell them to move it, but restrained herself. A bitchy director didn’t seem to get anywhere despite that being a good chunk of Grace’s personality in her mind.

A finger tapped her shoulder and she turned to see Zoe. Her forced ‘director smile’ fell when she saw the girl. She still looked relatively shaken up from earlier. Something was definitely going on with her. Grace had an inkling that it had to do with Tatiana in some way. Everything with her was messy and complicated and that was why Grace didn’t want Zoe involved with her. Even if she was betraying her, she didn’t deserve to be caught up in that mess.

“I’m sorry,” Zoe said. Her voice was meek and shaky. It was not a voice Grace had not heard from her before. She looked like something was eating her alive and she was begging for someone to help her.

“Whatever,” Grace said instead of asking what was wrong like she wanted to.

Zoe opened her mouth to say something but closed it almost immediately. Grace watched as she looked up, thinking. There was almost no one left in the auditorium and Grace really wanted to get home. She couldn’t stand there and wait for Zoe to come up with some bullshit apology or whatever she was reaching for.

Grace groaned and put her bag over her shoulders. “Are you going to wrap this up soon because I’ve got like a thousand things I’d rather be doing than watch you with your mouth hanging open?”

That made Zoe look down and swallow like she was forcing a pill back with no water. “Tatiana and I are over,” she revealed.

Grace looked at her with disbelief. Was she insinuating what she thought she was? It made Grace scoff and cross her arms. Did she really think that little of her? That she was just waiting around for her and ready to come crawling back? Grace had more self-respect than that.

“Oh, so you think that means I want to get back together?” the blue-haired girl asked incredulously. “That I was just waiting around for you because I’m that desperate?”

Zoe shook her head rapidly. “That’s not what I meant! Please, just let me explain.”

Grace shook her head and fixed her backpack straps. “I don’t have time for this. All I want is to go home so if you’ll excuse me.”

She turned around and started walking towards the door. She heard Zoe lift her bag and sprint towards her. The Latina swooped in front of Grace and blocked the door. In theory, Grace could probably lift her and move her. But Zoe looked desperate and she wanted to hear what she had to say for herself. She wasn’t going to believe it but she wanted to hear it.

“I was never into Tatiana. I was doing it because Zig wanted me to get with her to help Maya. I promise,” Zoe explained.

Grace raised her eyebrow. She didn’t know if she believed her. It sounded like something that would happen, seeing that Maya was wrapped up in all of this. It would help her if they got some dirt on Rodney. But did that make it okay for Zoe to lie? That was where Grace reached her point.

“Even if that’s true, I’m not mad because of that. I’m mad because you lied to me. You kept saying that things were okay but you were messing around with Tatiana. You wouldn’t just be honest with me,” she rebutted.

Zoe’s eyes started to tear up visibly. “I couldn’t. I didn’t want you to get dragged into this. I thought I was keeping you safe.”

Grace shook her head. “I really don’t want to hear any of these excuses. You cheated on me and now you feel bad because she broke up with you. Seriously Rivas, have some more self-respect than that.”

Zoe’s lips trembled and she made a small whimpering noise. Grace knew she was being excessively mean. These were all the things she wanted to say when Zoe broke up with her. She was finally afforded the opportunity to say them and she wasn’t planning on holding back.

“Please Grace,” Zoe stepped towards her. When she came into closer view, Grace could see that her cheeks were wet with tears. Grace felt bad for making her cry, but reminded herself that this was something she needed to say. She needed to get all of this hurt off her chest.

“Zoe, stop. I walked away. You said you didn’t want to be with me and I walked away. Just because things got hard doesn’t mean I’m going to come back. I walked and you have to deal with it now because I have for weeks now.”

Grace fixed her backpack and turned so she could leave. Zoe’s tears grew louder and more obvious. Grace wanted to turn around and apologize but she couldn’t. She had said so much and she meant it all. Saying she was sorry would take all of that away.

“Grace! Please?” Zoe sobbed after her. Grace looked down and walked faster to avoid facing the mistake she was making.

\-----

Zoe left Degrassi with tears rolling down her cheeks. She was completely devastated by Grace’s response. She didn’t know why part of her thought this would be easy. That she would simply tell Grace what happened and they would get back together. She didn’t know that Grace would be so massively hurt by this. She didn’t know why she didn’t expect it.

As she walked out the front door, she saw Tatiana talking to some kid she hadn’t seen before. It wasn’t one of her friends and she watched as the girl reached into her pocket and pulled something out. They traded what she pulled out for money and the kid sprinted away once the transaction was complete. In Zoe’s sad, angry mind, confronting Tatiana sounded like a great thing to do.

“This is all your fault!” she practically yelled at she walked over to her. Tatiana jumped, but eased when she turned and saw it was Zoe.

“What’s going on?” she asked, crossing her arms. Zoe shook her head. She wanted Tatiana to take her seriously so bad.

“You are a lying, conniving bitch! You knew Zig and I were going to go in there. You almost got us killed,” she sobbed out. Her crying made her anything but intimidating and Zoe hated it. She wanted to be cool and detached about this, but was instead a blubbering mess.

Tatiana smirked. “You thought I would just tell you where Rodney was with no strings attached? You were using me for information and I gave you what you wanted. That doesn’t mean I ended my loyalty with them. It’s not my fault you and pretty boy fell right into that trap.”

Zoe was so angry that she didn’t know why she had ever found Tatiana attractive. All the history they had made her physically angry. She had been so perfectly played by her and even let it happen. She should have seen straight through it but was too blinded by her mission and slight attraction to the other girl.

“They were going to shoot us!” Zoe yelled. She didn’t know if Tatiana had an empathetic bone in her body, but she hoped that would strike a nerve. Most human beings would feel some sort of guilt over that. But by the way Tatiana picked at her nail and shrugged, Zoe could see that she was wrong.

“I wasn’t going to let you use me like that Zoe. Now we have you and Zig right where we want you. Maybe I wouldn’t have done this if there wasn’t the lying or the ulterior motives,” Tatiana explained. It almost made sense and Zoe absolutely hated herself for falling for that. Tatiana was a manipulator, and no matter how much Zoe tried to deny it before, it was true.

“Call off Rodney, okay? And Dougie. All of this needs to end,” the brown-eyed girl reasoned. She didn’t know what she was saying. If they dropped it like nothing happened, Maya would be in jail for at least two years. The days she had been there already were affecting both she and Zig. Even though she and Maya weren’t best friends, Zoe didn’t think she deserved to be in there when all of this was because of Rodney.

Tatiana laughed. “Zig started all of this when he put Vince in jail. We’re considering this payback.”

Her apathy towards the entire situation made the anger bubbling in Zoe’s stomach tumble over. She lunged at her with her hands grabbing for her short hair. She tried to knee her in the stomach but Tatiana dodged it.

They grappled and Zoe thought they might actually take each other to the ground. Tatiana dug her nails into Zoe’s skin hard enough to bruise and draw blood. Zoe was able to get out of her hold and doubled back to punch Tatiana in the mouth. Right when her fist connected with her lips, a pair of arms pulled her away.

Zoe thrashed in the arms of the person who grabbed her, terrified that it was one of the boys that had been holding a gun to her only days before. She gave up her fruitless attempt when she heard the voice of who was holding her.

“She’s not worth it!” Zig shouted to her and Zoe’s limbs calmed down. She looked up and saw Tatiana wipe some blood from her lip. She eyed Zig with the most vengeful look Zoe had seen. It filled her with terror that didn’t disappear even as Tatiana turned and walked away.

Zig let go of her, but grabbed her shoulders once he had turned her to face him. “Look at me,” he shook her a little. “We need to fix this but not like that. Tatiana is not worth it. Whatever you’re working through with Grace or whatever isn’t enough to get you in more trouble with them. Just lay low, okay? Please?”

He looked at her with a pleading expression that made Zoe nod. She didn’t know if she would really give into his request but she needed to nod. Zig needed something he did to turn out positive.

\-----

“Mom has a meeting with Dad and their lawyers until late,” Frankie told Miles as they entered the house. With them was Tristan, who had agreed to go to their house when Miles asked him. Miles wasn’t ready for what they had going in the classroom earlier to be over with.

“Great,” Miles responded, closing the door behind them all. He looked at Tristan, who smiled back at him. Before Frankie could say anything else, the couple went up the stairs and disappeared into Miles’ room.

Tristan was the one who reinitiated their kiss from earlier. It was new but felt like an extension of their last. Miles wrapped his arms around Tristan’s waist and pulled him in further. They stood in the middle of the room, their chests flushed together, until neither of them could stand not having their hands on the other.

By this point, sex with Tristan was something that felt like coming home with Miles. It was familiar, but not in a way that signaled boredom. It was like that satisfying rush of air you got whenever you breached the water after swimming underwater for a moment too long. It was welcoming something he almost forgot he needed back into himself. Every time he and Tristan touched each other just right it made Miles feel like that.

When they both finished, they were a mass of sweaty limbs and twisted blankets. The duvet had been completely pushed off and they were tangled up in the pile of sheets. Only a thin sheet covered their bodies. Miles’ head was against Tristan’s chest in a way that made him feel vulnerable like a nerve.

“I love you,” Miles whispered. He had already said it once that day but it felt natural. Was this what real couples did? They told each other their loved one another whenever the moment appeared. Whenever that feeling inside their chest was too strong not to put into words.

Tristan kissed Miles hair. “I was worried about all of this, you know? Like maybe you were making it up to mess with me.”

Miles looked up at him with concern. “Why?”

There was a long pause between them. Tristan looked over at the window with a thoughtful sigh. Miles didn’t look away and sat there patiently while he waited for a response. He loved Tristan and it hurt knowing that the other didn’t believe him at first.

Tristan’s eyes found Miles again. “I spent so much time worrying that no one would love me. Like, you didn’t know me a couple years ago. I was so afraid that I was the fat, stupid gay kid who would never have someone love them. I was willing to do anything just for someone to love me. I settled for people who I didn’t really like just to have someone.”

He paused and took a deep breath. Miles frowned. He hadn’t heard Tristan voice these concerns before. He knew Tristan wasn’t as confident as he put himself off to be. He was outgoing and friendly but that didn’t mean he didn’t have his moments of shy self-hatred. He was carrying a lot of that from what Miles could see.

The boy continued. “I’m worried that you’re going to change your mind. Or that something like before is going to happen again. That’s why I didn’t tell you I really loved you until today. I’ve been so scared that you’re…you’re going to leave me again.”

Miles heart shattered and he shook his head. He wanted to say he promised but he knew how life was. The second you promised something it was broken. That’s how things in Miles life seemed to go. There were so many promises he was given that were broken. He didn’t want to make one of them his own to Tristan.

“I love you,” Miles whispered and gently brushed their lips together. That was a promise in of itself. There was so much weight and devotion in those words.

Tristan kissed him back. “I love you too.”

Miles felt something that shadowed contentment. It even felt like pride. They didn’t rush this. It didn’t feel like he had won a metal, but rather achieved something he thought he never would. He told someone his feelings without rushing into them. They brought up the idea, thought about it, and finally agreed when they were both on the same page. It was something close to a healthy relationship.


	17. With A Tender Kiss

**Day 64**

Grace was in the process of shoving books from her backpack into her locker when Zig approached her. He didn’t lean against the lockers casually like she thought he would, but stood straight and completely serious. Grace looked over at him, unsure what he was going to say to her.

“What do you want, Novak?” she asked, closing her locker and twisting the lock to make sure it was locked. He shifted from one foot to the other.

“I can’t make it to rehearsal today,” he told her. She raised her eyebrow. He looked much too serious to be telling her something as silly as that.

“Okay?” she said like it was a question. Something was obviously wrong. Whatever it was, that was most likely why he was going to miss rehearsal. “What’s up?”

He sighed. “I have to go to the doctor with Maya. She’s getting released for this afternoon to get an ultrasound since she’s been bleeding apparently.”

Grace’s face turned from mild annoyance to concern. Why hadn’t Maya told any of them about this? She had access to a phone and she could have called. Grace thought that they were friends and this was something you told your friend. Maybe she wanted to keep this private, but Grace couldn’t understand why.

“Holy shit, is she okay?” the blue-haired girl asked. Zig shrugged sadly.

“I don’t know. I don’t know why she didn’t tell me until this morning. I visited her this weekend and she didn’t even tell me then. It’s my baby too. You’d think she’d realize that,” he complained. Grace felt for him. He deserved to know about what was going on with their baby. Even if it turned out to be no big deal, she still should have told him.

She didn’t really know what to say. It was going to be okay? She had no idea how any of this worked. It seemed to be taking too long for to actually be miscarrying, but she wasn’t completely sure how that operated. She didn’t want to say anything that was supposed to be comforting when she could easily be extremely wrong.

“Well…” Grace began, trying to think of something she could say. Her mind was coming up blank and Zig gave her a look that thanked her for trying. She closed her mouth and there was a resonating silence between the two of them.

Zig was the next one to speak up. It wasn’t related to what they had been talking about and it almost have Grace whiplash. “You need to make up with Zoe. She was doing all of that stuff with Tatiana for me. She really wants to be with you.”

Grace definitely wasn’t expecting that. Zoe said Zig was involved with all of it but she hadn’t believed her. She thought Zoe was only making up an excuse to make herself look better. But here was Zig admitting that he did have a hand in it all. It actually made Grace guilty for how she had spoken to Zoe the week before.

“She still cheated on me,” she tried to reason. It was the truth. She had started her affair with Tatiana while they were still together. She knew that. Just because it was fake didn’t make it hurt any less. She didn’t know if she could forgive her for doing something like that.

Zig nodded like he understood her pain. “She was trying to help Maya. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing if I asked you.”

Grace knew the answer to that. Maya was probably her best friend and she would do something like that if it helped her get out of juvie. It was almost enough to make her feel bad for what she had said to Zoe. But it wasn’t enough to completely make her remorseful.

“Fine. But that doesn’t mean I want to get back together with her. She couldn’t tell me the truth? I don’t need that,” she defended herself.

Zig nodded, though he wasn’t completely on her side from the looks of it. “We went through some bad shit the past couple weeks. You don’t have to forgive her, but please go easy on her. She’s still pretty messed up about it.”

Grace didn’t want to agree with him but she nodded anyway. What Zoe had told her was confirmed. She had gotten into some sort of drama with Rodney and friends. She was scared and Grace would respect that. That didn’t mean she was going to go anywhere near getting back together with her.

\-----

Miles’ entire walk to school was filled with Frankie sharing her ideas about Lola’s intervention. They hadn’t had it yet because she was focusing on planning every single detail. Her attention to detail was something that was both annoying and loveable. But while they walked the obnoxious distance from their house to Degrassi, Miles really didn’t want to hear about her plans.

“We’re not going to do it like your intervention,” she continued, talking with her hands like she did. Hunter scoffed when she said this and she leaned so she could see him passed Miles enough to shoot him a glare. Miles rolled his eyes.

“Why do we have to make this a big deal? Can’t we just say ‘Hey Lola, stop dating this guy?” he asked with exhaustion. Her glare left Hunter and landed on Miles.

“No we can’t. We have to show that we care and not intimidate her. Have you ever watched the show Intervention?” she asked in the way she sounded when she knew she was right.

“No, because reality TV only exists for shock value,” Miles answered matter-of-factly. She groaned and he could feel her rolling her eyes. He knew he should be more supportive of this whole thing even though he didn’t really care. He didn’t want Lola to be in an abusive relationship, but he didn’t know her that well. Why couldn’t Frankie get her actual friends?

“We all have to come up with something to say and then let her talk. That’s how it works,” Frankie explained. She sounded so proud of herself, like she had been researching it for days. Miles didn’t know if he considered watching Intervention on Netflix researching.

They made it to school before Miles could come up with a good response. Frankie seemed to be waiting for it, but he simply walked away. She stood at the front steps with her mouth hanging open. He glanced behind him only briefly to give her a short sarcastic wave.

Miles was surprised to see Tristan leaning against his locker when he got there. “What are you doing?” he asked as the boy stepped aside. He opened up the door and put his backpack inside.

“I was waiting for you. What does it look like?” Tristan asked.

Their relationship had become tighter than it had ever been before. After saying they loved each other, it felt different. It felt like they were closer and had some sort of invisible tether holding them together. If that meant Tristan would stand at his locker and wait for him, then Miles was okay with that.

“So Frankie is really serious about this intervention,” Miles brought up as he finished grabbing his notebook and book out of his locker. He shut the door to his locker and grabbed Tristan’s hand with the one that wasn’t helping balance his books in the crook of his elbow. Tristan took his hand like it was something he was meant to do forever.

“I still think it’s a good idea,” Tristan commented and Miles looked over at him. He didn’t know what had gone on with Tristan and Lola. They weren’t really friends, but they must have spent time together. Whenever Miles saw Tristan with Dougie and Rodney she was there. Maybe that had made them close enough that he really cared about what happened to her.

“It’s good but Frankie’s trying to make it into this big thing. Like we’re on an episode of Intervention or something,” he explained. Tristan laughed a little under his breath. They stopped at the door of their English class and Tristan leaned against the doorframe.

“They’re friends. I think an intervention would have been good when I was taking drugs. It just means she cares,” he squeezed Miles’ hand. When he made it sound like that, Miles felt bad for making fun of it like he had been. Frankie was doing something nice and he thought it was stupid.

“You’re right,” Miles shrugged.

“I always am.”

They both leaned in for a kiss and only stopped when they heard a teacher’s voice tell them no PDA.

\-----

School was absolute torture for Zig. He had found out about the baby and Maya’s appointment that morning and was expected to go on like nothing was happening. Something might be very wrong with his baby and all he could do was wait until the final bell rang. He knew he would practically sprint to the doctor’s office.

Maya was going to be dropped off in a van by the prison. Her mother had clarified that. All Zig needed to do was get himself there before the appointment started. He didn’t even have time to get excited about seeing Maya because he was so worried. He had grown attached to this baby even though he hadn’t even seen or felt it.

He didn’t talk to anyone all day after his exchange with Grace. He was focused on thinking of all the things he would ask the doctor. He had a notebook open and filled up three pages by the end of the day. Some of them sounded stupid, but he wasn’t going to make the mistake he did last time. He had so many things he wanted to know, even if he wasn’t going to be with Maya while the baby was growing.

The bell rang and Zig ran out of the building. The appointment was supposed to be at three and school got out at two forty-five. The doctor’s office wasn’t that far from Degrassi. Still, he wanted to make sure he was early. He hoped he could get there before Maya got out of the van.

He made it there five minutes early and there was no sign of Maya. The only person he saw he knew was Ms. Matlin. She was seated in the waiting room chair closest to the door. It looked like she wanted the easiest access to the door when the van arrived. It was a smart move. Zig went through the heavy glass doors and smiled at her.

“Hi Zig,” she said with a forced smile. He could only imagine how hard this had been on her. It was non-stop with Maya recently. She was arrested, she was pregnant, she was released, and she was put back in. The punches just kept coming and coming with no sign of stopping. Especially with all of this medical issues happening now.

He sat down next to her. “When did they say she was going to get here?”

She looked over at him and shrugged. “They said three but I don’t know. Nothing they do is ever efficient.”

Zig could concur with that. It had taken them days to get approval for Maya to even see a doctor. He couldn’t imagine what would happen if Maya actually had to have the baby while she was in jail. Would they wait until the last possible second before transferring her? Would there be a chance that she’d have the baby on the way to the hospital? He wouldn’t put it above them.

Ms. Matlin let out a bitter laugh. “This started on Wednesday. She told them on Wednesday that she was having this problem. They waited until now to let her go to the doctor. What if she had miscarried the baby in there? What would they do about that?”

Zig had never heard her be so defeated. She sounded angry, but not like she was in too much disbelief. It sounded like she was cursing herself for not thinking that this would happen. Zig was sure Maya told her about the situation before this happened. Her mother visited her every day so it had to have come up. There was no way to put a rush on it, even if she complained. At least that’s what he guessed happened.

He didn’t want to think about what would have happened if she miscarried the baby. He had grown so attached to his child in only a short amount of time. He didn’t know how it had happened. There was something about knowing that his child was going to be in the world in seven months. A baby he hadn’t wanted at first but loved more than anything. He was going to be a dad and though it was scary, the idea made him feel so much love for the baby and for Maya.

“The baby’s got to be okay, right?” Zig heard himself ask. He didn’t know the words were leaving his lips until they were out in the open. Saying this concern out loud made it sound almost petty. This was all happening so fast and he just wanted everything to be okay.

Ms. Matlin put her hand on Zig’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. It wasn’t exactly a yes, but it was something. It offered comfort if only for a brief, fleeting moment.

\-----

Zoe was finally starting to recover from her freak out the week before. She tried to get Grace back and attack Tatiana all in one day. She knew now that it was something that should never have been attempted. She should have waited for the wounds to heal instead of making them fester. She didn’t know if either girl would want anything to do with her anymore.

It wasn’t until she was seated in one of the folding chairs in the auditorium that she realized how lonely she had become. Zig was at Maya’s appointment, Tristan was with Miles seeing that they were still practicing Act Two, and she lost Grace. She sat there all alone, looking around for someone who might want to talk to her. There was no one.

They were starting with ‘Gee, Officer Krupke,’ so she was left sitting in the audience until that was over. She sat in the middle, watching as Grace and the grade 10 choreographer that had volunteered told the boys where to go. Zoe’s eyes stayed locked on Grace until the guilt in her chest started to eat at her.

She did notice until she heard a loud sigh that Grace had sat down next to her. Zoe looked up and over at her with surprise. Their eyes met and Grace offered her an apologetic smile. There were no words but there was something. Before Zoe could say anything, the other returned her own eyes to the stage.

They sat there in comfortable silence while Grace watched the boys on the stage perform with the choreographer. Dancing definitely wasn’t something that was Grace’s thing, so Zoe figured it made sense she had gotten someone to do it. Still, she could see the girl’s face contort into different pleased or displeased expressions as the number went on.

After they had gone through it twice, Grace spoke. “Okay, break time. Let’s get set for the scene at Doc’s.”

Everyone scattered but neither Grace nor Zoe moved. The silence between them was becoming too much for Zoe to bear. She turned Grace while she heard the bar being loudly dragged onto the stage.

“I’m sorry,” she said. She knew it meant nothing to Grace but she needed to say it. She said it before and it meant nothing. Maybe repeating it once more would give it more meaning. That she really was sorry and wasn’t just faking it because she couldn’t stand having someone mad at her.

Grace looked over at her after turning the pages in her book. She crossed her hands on her lap on top of her notebook. “Okay,” she nodded. The silence returned when she looked away and down at her notes. She appeared to be thoroughly interested in the contents of them. The ones for that scene weren’t that extensive yet. They hadn’t actually rehearsed it much. There was still a lot of movement that needed to be worked out before they could really flesh out the scene. Today seemed to be the day to do that.

Grace watched them set the scene and told them which direction to move the bar in. The boys and Arlene were setting themselves up around the area. Frankie was glancing at her script. She didn’t have many lines but they had to be as passionate as possible. Zoe was mentally sending her good vibes.

It was a complete shock to Zoe when Grace set down her notebook and turned to face her. She grabbed her chin and pulled her into a kiss. Zoe’s eyes widened with surprise. If there was one thing she didn’t expect that day it was that. She kissed her back. It was short and tender but it brought back why Zoe liked Grace so much.

When they parted, Grace frowned. “Dammit,” she breathed and turned to look at the stage again.

\-----

Miles invited Tristan over to his house again after school, which Tristan accepted. They left after the final bell, despite Frankie being at rehearsal. Miles told her that she could walk home by herself for once and she agreed after putting up a bit of a fight. Tristan decided to stay out of that. He didn’t matter what they did as long as he was with Miles.

They walked to the Hollingsworth house. It still sucked that Miles never knew what happened with his car. There was a rumor that Zig was the one who took it but Tristan didn’t know how reliable that was. Mrs. Hollingsworth told Miles that if he wanted a new car, he would have to talk to his father, which was a reasonable no from him. If he was okay walking to his house, then so was Tristan.

They reached the house after the brief stretch of time it took to get there. It was officially the fall and the outside of the house was starting to get that depressing feeling it got when it got colder outside. It was still big and fancy, but with a sadder feel to it. Tristan didn’t know if Miles felt it as they entered through the back and saw the covered pool.

“What do you want to do? Miles asked as they walked into the living room. Tristan looked around, trying to think of something. He shrugged when Miles returned from the kitchen where he had disappeared to after asking the question.

He handed Tristan a bottle of water that he must have grabbed out of the refrigerator. He sat down on one of the couches and Tristan went to join him. He sat and Miles wrapped his arm around his shoulders. It was a content moment as Tristan kissed Miles on the cheek softly.

“How about you show me one of the songs from the musical?” Miles suggested. Tristan knew that he hadn’t been stalking the performances so he hadn’t heard any of Tristan’s songs. He had two big solos that were (almost) all his.

He nodded and stood from the couch. The sensation of anxiety started to burn in his stomach the second he stood. He knew Miles thought of him as confident and attention-seeking, but this was starting to make his palms sweat. What if he messed up in front of Miles? This was his boyfriend. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of him.

Tristan cleared his throat. “Can I go to the bathroom first?” he asked, wanting to avoid the situation until he could privately psych himself up.

Miles nodded and gestured in the direction of the bathroom. Tristan snatched his bottle of water and retreated down the hall. He closed the door tight once he entered the space.

He tried his best to take soothing deep breaths. Why couldn’t he just tell Miles no? He was panicking about something that was so tiny and worthless. It wasn’t like he was on stage; he was in the middle of Miles’ living room. Tristan reasoned that it was because it was his boyfriend. Even if they were comfortable with which other, messing up didn’t feel like an option. Saying no also sounded like he was being too shy and holding out.

As Tristan looked around the bathroom, taking deep breaths, he noticed something on the counter. It was a prescription bottle that Miles was given by the doctors after his injury. The temptation almost made Tristan salivate. He missed taking pills like nothing else. They always had a way of calming him down and loosening him up. Especially in situations where he had completely freaked himself out. What was going on right now qualified as one of those moments.

He reached for the bottle compulsively. Could a couple pills really hurt? They would just calm him down one more time and he would be done. That seemed reasonable. At least it was enough for him to open the bottle and shake two out onto his palm.

They weren’t the same pills he had been taking but they were still painkillers. Tristan glanced into the mirror to get a good long look at himself. It wasn’t a relapse. It was just two pills to calm him down in front of Miles. He wasn’t going to do any more than that. He kept repeating that over and over as he put the pills in his mouth and swallowed them down with a swig of his water.

\-----

The ride to the doctor’s office was absolute hell for Maya. She was told she had an appointment that morning and she had to prepare herself. It had been too long, but at least the bleeding had decided to stop that day. It came and went. It was never enough to really mean a miscarriage, but it was enough to worry her. After days of it, she was starting to go into a blind panic.

When the van did come, she was shoved into it with a guard sitting beside her. She had to remain cuffed while inside the van. They had dressed her in the clothes she came in with so at least she wasn’t showing up at the doctor’s in one of her jumpsuits. That didn’t stop it from being humiliating as she was ushered out of the van with her hands linked together.

Zig was outside the door when they parked and she looked at the guard to see if she would allow them to speak. The woman nodded and Maya ran over to him as fast as she could. She was pregnant after all and had her wrists firmly clasped together.

It didn’t matter how she ran, Zig still swept her up in his arms. “God, I missed you,” he whispered and she smiled.

“Me too,” she said when they parted. It was like they both forgot why they were there for a brief stretch of time. But when the guard cleared her throat, they were reminded all over again.

Zig opened the door for both of them and they entered the office. Maya’s mother stood and hugged her as well. She missed the warmth of her mother’s arms so much it almost brought tears to her eyes. When you were pregnant and having complications like this, all you wanted was your mom. Talking to her through glass wasn’t enough.

Their reunion was cut short when the nurse called Maya’s name. Maya looked up at the guard who was accompanying her. The lady sighed and pulled a pair of keys out of her shirt’s breast pocket. She unlocked the handcuffs and Maya immediately rubbed her wrists. It had only been about of a half an hour with them on, but it felt like a lifetime.

Maya, Zig, and the guard all entered the office with the nurse. Maya sat on the exam table and Zig pulled a chair forward so he could hold her hand while they took her vitals. Her guard stood in the corner, watching the interaction with a bored expression. Maya was sure she disliked this just as much as she did.

It didn’t take long for Dr. Andersen to enter the room. She wasn’t wearing her skirt and lab coat this time, but rather a pair of pink scrubs. She glanced up at the guard for a moment before returning her attention to Maya and Zig.

“Hello,” she greeted them as she walked over to the machine that was standing beside the exam table. “I wish I was seeing you under better circumstances. From what I understand, you’ve been having some worrisome spotting?”

“Yeah. It started on Wednesday,” Maya answered quickly. The doctor nodded and gave the woman in the corner another fleeting glance. She looked back with look that said she was apologizing for everything.

“Okay. I don’t think it’s anything huge. Probably just a normal amount of spotting. I’m still going to check you out so if you could lift your shirt?” she asked. Maya did as she was told and the woman placed a thin protective sheet over Maya’s pants.

She turned on the ultrasound machine. While she waited for it to boot up, she took a bottle off the cart and squirted a liberal amount of the contents on Maya’s stomach. It was cold like all the movies had warned her. The doctor grabbed the wand from the machine and held it to her belly.

It took a few moments for anything to show up on the screen. Maya looked over at Zig to see if he was doing alright. He was watching the screen so intently that he didn’t even see her look at him. That was a clue for Maya to look back over.

Dr. Andersen smiled. “Ah, I know what this is,” she said as she moved the wand around. She stopped it and clicked a button that took a capture of the screen quickly.

“What is it?” Zig asked. He looked like he was hanging off the edge of his seat with anticipation. Maya would have found it endearing if she wasn’t just as anxious for the news.

“Well,” the doctor began as she pointed to the screen. “See that there? That’s your baby.”

They both look at it and Maya’s heart felt like it might burst. She was actually looking at an image of her child. It was small, like the size of a grape. She looked over at Zig and he had tears in his eyes. She chuckled under her breath at what a sap he was. Not that she wasn’t thankful for it.

The doctor moved her finger to something that looked similar to the first thing she pointed out. “And there is your second baby.”


	18. Pilgrims' Hands Do Touch

**Day 70**

Tristan kept telling himself that Miles wouldn’t notice his painkillers were slowly disappearing. He was only taking one or two at a time to make it look like they were slowly going away because Miles himself was taking them. It was a flawless plan in his mind. It meant his pill intake was slow; it was just enough to take the edge off.

These pills weren’t as strong as what he had been taking earlier. They didn’t give Oxy to people with minor injuries. They were a low dose of Norco that only took the edge off of Tristan’s anxiety. It was perfect with the musical slowly approaching that month. It wasn’t like he was getting high like before. It was the same as taking some sort of prescribed anxiety medication.

Unfortunately, the pills were replacing one anxiety for another. His fear of humiliation and scorn was replaced with his fear of Miles finding out about his stealing his medication. Despite rationalizing his method every day, there was still that fear that Miles would figure it out. He was assuming Miles was unobservant enough not to notice the slow disappearance of his pills.

It was hard to face his boyfriend as the addiction started to take over again. He didn’t want to be the huge disappointment he knew he was. Miles had tried so hard to help him get clean and he was throwing all of that away. That only made his anxiety worse and he would take more pills to ebb that away. It was an endless circle that he was locking himself in once again.

On that Monday, he looked at the pills in his palm. He was at school and kept looking over his shoulder to see if anyone was planning on sneaking up on him. When the coast was clear, he placed two of the pills on his tongue and took a long drink of his water. He had a mouthful of water when he felt a pair of familiar arms circle his waist.

He practically spit the water and forced himself to swallow. “You’re lucky I didn’t spit on you,” he told Miles, who was still holding onto him tightly. Tristan heard a chuckle from the boy behind him.

“You don’t like surprises?” Miles asked as he tightened his arms around Tristan.

Tristan couldn’t stay mad at Miles. He wasn’t mad, but more scared. The pills never took long to take effect and the first side effects were almost noticeable. It started with him swaying and having to take some deep breaths. He was improving on getting passed them, but it wasn’t completely possible yet.

Tristan leaned his head back against Miles’ collarbone. Miles kissed his temple and leaned his chin on his shoulder. It still surprised Tristan how affectionate Miles could be when he wanted to. He wasn’t always, but there were the moments when he would hold onto him tight and pepper him with sweet kisses. They beat anything else they did together.

“Okay, let go please,” Tristan told him. He didn’t want to face his locker anymore and would rather be looking at his boyfriend’s face. Miles relented and Tristan moved from where he was still securely placed in the other’s arms.

He faced him and all the guilt he was feelings came rushing back. What would happen if he couldn’t even face him again? Looking at Miles’ face was enough to make his chest constrict with the horror of what he was doing. Miles was there for him when he was fighting his addiction. A relapse would be like spitting in the face of his efforts.

“Are you feeling okay?” Miles asked. He must have noticed how the color left Tristan’s cheeks. Tristan didn’t really know if it was the effects of the pills or just a symptom of his guilt.

“Oh, yeah. I think I’m getting a cold,” he answered. Miles frowned.

“Well, I love you, but if you get me sick I’m going to be pissed,” the other boy joked. Tristan frowned and shook his head.

They each went in for a kiss at the same time. It was short and more like a peck than anything else. The way Miles’ lips felt on his made Tristan’s heart fill with both love and that lingering remorse. It was almost enough to make him want to give up the pills altogether again.

Almost.

\-----

For Maya, it felt like the second the doctor told her about the twins her body decided to be pregnant. Something changed and she started puking at least three times a day and gagging at almost all of the prison meals. She felt sorry for her cellmates who had to put up with her hydro-pumping everything she ate into their shared toilet every five minutes.

Andrea was the only one who seemed to have sympathy for her. The rest of the girls complained to the warden about the issue. At least she figured that was why they had her seated in front of the warden when she knew she hadn’t done anything else wrong.

The warden was a large man who must have topped out at six-foot-four. He looked like the human equivalent on Frankenstein. Maya had never seen a scarier man in her life. So sitting in front of him when she was certain she hadn’t done anything wrong was absolutely terrifying.

“Maya Matlin,” he said in his booming voice. She was almost sure she heard an echo is his tiny office.

“Yes?” she murmured. She wasn’t completely sure if he wanted a response, but the pause he made left her feeling uneasy.

After she spoke, he looked down at her with a face that said he was trying to be nice. She was hopeful that the rough exterior he had was really concealing a reasonable man. For some reason, she was sure that was not the case.

He cleared his throat noisily. Did he have to do everything loudly? It sounded like a law mower being started. Once he had obviously gotten whatever was lodged in his lungs out, he took a long sip of water from the glass on his desk. Maya just wanted to the torture to start and all these interruptions were driving her absolutely crazy.

Once his water was down, he opened the manila folder on his desk that Maya guessed contained her file. “I have been getting quite the hefty amount of complaints about you lately.”

Maya was sure he didn’t want her to answer. Her suspicions about her cellmates were confirmed now. The dirty looks they gave her backed up the story he was giving her. She was really hoping that Andrea was not one of those people. The other girl promised, but Maya wasn’t completely sure. They weren’t really friends after all.

“You’re ten weeks pregnant, correct?” he asked, though Maya knew her file already told him that.

“Yes, I am. I don’t know if the note is in there, but I am having twins,” she answered. He looked down his nose at her over the pair of reading glasses he wore that were too small for his fat, red face.

“Twins. Interesting,” he picked up one of the multiple pens on his desk and wrote something on her file. He closed the folder after he finished and took his glasses off. After folding them and sticking them in his breast pocket, he knit his fingers together and placed his hands on the desk.

With a heavy sigh, he resumed speaking. “You would be surprised how many pregnant inmates I get every year. You girls are why I have heartburn.”

Maya noticed the bottle of Tums that were next to his computer monitor. She was confused about why he was telling her this anecdote. He looked old enough to retire and she almost asked why he hadn’t yet if it was really affecting his health.

“I’m sorry?” she whispered like it was a question. He nodded to her like a thank you for her concern. It was a strange form of communication from a man like him.

“I see you have your court date set up for next week. Since the date is approaching quickly, it’s my professional choice that you will be placed in solitary until the date. You will be given phone and visitor time. Your meals will be delivered as well as your medications. Do you understand?”

Maya had to force herself not to gape. “You’re punishing me because I’m pregnant? This cannot be legal. I want to talk to my lawyer about this.”

The warden looked at her with a tired expression. “That can be arranged during visiting hours. Until then, you will be placed in solitary.”

The guard that escorted her to the office moved from her spot in the corner and helped Maya up. The blonde was almost near tears as they led her to the solitary area of the building.

\-----

“I think we need to take about the elephant in the room,” Zoe announced as she approached Grace in the Rubber Room hallway. Her ex-girlfriend looked up at her with furrowed brows. Zoe couldn’t believe how dense she was acting.

“We don’t need to talk about anything,” Grace said as she finished emptying her books into her locker.

Zoe groaned. She hated when Grace got like this. She was all silent and moody. It was typical Grace. Whenever she wanted to block someone else, she would shrug them off like they didn’t exist. Zoe wasn’t going to let her do that to her anymore.

“You kissed me,” the Latina persisted. She crossed her arms in an attempt to look tougher than she really was. Grace eyed her with disbelief.

“Your memory is intact. That’s good,” Grace replied with a roll of her eyes. She pushed passed Zoe, who shook her head. She continued to pursue her even as the other retreated down the hallway.

“You can’t just kiss me and then not say anything. I won’t allow it,” Zoe said like she was making a decree. Grace stopped and released what Zoe could hear was a hefty sigh.

She didn’t turn even though she was addressing Zoe. “Fine. I kissed you. It was a test and I failed, okay?”

Her stopping gave Zoe time to catch up. She walked in front of her so she could face her. What kind of test was she talking about? Why wasn’t Zoe aware that this test was going on? She felt like she should have known so she could do her best.

“What test?” she asked, crossing her arms again. She wanted to keep up her tough appearance.

Grace rolled her eyes another time. “I wanted to see if I still felt something for you. And congratulations, I do.”

Zoe was surprised to hear that. Grace attempted to walk away but the other blocked her. She didn’t know if she would ever hear Grace say those words again. She still had feelings for her despite trying to play it off as nothing. They weren’t over and Zoe knew Grace knew it too.

“You do?” Zoe asked, stupidly. She cursed herself for not using the amount of time she had with Grace to say something worthwhile. It was like her time was running out and she had to make the seconds count.

Grace scoffed. “What did I just say?”

Zoe cleared her throat and nodded. She was trying her best to play this off as coolly as possible but she was failing. All she wanted to do was jump up and down. There was a possibility that Grace wanted her back which was enough for Zoe. She could work with a small inkling.

“Does that mean you want to get back together?” Zoe asked. She had to. The face Grace made said that that was a mistake.

“Just because I still have feelings for you doesn’t mean I want to jump back into bed with you. You lied and cheated, okay? Can we please get on the same page with that? I don’t care what went down, you were still shady and didn’t tell me the truth. Just because I like you doesn’t mean I trust you.”

That felt like a knife in Zoe’s heart. It made that good feeling she had go away completely. She wanted to regain Grace’s trust, but she didn’t know how. She would have to make it up to her in some way.

“Can I earn it back?” Zoe asked. Grace looked her up and down before nodding.

“Maybe you could,” she responded in that voice that made Zoe melt.

They weren’t completely over. As much as Grace tried to make it sound like it was, there was a way Zoe could get her trust back. All she had to do was figure out how to do that.

\-----

Grace didn’t know why she gave into Zoe’s insane notion they would ever get back together. The kiss meant something, but she told herself to remain strong. Everything with Zoe was unnecessary stress that she didn’t need. Even if that kiss spoke volumes, she wouldn’t relent like that.

Once the other practically skipped off, Grace dipped into her history class. She had no desire to look at the white male faces of the past, especially with all of these issues with Zoe going on. It was taking over her life and she didn’t need that. Even though she hated history, she told herself she needed to look forward to it. It would keep this Zoe drama in the back of her mind.

She took her seat at one of the two person desks. While she mindlessly wrote musical notes in her notebook, someone took the seat beside her. Upon looking up, she saw that it was Rodney. She practically jumped seeing him there. He was in her class, but he never went near her. He barely even showed up.

“How’s it going, Grace?” he asked, casually. Grace sat up in her seat, showing that she was on guard. She didn’t know what he wanted from her. He didn’t talk to anyone who wasn’t a friend if he didn’t want something from them.

“Go fuck yourself,” Grace told him seriously. Even though her words were stern, he still laughed.

“Where are you manners?” he asked in the sarcastic voice he always had. She snorted in disgust.

“Up your ass,” she answered, knowing that the only way she could truly keep her guard up was if she stayed on his level. She couldn’t let him have a leg up on her. That was a surefire way to give him the upper hand.

“I just wanted to have a conversation with my good friend Grace. Is that a problem?” Rodney asked with a smirk. Grace wanted nothing more than to slap it off his face.

She quelled the urge to hit him and faced forward towards the board. “We’re not friends. I don’t want to talk to you.”

Grace heard him laugh and lean back in the chair. “I only wanted to give you some incentive to make sure your friends stay silent. Can you blame me?”

That sparked her interest. She pulled her eyes away from the board and looked him up and down. She knew Zoe wasn’t lying about the whole ordeal with Rodney and Tatiana. Zig confirmed that for her. But what he wanted from her, Grace couldn’t know. Any incentive he gave always came with serious, barbed-wire strings attached.

Rodney could tell she was interested. He cleared his throat and brought the chair back on the floor completely so he could whisper. “I’m ready to give you a good chunk of change if you keep Zig and what’s-her-face out of my business. I need Maya to stay locked up if that’s gonna work.”

Grace stopped listening and shut him down. “Maya’s my friend. I’m not going to throw her under the bus for your drug money. No deal.”

Rodney chuckled. “None of you can take the easy way, can you? Here’s the thing. You’re not really getting a choice in this. Give in easy and the money is yours. If not…”

Grace didn’t want to know what he was going to say. She had seen what he did to people who didn’t agree with him. He didn’t shoot to kill; he shot to slow. The images of people cut into pieces showed that. He wasn’t like the guys like Vince and other people in his group. He was serious about all of this.

“I don’t want your money,” she said without looking at him. “Final. Answer.”

Rodney didn’t say anything and just stood up. The look he gave her before walking away said this wasn’t over. Grace had to look down to conceal the fear she felt. She wasn’t going to sell Maya out like that. Even if that meant her own safety was in question.

\-----

It was becoming a routine that Tristan would come over the Hollingsworth house every afternoon. Miles didn’t even have to ask anymore. They would just walk home together and it happened. Miles liked the fact that it was becoming so casual. Like he and Tristan were in a real relationship.

When they reached the house, they resigned themselves to doing homework in Miles room. It felt like a waste of quality time together, but if they both wanted to pass English it was necessary. Miles hated that he was getting cock-blocked by Catcher in the Rye.

“This kid is just a whiny brat,” Tristan pointed out about the subject.

Miles laughed. “I don’t think you can put that down as a character trait,” he said, gesturing towards the worksheets they were supposed to be filling out. Tristan gave him the bitchy face that Miles loved so much.

“Fine. How should I put it then?” he asked. He sounded almost irritable, but Miles played it off as nothing. No one wanted to spend their time with their boyfriend doing homework. Did it mean they were settling into a routine? Were they becoming too comfortable?

“Narcissistic?” Miles suggested, nudging Tristan with his foot that on the bed. Tristan looked up at him with a curious look. Miles smiled back and the pair enjoyed the moment for a few seconds.

Miles wrote the word down on his own paper and watched Tristan do the same. When he was finished, the other looked up and cleared his throat.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom, okay?” Tristan asked, removing his legs from the bed. He stood and walked to the room that stood adjacent to Miles’ room.

It was curious how every time they were together Tristan would resign to the bathroom at least once. It wasn’t that Miles was questioning his bathroom habits. The only strange thing was that it was a recent development. He never did that when they were together before. Maybe they were getting too comfortable with one another.

While waiting for Tristan, Miles’ thoughts were able to run wild. What was Tristan doing in there every day? What if he wasn’t just using the bathroom? What if there was something else going on? Miles didn’t want to be overly attached or protective. He wanted to be trusting and cool, but his anxieties were getting the best of him. He had this overwhelming need to self-sabotage like always.

Tristan returned and Miles waited at least ten minutes before excusing himself. He entered the bathroom and looked around. Everything seemed to be in order like always. Nothing strange or out of the ordinary.

His next idea was to look at the vanity. He opened the medicine cabinet and noticed something. It was something so minor and stupid, but it made an impact that made Miles’ chest ache. The bottle of painkillers he had been given after his hospital stay was on the second shelf and not the first where he had put it that morning.

Miles knew he put them on the first shelf. He always left them there. The only other person who went into that bathroom was Tristan. It made Miles have to grab the sink to support himself. After everything, was Tristan still getting back into pills? They had spent hours getting him clean and he was throwing it away.

It wasn’t enough to completely incriminate him. Maybe Miles just put them away on the wrong shelf. He kept telling himself that. Mistakes happened and they were especially common in the morning. He was just freaking out over this. Stranger things had happened.

If he really thought this was because of Tristan, he needed evidence. He needed to make sure it was true before he burst through the door with accusations. Miles grabbed the bottle of pills and shook them out onto the palm of his hand. He had twelve left. If he took the two he was supposed to in the morning, he should have ten the next night. If there was ten, he was freaking out. If there was less…then he didn’t know what he would do.

\-----

Zig arrived at the juvenile center during the visiting hours like he did three times a week. He knew he should go more, but life got in the way. He needed to see Maya more though. She was his girlfriend and the mother of his children. Children. That was a big word that he didn’t know if he would ever get used to.

Since the twin revelation, Zig was trying his best to be cool about it. He didn’t want his sheer panic to worry Maya. She had enough to worry about. That didn’t stop the fear he felt about having two babies. And if Maya stayed in jail, that meant he would be raising two children by himself. It was something he was rightfully terrified about.

He made it through the security and entered the visiting area. He hated how maximum security this place was. Maya wasn’t a violent criminal. She didn’t deserve to be locked up behind a plate of glass with her wrist cuffed to a table. She deserved so much better, but she didn’t seem to be getting it.

Zig sat down at her booth and grabbed the phone. She looked like absolute shit. She told him days before that she had been feelings terrible. Maybe it was psychosomatic, he didn’t know. He had to look that up after she mentioned the word. It didn’t matter if it was, he had to acknowledge her pain regardless.

“Hey,” Zig greeted. “How are you feeling?”

She looked up at him with tears brimming in her eyelids. He was already in attack mode. What was going on that was making Maya cry? If there was one thing he hated in the world, it was seeing her cry. In his mind, she deserved to be happy all of the time.

“They put me in solitary,” she whimpered out. Her face was long in defeat.

Zig didn’t know what to say to that. What could Maya do to warrant being put in solitary? She wasn’t the type of girl to do anything like that. Her prison stay had so far been quiet and she told him she was blending into the background. A person like that didn’t end up locked up alone.

“What happened?” he asked, leaning forward like he was whispering.

She took a shaky breath that he could hear through the phone. “I’ve been distracting people with my symptoms. They got too many complaints so he put me in there so I can’t disturb people.”

Zig knew she was talking about the warden. She told him about him during some of their other conversations. He was an intimidating man from what he heard, which made sense. If you dealt with criminals all day, you had to be pretty intimidating. But why did he lock her up? Didn’t it make more sense to tell the other girls to quit complaining?

“That’s so wrong,” he said, shaking his head. It couldn’t be legal. The more he thought about it the more illegal it became in his head. It was discrimination, right? You couldn’t put someone in solitary for being pregnant.

“I know,” Maya sniffed. “I need you to get a message to my lawyer. Tell her about this. I need to talk to her as soon as possible. Okay, Zig?”

Zig nodded. He would have to obtain Susan’s number from Maya’s mom, but he would tell her. She needed to know about what they were doing to Maya in there. If they could prove that this was illegal, couldn’t that help her case? It sounded like one of those things that happened in all of those law dramas.

“I miss you,” she whispered. She set the phone down and put her free hand on the glass. They did this almost every time he was there. He put his own hand on top of hers.

Maya closed her eyes like she could actually feel the sensation of him touching her. If Zig concentrated extra hard, he could feel it too.

She picked up the phone again. “I love you.”

Zig didn’t even hesitate to respond. “I love you too,” he said into the speaker.

She smiled up at him and he smiled back. His heart ached for her. She was being put through the ringer and didn’t deserve it. The punches kept coming and from Zig’s point of view, it looked like she was feeling every one.


End file.
